Intrusive thoughts suck

[citrusrope]

I feel like I can't ever just have a moment of peace ever.

Nice weather outside? My brain keeps reminding myself of my depression, so I can't enjoy it.
Feeling like I might just be getting better? Immediate rush of anxiety and thoughts about how things are going to go wrong soon.
I watch something that managed to be amusing or funny? My laugh kind of dies off and it's replaced with a weird sense of hopelessness because my brain gets reminded again of my fucking depression.

It's like there's an annoying ass fucking alarm clock reminder that's just set to go off anytime I feel a shred of positivity. I keep trying to ignore that inner voice/thoughts but it's so persistent and frequent that I'm starting to seriously lose my marbles. Like someone is constantly sitting next to me and jabbing me in the side 24/7. Fuck!! It's SO annoying and aggravating! The only time I get some peace is when I'm finally asleep. Otherwise... these thoughts and feelings are constant and lingering in the back forever. it ruins everything.

 

[CravingPeace]

Right there with you. I wish life was easier for us.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

b

I feel like I can't ever just have a moment of peace ever.

Nice weather outside? My brain keeps reminding myself of my depression, so I can't enjoy it.
Feeling like I might just be getting better? Immediate rush of anxiety and thoughts about how things are going to go wrong soon.
I watch something that managed to be amusing or funny? My laugh kind of dies off and it's replaced with a weird sense of hopelessness because my brain gets reminded again of my fucking depression.

It's like there's an annoying ass fucking alarm clock reminder that's just set to go off anytime I feel a shred of positivity. I keep trying to ignore that inner voice/thoughts but it's so persistent and frequent that I'm starting to seriously lose my marbles. Like someone is constantly sitting next to me and jabbing me in the side 24/7. Fuck!! It's SO annoying and aggravating! The only time I get some peace is when I'm finally asleep. Otherwise... these thoughts and feelings are constant and lingering in the back forever. it ruins everything.

huge relate op. everytime something almost good happens, it's dragged down. shits not easy at all. sending you a hug

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, it sounds like you've suffered a lot, I understand finding it torturous to exist. But anyway I wish you the best.