RosebyAnyName
Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
- Nov 9, 2023
- 425
Do you think a person's mental suffering is always in some way earned or a result of one's own actions?
A lot of suffering is caused by a person's own actions. People are abused by their spouse because they got into a relationship and didn't see warning signs, people are abused because they put themselves in a position of danger. People go to prison for their crimes, and the point of the punishment is suffering, therefore is the suffering they experience in prison deserved or not (even if its disproportionate, like being abused by other inmates in prison)? Even if coming from an abusive family is not a person's fault, the way that person unconsciously imitates that abuse throughout their relationships is always considered their own fault, and the negative consequences are a direct result of those actions. People who imitate those abusive dynamics tend to be socially isolated, ostracized, and can even become the target for other abusers, and is that not deserved? Or, are they a victim of circumstances? Is there even such a thing as being "a victim of circumstance", or are people always in control of their actions? This is also in contrast to people who came from abusive backgrounds and did not become abusive themselves. It's through hard work that these people generally live better lives, therefore not putting in the work (or not even realizing there is work to do) and continuing to harm people means that the person deserves their isolation, just as how people are within their right to leave a relationship if it hurts them. Just as people are kind to people who are kind back, people are mean to people who are mean back, and its considered deserved.
A lot of stuff in the healing sphere is also about taking responsibility for oneself, yet also accepting that the past was not your fault. Isn't this arbitrary? When do we decide what is and is not a result of a person's actions? People will similarly get blamed and punished for severe enough crimes regardless of if they "knew" or not, because the harm caused to others is still the same. It's generous to assume that people who do bad things just don't know how to be better, what about the people who knew full well what they were doing, but still suffer and regret it? Is the consequences they face not still earned regardless of if they reject their past self and actions?
On the other hand, you have the just world fallacy, ie. the false belief that the world itself operates under its own moral system. "Good guys get rewarded, bad guys get punished," etc. This is obviously incorrect, and we see absolutely awful people living great lives, along with much better people living terrible lives.
A lot of suffering is caused by a person's own actions. People are abused by their spouse because they got into a relationship and didn't see warning signs, people are abused because they put themselves in a position of danger. People go to prison for their crimes, and the point of the punishment is suffering, therefore is the suffering they experience in prison deserved or not (even if its disproportionate, like being abused by other inmates in prison)? Even if coming from an abusive family is not a person's fault, the way that person unconsciously imitates that abuse throughout their relationships is always considered their own fault, and the negative consequences are a direct result of those actions. People who imitate those abusive dynamics tend to be socially isolated, ostracized, and can even become the target for other abusers, and is that not deserved? Or, are they a victim of circumstances? Is there even such a thing as being "a victim of circumstance", or are people always in control of their actions? This is also in contrast to people who came from abusive backgrounds and did not become abusive themselves. It's through hard work that these people generally live better lives, therefore not putting in the work (or not even realizing there is work to do) and continuing to harm people means that the person deserves their isolation, just as how people are within their right to leave a relationship if it hurts them. Just as people are kind to people who are kind back, people are mean to people who are mean back, and its considered deserved.
A lot of stuff in the healing sphere is also about taking responsibility for oneself, yet also accepting that the past was not your fault. Isn't this arbitrary? When do we decide what is and is not a result of a person's actions? People will similarly get blamed and punished for severe enough crimes regardless of if they "knew" or not, because the harm caused to others is still the same. It's generous to assume that people who do bad things just don't know how to be better, what about the people who knew full well what they were doing, but still suffer and regret it? Is the consequences they face not still earned regardless of if they reject their past self and actions?
On the other hand, you have the just world fallacy, ie. the false belief that the world itself operates under its own moral system. "Good guys get rewarded, bad guys get punished," etc. This is obviously incorrect, and we see absolutely awful people living great lives, along with much better people living terrible lives.
