It came in the mail today

[hummmingbird]

And I'm scared. I want to get rid of it but it brings me so much comfort. I'm scared of how inconsolable I can be when I am on my own. Is that something non-suicidal people struggle with too, or am I just "not loving myself enough" or whatever. I always wonder if I am not doing enough to recover. These negative feelings are fucking addictive though, I don't know how to stop my mind from wanting to leave. One good thing is that this state I'm in keeps me eternally grateful for the things I DO have, the little moments almost make it wort it.

 

[Manaaja]

A "ticket" to "bus"? I hope it can make you feel better. Maybe you try too hard, it's okay to relax sometimes. I know self-hating can be hard to get rid of. It's good to focus on small things sometimes. I hope some day positive thoughts will overcome negative whether here or in the hereafter.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Don't take it until/unless you're absolutely certain you want to die.

 

[hummmingbird]

Don't take it until/unless you're absolutely certain you want to die.

I'm more than 100% certain I want to die