BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 317
After almost getting laughed at at a job interview and not getting the job I almost had a mental breakdown earlier and am contemplating ctb.
I was about to start trying to get drunk like always to self medicate, even though I don't even have that much liquor. But then I got an idea from a video I saw on social media about a person who had an Amazon delivery driver job. I thought that was the perfect job for me because every time I keep trying to get a retail job it never works out. Like I can literally feel my soul being drained just by being in the rooms of that environment, and I almost always get bullied when there are people involved anyways.
So I got the bright idea to go online and try to apply to an Amazon delivery job, and I looked up Amazon delivery job careers. When I looked it up, it told me to download an app, so I went on my phone to do it. When I went on my phone to do it it kept saying something about my bank card. And for some reason, I've been having problems with my bank card when it comes to downloading apps, even though it works just fine anywhere else!
This is the last thing I want to worry about, the person that I'm staying with is getting tired of helping me and I really don't have any other help, and all of this is just so stressful. My brain literally hurts, my head is hurting. It hurts to speak, it hurts when I talk, my brain hurts 24/7 I'm always in constant mental agony and distress.
Every time I ask for help people get annoyed and tell me that I'm faking it, or I should know better, or I look kinda normal so it's not that serious. Or that I'm not trying hard enough, yet every time I try I end up getting bullied, and every time I ask for help people get annoyed or act like they don't want to help me. I'm just so tired, my brain hurts, everything hurts. I don't know how I'm gonna make it tomorrow when all of the alcohol is gone. What do you do when you're in a crisis, but you can't even help yourself because you don't have insurance? I'm just so tired.
I was about to start trying to get drunk like always to self medicate, even though I don't even have that much liquor. But then I got an idea from a video I saw on social media about a person who had an Amazon delivery driver job. I thought that was the perfect job for me because every time I keep trying to get a retail job it never works out. Like I can literally feel my soul being drained just by being in the rooms of that environment, and I almost always get bullied when there are people involved anyways.
So I got the bright idea to go online and try to apply to an Amazon delivery job, and I looked up Amazon delivery job careers. When I looked it up, it told me to download an app, so I went on my phone to do it. When I went on my phone to do it it kept saying something about my bank card. And for some reason, I've been having problems with my bank card when it comes to downloading apps, even though it works just fine anywhere else!
This is the last thing I want to worry about, the person that I'm staying with is getting tired of helping me and I really don't have any other help, and all of this is just so stressful. My brain literally hurts, my head is hurting. It hurts to speak, it hurts when I talk, my brain hurts 24/7 I'm always in constant mental agony and distress.
Every time I ask for help people get annoyed and tell me that I'm faking it, or I should know better, or I look kinda normal so it's not that serious. Or that I'm not trying hard enough, yet every time I try I end up getting bullied, and every time I ask for help people get annoyed or act like they don't want to help me. I'm just so tired, my brain hurts, everything hurts. I don't know how I'm gonna make it tomorrow when all of the alcohol is gone. What do you do when you're in a crisis, but you can't even help yourself because you don't have insurance? I'm just so tired.
