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PNKPNDA

PNKPNDA

Member
Mar 8, 2020
70
in the past week alone I have quit my part time job, given up volunteering, cheated on my bf with some random i met in spoons lol then broke up with him (without telling him about the cheating I KNOW I AM A BAD PERSON OK) and just generally ignoring all my responsibilities.
I quit the first two things to 'focus on my degree' but this past week I have actually fallen behind with my work and got pissed up on a thurs despite that very morning having the mental health team tell me I need to sort out my alcohol and drug issue (lol i strongly disagree as i didnt drink for over a month and as for drugs its even longer)

i was speaking to my sister and she said its not self destruction more like self discovery and right now i feel happy with my choices (minus the cheating obvs i am guilty af) but idk how things will pan out- if i dont focus on uni then this has all been for nothing idk i just needed to let this all out ok thx

(ps the person i slept with was an amazing shag too and NOT the main reason for me breaking up with my bf)
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
Do you regret losing any of those things you gave up on? Do you think you're going to miss your job, volunteering or your boyfriend. If you don't, it's not self-destruction, it's just you taking the garbage out of your life.
 
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PNKPNDA

PNKPNDA

Member
Mar 8, 2020
70
Do you regret losing any of those things you gave up on? Do you think you're going to miss your job, volunteering or your boyfriend. If you don't, it's not self-destruction, it's just you taking the garbage out of your life.

i will miss my boyfriend a bit just bcos hes been apart of my life for 3yrs but no i wont miss any of that lol
 
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
i will miss my boyfriend a bit just bcos hes been apart of my life for 3yrs
That is understandable, but I guess that depends on whether you're more upset or relieved that he isn't going to be a part of your life anymore. If the fact you two broke up has nothing to do with your cheating, it seems like there was a reason for you to do what you've done.
but no i wont miss any of that lol
If you have zero regrets about quitting your job, you aren't on a verge of ending up homeless and don't have 3 kids to feed and a mortgage to pay, then yay you for quitting, well done, I'm proud of you! I see zero self-destruction here.
 
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netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
I don't find this to be self-destructive at all. You don't owe nothing to your ex, try not to blame yourself for something you wanted and needed to do.
 
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drwt

drwt

Member
Dec 1, 2020
58
I don't know why people keep trying to tell themselves that cheating is alright. You're a coward for not doing it the right way and breaking up beforehand. Hurting someone's feelings because "Yeah I'm a power woman I deserve this!!" is selfish and immature.
It all sounds like self-destructive/bipolar behavior to me and I believe you talked to your sister and here about it because you know it and want to fool yourself that it wasn't.
 
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N

netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
I don't know why people keep trying to tell themselves that cheating is alright. You're a coward for not doing it the right way and breaking up beforehand. Hurting someone's feelings because "Yeah I'm a power woman I deserve this!!" is selfish and immature.
It all sounds like self-destructive/bipolar behavior to me and I believe you talked to your sister and here about it because you know it and want to fool yourself that it wasn't.
Brakig up bad relationshiop is much better, than staying it, in any possible variant. And if cheating looks like it drove that desigion, i don't find it self-destructive. Ya, cheating and keeping a relationship is destructive for everyone. And sacrificing life for someone's eventual feelings and moral codes of strangers is so stupid.
 
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PNKPNDA

PNKPNDA

Member
Mar 8, 2020
70
I don't know why people keep trying to tell themselves that cheating is alright. You're a coward for not doing it the right way and breaking up beforehand. Hurting someone's feelings because "Yeah I'm a power woman I deserve this!!" is selfish and immature.
It all sounds like self-destructive/bipolar behavior to me and I believe you talked to your sister and here about it because you know it and want to fool yourself that it wasn't.

In NO way shape or form did I intentionally hurt his feelings because of whatever power woman bs you are talking about haha - I have admitted I hate myself for it and it is wrong but my main points also related to my job and other things. I was not going to end a 3 yr relationships over the phone drunkenly before i sleep with someone else am I? NONE of this cheating stuff was planned but to say I think im a power woman for it is just weird and wrong, also when did I say I thought cheating was alright? odd reply x
 
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