SuicideBoys93
I am the lord of loneliness.
- Feb 10, 2020
- 324
Have not been around in a while. Decided I stop by and wish everyone well. For those who do not recognize me. I am suffering from slew of illnesses, depression, anxiety, and insomnia to be my heavy hitters. While battling and contemplating what to do I purchased SN and began starting to gather all the necessities I needed to leave this world. In the midst of debating I found out my ex-wife who I had be in a relationship for seven years cheated on me with a few different men. I immediately knew my time had come. The only person I viewed as my best-friend stabbed me in the back. After attempting to smooth things over about eight months it dawned on me that my mental health would not improve in the relationship. I was an idiot for waiting soooo long to leave. Her narcissistic ways trapped me in the fear of starting over and being alone. It's been over a year now that I have left my ex-wife. When I moved back closer to family, my mindset changed. I hopped on anti-depressants and decided to give life another shot after building up the courage to leave the toxic marriage. Fast-forward to today, I'm glad I'm still here, and I'm glad I can type this post. The medication isn't a life a saver, but helps lower the strength of my symptoms. I still have my days where I fall and can feel myself teetering on the brink of severe depression that renders me useless for weeks on end. I can't tell anyone how to manage their feeling. I don't think it's my place to do so, and I'm still working on who I want to be in life. I can tell you, that I'm glad to be alive, and that I'm glad I get to write you this post. The irony of wishing you all well on a suicide forum is something that I'm aware of, but this place gave me an outlet when I was at my worst. I really hope you all continue to fight whatever it is you're battling, and understand you're worth it in life. (Cliche or not. It's true) Much love everyone. 
