Help Is my relationship doomed?

[likeblueberries]

My girlfriend and I had the most intense argument we've had so far just a week ago. I can't lie; I'm obviously a deeply flawed human being. Yet, everyday I feel more like I simply can not make her happy and it's no fault of my own anymore. Basically, we were supposed to go on a date after our classes, but she kept getting mad at me for small miscommunications and misinterpretations:
First, she thought I didn't care about us possibly having to move the date to the day after because I said "I can't do anything about it".

Then, I mentioned Tinder. I obviously don't use Tinder or any dating app but we were talking about technology stuff and the fact I mentioned Tinder made her upset.

At last, I didn't hold her hand for a moment and was more quiet than usual after she didn't agree on going to the store to get something to drink. I didn't get angry or really do anything aggressive, I honestly just forgot to grab her hand because I just wanted us to get where we were going quicker.

All of these things angered her, but the last one was the stroke that broke the camel's back and led to her even yelling in public for a couple seconds. After that, I told her we were not going on a date anymore because her attitude was extremely negative. This made her cry and she went home still crying.

We made up rather quickly but, only two days after, another miscommunication led to her getting mad. We said goodbye to each other after class and I told her I'd go home to do some things. She thought I implied I was coming back so she got annoyed and the fact I didn't reply fast just made things worse for her. When we met up again, she told me she couldn't have kids with me because then I wouldn't pay any attention to her.

At this point, I don't really know what to think, obviously I'm not perfect but I do not think this is the way you'd normally treat your partner. If you're wondering whether I've ever yelled at her, beat her, abused her, etc, the answer is no. Obviously I haven't cheated either. I simply don't have any explanation for this aside from "she's tired of me and doesn't care about me anymore". I directly told her we could end things but she didn't even consider it and kept on saying she just overreacted and didn't mean any of this.

Frankly, I'm tired. It's not that I want to sleep around or be treated like a hurt puppy but this just doesn't seem to be working anymore. Do you guys think she genuinely loves me? Is staying worth it? She does say I'm good, I'm handsome, I'm the man she wants for the rest of her life, but then she treats me like she's trying to get me to swing at her lol. Anyways, thanks for reading

 

[Dreamwalker]

Only you can decide what feels like real love or not; to me this sounds like mental illness (said with care). If you can approach that idea gently, and try to communicate around it to where you're not having those negative interactions, I think that might help. Otherwise, for your sake, you might have to move on.

I hope it works out !! <3

 

[Matchaaa]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. I just feel that when a relationship becomes very emotionally draining, sometimes it may mean that the two people involved might have different needs, personalities, or ways of interacting. That doesn't necessarily mean anyone is at fault. I think open and honest communication can really help in situations like this. I truly hope you're able to find a way to navigate things that feels right for you and brings you some peace and clarity.
If you've already tried communicating with each other and it hasn't really helped, and it still feels difficult to handle everyday misunderstandings gently, then perhaps sometimes letting go peacefully could also be a way for both people to keep their dignity and find some space to move forward.
I truly hope that whatever happens next, you're able to listen to your own heart and make a calm, thoughtful decision rather than one made in the heat of the moment. No matter what you decide, I wish you the best.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

At this point, I don't really know what to think, obviously I'm not perfect but I do not think this is the way you'd normally treat your partner.

I agree. I don't think that's a good way to treat a partner. I think she's mistreating you.

I dated a girl in which we had lots of communication issues because she was a little bit on the spectrum (I think) but also because I was very insecure about being criticized in the relationship. I think the solution that worked best for us was just to tell her to focus on the behavior you want to see changed, rather than the thing you think I did wrong. So instead of blaming or anger, people have to put their complaints into a more constructive form of "I wish you'd do X more" or "I wish you wouldn't do Y."

As for her back and forth behavior… it's giving me a bit of flashbacks to a relationship I had with a girl with BPD. We used to fight really often and I genuinely believed I was making her life worse. But whenever I talked about ending things she'd say she was just overreacting and back down. I think that's a really hard position to be in.

I am sorry you're in this situation man, I hope you can figure something out. It sounds like you're a considerate boyfriend, and I'm sure there's some good in the relationship mixed with the bad. If it can be saved I hope you can save it, but if it can't, I hope you find the strength to leave.