Help Is it time to give up?

[nattns]

Let me give you some context. My name is Natt, I am 21 years old, and I suffer from social anxiety and depression. I have spent my whole life trying to heal, but I cannot take it anymore.

I have tried changing my lifestyle habits such as going to the gym, eating healthy, keeping a good sleep schedule, brushing my teeth, showering daily, talking about my mental health issues with my family, going to therapy, trying to make new friends,... but nothing works. I always end up at the same starting point, isolated in my room with no energy to do anything.

After 21 years of trying to "heal" and seeing how everyone around me is already building their families and their lives while I can barely leave my room, I now ask myself: is there anything left to try or is it time to CTB?
Is it really worth living this way?
Please tell me if there is something I am ignoring that could help me, because lately I do not have much hope.

 

[2percent]

It's good that you seem to have been keeping active. It's not a silver bullet but it can help. Have you tried medications, and if so, which? Regarding therapy, what modalities and methods have you tried, and what do you find are the most 'sticky' thoughts in your mind when you're feeling poorly?

 

[whywere]

Well, this comes from a 69-year-old person, 48 years your senior. I mention the prior as part of my answer, which is this: I am 100% pro-choice, HOWEVER, you have so much to experience yet. Along with this is simple facts like a wonderfully beautiful sun rise and sun set.

A tropical breeze flowing over your body with the warm sun adding to the wonderful experience. Skiing down a slope in winter with Jack Frost nipping your skin and the fresh powder swirling around you.

The joy of all the family here on SaSu, where we are all together in this and how the warmth and kindness go way beyond just a computer screen and effects one's heart, mind and soul.

Just imagine the entire sensory package of meeting new people, cultures and ideas intertwined with savory food and drink.

You have 48 years on me to experience, enjoy and above and beyond everything new friendships, like the family on here.

Yep, I have massive depression, and there are days that it really sucks big time, HOWEVER, the joy that I give and receive from others just in itself is such really good medicine for my depression.

I truly care about you and want the very best for you always. Yes, it is a fight, BUT it is a fight worth fighting. Without you here the family would not be the same.

Hugs, loving thoughts and you are a beautiful person!

Walter

 

[unluckysadness]

Hi Natt, I feel you because I suffer from severe social anxiety / agoraphobia & many more shitty things since I was 16. I'm 43 now and things have become worse the 5 last years (with physical disability now). You're still very young. I'm far older than you (I could be your father...) but this is my advice : let yourself time to think about CBT. There's no hurry. In my time (late 90's), people didn't talk about mental illness, but now things have changed and that's a good thing. My life was ruined because nobody gave me meds or even psychiatrist care. It was another time. Everyone around me said "it's just anxiety, nothing important". But it was not my fault, it's something in the brain that don't work properly. I know these words won't help you in your situation, but I think that in the future, there will surely be medical progress with AI or something like that. For me it's too late, but there's maybe hope for you. I wish you the best

 

[-Link-]

First thing that comes to mind: Is anything being overlooked. Is this "just" depression and social anxiety? Or could there be something else going on? eg. ADHD, PTSD, autism spectrum, personality disorder (avoidant, borderline, etc.).

Also, physical health conditions as possible contributing factors: Blood tests to screen for thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, blood sugar, inflammation, etc. Autoimmune conditions, hormonal imbalances, sleep apnea, chronic infections, post-viral issues (eg. long COVID) as other possible factors.

going to therapy

I'd look at the type and quality of therapy. There is structured (eg. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy), and then there is the more generalized therapy (talk therapy). Duration and frequency will be a factor. Consistent and long-term will have more potential than sporadic and short-term.

Also, group therapy, or one-on-one, or both. And whether the therapy is goal-oriented (specific direction/goals), or if it's more support-oriented (open-ended). Also a factor is the credentials of the practitioner and what areas, if any, they specialize in.

Any past medication trials, or any current medications?

If first-line treatments aren't working, there may be second-line or third-line options available. For instance, with treatment-resistant depression, there is rTMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation), DBS (deep brain stimulation), ECT (electroconvulsive therapy), Ketamine, for example. (Research thoroughly before engaging any treatments like these.)

going to the gym, eating healthy, keeping a good sleep schedule, brushing my teeth, showering daily, talking about my mental health issues with my family,

These are brilliantly good to keep up with.

It sounds like your depression and anxiety are pretty significant, so I'm thinking the therapy and medication angles are going to be pretty important in your situation, in addition to the lifestyle habits.

Therapy programs (CBT, DBT, ACT, etc.) are meant to teach patients various coping techniques to use in their day-to-day lives. Practice and persistence are important because what you're actually doing is reconditioning (rewiring) your brain. By using these techniques, you're literally making physical changes in your brain that go towards alleviating symptoms.

The lifestyle habits are brilliant. But if your situation is as significant as it sounds, then I would also look at long-term, goal-oriented, professionally-guided treatment -- both one-on-one and group. As intensive (frequent) as you can.

I know accessibility is a barrier for a lot of people. If you want to do a treatment that's not available in your area (or maybe there's a long wait list), you could Google for self-guided programs for CBT, DBT, or ACT (maybe equal preference to CBT/DBT, with ACT as a secondary option). Not as ideal as professionally-guided programs and requires more discipline and willpower, but maybe is better than nothing. ChatGPT (or its other AI ilk) could also help with this, depending on its memory capacity.

I have spent my whole life trying to heal

This is resilience.

And you mention you've been doing therapy, the lifestyle changes, opening up to family about what's going on, trying to make friends... This takes an incredible amount of strength, and I hope you can see that in yourself.

You've hit a wall of exhaustion. I'm guessing most people, if they were in your position, would experience the same.

The fact that you're asking this question right now suggests there's an appreciable part of you that isn't ready to give up. Even if you can't feel it right now, maybe you can hold onto that and use it to allow for the idea that you still have more fight in you.

You're a fighter -- you've proven that much. Every fighter needs a rest. It's OK to take a rest.

I'm wishing you well as can be and am sending you strength and good vibes in finding your way through this.