Is it worth burdening loved ones? I don't know where to start.

[PAfb_640]

Hi everyone.

I feel like I really need help. Therapy is too expensive for me and the first session I went to, the therapist told me to find a someone to talk to. But I don't have anyone. I don't trust my parents and I don't want to burden those I do trust with the fact that I am on the verge of CTB. I'm glad SS exists so I can share my thoughts with you guys. But in the end, I still don't have friends. Any tips on where to start?

Telling them I've been on SS is probably not a good idea. I don't see myself quitting Social Media anytime soon - I can't even quit browsing a suicide forum. No idea on how to make friends. I don't have my own income, still in university.

 

[guayabas]

i think the biggest thing to worry about telling your friends, is whether or not their possible lack of response is gonna make you feel worse. I told everyone and basically got a non reaction. SaSu is the only place I've felt like anyone gives af, and I really thought my friends were gonna care. I'm not saying you'll have the same response from your friends, but the possibility is something to keep in mind before you make the decision. I hope you get the support you need one way or another
oh sorry i just realized you said you didn't have friends and were talking about telling ppl you trust. who are the ppl you trust if not friends or parents?

 

[Viranamari]

That's a very difficult situation to be in. When my loved ones found out the truth, there was a lot of denying. In the end, I learnt that venting to them for me at least wasn't a good idea. But I had a therapist and doctors to talk to so I can't imagine what it's like for you. I suggest that even if you were to make any friends, wait to be close to them before venting or else they'd just run away. SS is a good place to start since there are many people here like you. Personally, other than doctors or my therapist, I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. Also, if you don't trust your parents or don't have any friends, I wonder who are these people you trust. I suggest venting to them. Since you trust them, it's very unlikely that they'd run away. Either way, I hope you get the support you need.

 

[guayabas]

do be careful how much you tell your doctors/therapist though. Unless you want hospitalization (which some ppl do) letting them know you have a plan in place is not a good idea. And often mentioning that can derail your entire session. I've made that mistake during therapy before and then didn't get to talk about anything that was making me wanna ctb bc we had to spend the whole session making a safety plan

 

[PAfb_640]

I have a cousin that I'm close with. She's my age and my most trusted family member. But I don't want to damage the relationship. I don't know how open-minded she is when it comes to topics like these.

 

[guayabas]

I have a cousin that I'm close with. She's my age and my most trusted family member. But I don't want to damage the relationship. I don't know how open-minded she is when it comes to topics like these.

I personally think, if she's the only person you trust, and you don't know how she feels about these topics, it makes sense not to confide in her. I think it's worth it not to risk losing the one person you socialize with irl

It sounds like you're leaning toward not talking to your cousin about this stuff anyways but some things to consider if you're on the fence. does she show empathy/check in on you? if she asks how you're doing is it awkward if you say anything other than fine/good? does she confide in you about anything emotional going on in her own life? It's ok if she doesn't, it's just an indication that she's a different kind of friend (I think it's ok to call a cousin you're close to a friend). she's the kind of friend you have fun with and helps you forget the problems going on in your life. Those kinds of friends are still important, they're just likely not the kind of friend you can talk to about anything serious, especially wanting to ctb

if she is supportive in more than surface level ways, and you do want to talk to her about it, there may be a way to kind of gauge how she feels about the topic first by bringing it up in a way that's not related to you specifically and seeing how she reacts. Maybe talk about someone else you know or a celebrity who's struggling with depression

I do agree with your therapist that it helps to have someone to talk to about these things, you just might have to rely on internet friends/forums for that, and that's perfectly acceptable. I know it's not as good as having an irl friend who understands but you're not alone. and it's amazing that you're taking steps towards recovery

 

[Mirrory Me]

The therapist told you to go talk someone else? Omg...

Well... Here we are if you need us. x)

 

[guayabas]

The therapist told you to go talk someone else? Omg...

Well... Here we are if you need us. x)

therapy is typically only 1 hour a week and is no replacement for friendship so encouraging their clients to reach out to other ppl is common

 

[Mirrory Me]

therapy is typically only 1 hour a week and is no replacement for friendship so encouraging their clients to reach out to other ppl is common

Silly of me... Humans tend to suffer if they spent too much time isolated.

A true friendship is an experience in which you have to be vunerable sometimes (it's ok).

Btw- if you are curious about what kind relationships you are atracting into your life, watch this:

 

[Sulyya]

When people say they opened up to friends or family and go no help, I kinda identify with both sides... Personally the times someone irl told me about certain mental issues I just didn't know what to do at all. Never broke off with them but was no help other than someone to spend time with and not be judgemental.

 

[Ultracheese]

Is there a way you can ask your cousin an indirect question about a topic related to suicide so you can get a sense of her feelings on topics like these without letting her know you're suicidal?

 

[QiTianDaSheng]

do be careful how much you tell your doctors/therapist though. Unless you want hospitalization (which some ppl do) letting them know you have a plan in place is not a good idea. And often mentioning that can derail your entire session. I've made that mistake during therapy before and then didn't get to talk about anything that was making me wanna ctb bc we had to spend the whole session making a safety plan

God damn litigious bullshit society. What total fucking shit.

Also, I confided in a good friend's widow and pretty sure she was rattling my cage for kicks. Alledgedly trying to help me, but getting off a phone call with her was always a monthly low point. Radiating toxicity at me.
She did offer some charitable solutions though, but I suspect they would have been damn unhealthy.

Tldr - some people will exploit your weakness too.

 

[Valky]

Probably best to find like minded people then. Any 'normal' person would just call medical staff on you if you don't know them for that long and you talk about this. Find someone who understands, who struggles too. They will not be scared to talk to you about it.