It’s inevitable

[Brokenwithbpd]

I always say my suicide is inevitable. It just seems so beautiful to me. But I'm at a loss. Almost every day I want to ctb but then there's usually like a week in there where I feel great and I can continue in the world. It's so
Mentally exhausting. I just wish it was easier

also, anyone who plans to ctb? Did y'all vote? Just curious

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm from Argentina so I didn't vote but I would've done it anyway if I had been in USA.
As for the "happy week and then the world sucks again" issue, it happens to me all the time and as you said, it's mentally exhausting.
What can we do? I guess the only option is to wait for the CTB day and meanwhile, enjoy any hobbies or waste time on the internet.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I'm from Argentina so I didn't vote but I would've done it anyway if I had been in USA.
As for the "happy week and then the world sucks again" issue, it happens to me all the time and as you said, it's mentally exhausting.
What can we do? I guess the only option is to wait for the CTB day and meanwhile, enjoy any hobbies or waste time on the internet.

Hi! The thing is, I'm just tired of crying and wishing. I've had multiple attempts before with hanging, OD and cutting my veins. I feel like such a pussy. I wish I had no reservations or guilt

 

[darksideofthebright]

The same thing happens to me too, and I totally feel you. I am so sorry you are experiencing so much pain and you totally don't deserve this at all. For me, it is important to put myself and my interests forward; and I try to look at what I haven't been able to do (like getting my affairs in order) and do them while waiting for the "right" moment.

I know it is cliche, but when it felt like the right time, I knew. The only reason why I am still here is because I failed my past attempts. Anyhow, I wish you all the best and hope you can find the peace you need and deserve.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

The same thing happens to me too, and I totally feel you. I am so sorry you are experiencing so much pain and you totally don't deserve this at all. For me, it is important to put myself and my interests forward; and I try to look at what I haven't been able to do (like getting my affairs in order) and do them while waiting for the "right" moment.

I know it is cliche, but when it felt like the right time, I knew. The only reason why I am still here is because I failed my past attempts. Anyhow, I wish you all the best and hope you can find the peace you need and deserve.

Thanks! I feel like for me, the best moments for me with no reservation is when I get angry. I'm just pathetic. I'll just carve my body even more until the day comes

 

[Symbiote]

I have shitty weeks, and I have good hours. Happiness or being normal is just a fleeting thought. I let love in, it fucks me. I don't let love in, I'm an asshole. I become a wall, I'm cold-hearted. I let myself be vulnerable, I'm weak. I can't connect with people and I realized over time that this isn't my world. Not allowed to breathe the same air or walk the same path. This is not my time, it's theirs and I'm wasting it.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Thanks! I feel like for me, the best moments for me with no reservation is when I get angry. I'm just pathetic. I'll just carve my body even more until the day comes

I can't tell you what you are because you know yourself best. But in the mean time, I genuinely hope you can find some peace that you deserve. If you ever need to talk or vent, I'm all ear, along with many others.