Venting Internet addiction ruined my life

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm surprised by how successful people from older generations are, and how much they were able to accomplish at a younger age (not just financially because the economy was better, but intellectually and through hard work).

But not me. I was labelled "gifted" but could barely concentrate on my own thoughts, and now I can't even read a book without my mind going blank. My parents let me rot in front of the computer (yet also made fun of me for being on the computer all the time) and it destroyed my ability to think. If I were born in the current generation, I probably would have been an iPad kid. I'm not even *that* addicted compared to some people, but it was enough of an addiction at such a young age that I'm pretty sure my brain has been rewired to never experience authentic motivation ever again.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm stupid. I can't motivate myself to do anything, I'm not able to concentrate on anything, I can't improve at anything, I just feel myself getting dumber and dumber. My brain is fried from childhood addiction, and I just can't stop being addicted. Nothing really helps in the long run, my brain can't function without internet dopamine. The only thing my brain can do is consume quick-form content. Without the internet I'll just stare at a wall for hours. Even the few times where I drag myself away from the internet, thinking it might help, I still feel so far behind everyone else mentally (well, everyone that isn't also internet addicted) that I can't help but think: "it's hopeless anyways, I'm too late to try and quit" and then I go back to sitting in front of the computer because nothing else makes me happy. Nothing is worth striving towards because it's all impossible for my mush brain.

I always need more stimulation to feel anything, yet I'm also always tired and numb and I just want to sleep all the time.

 

[Jollysmoose]

I'm in the same situation, bro. It feels like I've wasted my childhood and never learned how to achieve any goals. I'm just going with the flow and don't know what I want. At one point, I thought it was depression, but antidepressants didn't help at all.

What are you going to do about it?

 

[yowai]

I'm similar and currently can't focus on my usual stuff because I keep refreshing certain pages looking for something new to appear or getting notifications lol. I used to be able to read books and now on my last try I finished 3 pages and picked up my stupid phone again. I hate this reality and having so many distractions around, content made to be addictive, so that we come back and get them views for add revenue etc. Also I have an iphone and screen time downtimes don't work because you can just switch it off in a second lol.

 

[LostLily]

Same

I'm surprised by how successful people from older generations are, and how much they were able to accomplish at a younger age (not just financially because the economy was better, but intellectually and through hard work).

But not me. I was labelled "gifted" but could barely concentrate on my own thoughts, and now I can't even read a book without my mind going blank. My parents let me rot in front of the computer (yet also made fun of me for being on the computer all the time) and it destroyed my ability to think. If I were born in the current generation, I probably would have been an iPad kid. I'm not even *that* addicted compared to some people, but it was enough of an addiction at such a young age that I'm pretty sure my brain has been rewired to never experience authentic motivation ever again.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm stupid. I can't motivate myself to do anything, I'm not able to concentrate on anything, I can't improve at anything, I just feel myself getting dumber and dumber. My brain is fried from childhood addiction, and I just can't stop being addicted. Nothing really helps in the long run, my brain can't function without internet dopamine. The only thing my brain can do is consume quick-form content. Without the internet I'll just stare at a wall for hours. Even the few times where I drag myself away from the internet, thinking it might help, I still feel so far behind everyone else mentally (well, everyone that isn't also internet addicted) that I can't help but think: "it's hopeless anyways, I'm too late to try and quit" and then I go back to sitting in front of the computer because nothing else makes me happy. Nothing is worth striving towards because it's all impossible for my mush brain.

I always need more stimulation to feel anything, yet I'm also always tired and numb and I just want to sleep all the time.

same the the internet has ruined my attention span and I can't focus on anything

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm similar and currently can't focus on my usual stuff because I keep refreshing certain pages looking for something new to appear or getting notifications lol. I used to be able to read books and now on my last try I finished 3 pages and picked up my stupid phone again. I hate this reality and having so many distractions around, content made to be addictive, so that we come back and get them views for add revenue etc. Also I have an iphone and screen time downtimes don't work because you can just switch it off in a second lol.

Accurate.

I'm in the same situation, bro. It feels like I've wasted my childhood and never learned how to achieve any goals. I'm just going with the flow and don't know what I want. At one point, I thought it was depression, but antidepressants didn't help at all.

What are you going to do about it?

Some things work, but it's a struggle and 100% recovery feels hopeless but I still want to try pushing through it for the time being.

I use downtime and website blocking apps, what I found worked is to use two different blocking apps at the same time. I will switch off one app if I want to circumvent any blocking, however turns out I'm too lazy to switch off the same restriction twice in two different apps, so it actually works for me to use two.

I also use some of the resources in the recovery section for substance use, although those resources focus on physical substance addictions and not other types of addiction so they're only somewhat useful.

The hardest thing that I'm still struggling with is know what to do with myself outside of the internet, I really have nothing better or more engaging in my life other than doomscrolling. I have some hobbies, but I can't spend, for example, ten hours every day playing piano, even the professional pianists don't do that. I like playing piano but can't sit down for longer than 15 minutes a day or I lose focus. I don't have any close, meaningful personal relationship, and my experience is that reaching out to others just leads to stress and disappointment, so that's a bust. Anything that requires even some level of brain activity like reading, playing an instrument, drawing, or other hobbies feel impossible because I just can't concentrate. I get frustrated, hate myself for having no brainpower, and then go back on the internet to calm down and avoid spiraling into self-hate from the realization of how limited my life has become because of addiction.

 

[Ichigo]

Take little baby steps. Try to spend atleast 5 minutes each day away from the computer, and see how that works .

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Take little baby steps. Try to spend atleast 5 minutes each day away from the computer, and see how that works .

What's the point if the damage is already done and irreversible?

It's not going to get better. Spending 5 minutes away from the internet means I'll just stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for five minutes. Spending an hour, a day, or a week away from the internet just means I'll stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for an hour, a day, or a week. At that point I might as well just spend the time on the internet and actually half enjoy the time instead of inevitably spiraling into my own self-hatred since it's not like I have anything else in my life.

 

[divinemistress36]

Im addicted to the internet. Spend like 12 hours a day on it for past 7 years

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

spent all my life addicted to TV yoututbe , sports , news, and other useless garbage. this is why i haven't worked on getting my suicide plan / method ready to go and defeating si etc or done anything.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Internet addiction ruined society. I have 18 years of experience with pre-web life and about 25 post. The comparison is night and day. The convenience and knowledge is obviously nice, but we paid the ultimate price.

 

[Ichigo]

What's the point if the damage is already done and irreversible?

It's not going to get better. Spending 5 minutes away from the internet means I'll just stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for five minutes. Spending an hour, a day, or a week away from the internet just means I'll stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for an hour, a day, or a week. At that point I might as well just spend the time on the internet and actually half enjoy the time instead of inevitably spiraling into my own self-hatred since it's not like I have anything else in my life.

I wrote that comment understanding that you probably wouldn't take my advice and that's okay. I understand why you dont believe me.

when you're so used to living a certain way, it seems almost impossible to change it up. You don't have to take my advice right now.

BUT if you're serious about getting better, than you need to start looking at what to do about it and how you're going to do it.

It's either you try to change or accept it. It's either take the leap or stay where you are.

And if you're already at rock bottom, what's the harm in trying?
You're not losing anything anyway, you already said you feel inferior to everyone.
It's never gonna be easy to start, but you can try to make it easier on yourself by taking small steps. It's hard, but you got to start somewhere. If 5 minute is too long, then take a 3 minute break. If that's too long then just take a 1 minute break.

 

[i love yoshi ^-^]

I'm surprised by how successful people from older generations are, and how much they were able to accomplish at a younger age (not just financially because the economy was better, but intellectually and through hard work).

But not me. I was labelled "gifted" but could barely concentrate on my own thoughts, and now I can't even read a book without my mind going blank. My parents let me rot in front of the computer (yet also made fun of me for being on the computer all the time) and it destroyed my ability to think. If I were born in the current generation, I probably would have been an iPad kid. I'm not even *that* addicted compared to some people, but it was enough of an addiction at such a young age that I'm pretty sure my brain has been rewired to never experience authentic motivation ever again.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm stupid. I can't motivate myself to do anything, I'm not able to concentrate on anything, I can't improve at anything, I just feel myself getting dumber and dumber. My brain is fried from childhood addiction, and I just can't stop being addicted. Nothing really helps in the long run, my brain can't function without internet dopamine. The only thing my brain can do is consume quick-form content. Without the internet I'll just stare at a wall for hours. Even the few times where I drag myself away from the internet, thinking it might help, I still feel so far behind everyone else mentally (well, everyone that isn't also internet addicted) that I can't help but think: "it's hopeless anyways, I'm too late to try and quit" and then I go back to sitting in front of the computer because nothing else makes me happy. Nothing is worth striving towards because it's all impossible for my mush brain.

I always need more stimulation to feel anything, yet I'm also always tired and numb and I just want to sleep all the time.

hm. have you considered going with a check-up on ADHD? your tiredness may come from being too overwhelmed, i know this is the case for me, i can feel very sleepy but i get in the flow and magically i don't feel so sleepy anymroe.

this used to haunt my life, but to a lesser degree now. i think that the addictive nature of social media is mostly extrinsic. short form content provides you a quick way to divert your attention to something aside from your stressors. with respect to drugs, they are addictive because they're substances that directly control the creation of dopamine, this is intrinsic. but i don't believe this is the case with technology, your brain only uses it as a shortcut to escape.

don't get me wrong - there's some habitual element in it as well, the more you use these apps and the more you doomscroll, the closer the connections in your brain to these habits become.

it can also perpetuate yourself - for example you might feel horrible after watching shorts for an hour, because you could've spent that time better, and yes you could. as contradictory as it might sounds, it might even be better to not feel bad about it, as otherwise you're adding another stressor to the pile of existing stress.

 

[Ichigo]

hm. have you considered going with a check-up on ADHD? your tiredness may come from being too overwhelmed, i know this is the case for me, i can feel very sleepy but i get in the flow and magically i don't feel so sleepy anymroe.

this used to haunt my life, but to a lesser degree now. i think that the addictive nature of social media is mostly extrinsic. short form content provides you a quick way to divert your attention to something aside from your stressors. with respect to drugs, they are addictive because they're substances that directly control the creation of dopamine, this is intrinsic. but i don't believe this is the case with technology, your brain only uses it as a shortcut to escape.

don't get me wrong - there's some habitual element in it as well, the more you use these apps and the more you doomscroll, the closer the connections in your brain to these habits become.

it can also perpetuate yourself - for example you might feel horrible after watching shorts for an hour, because you could've spent that time better, and yes you could. as contradictory as it might sounds, it might even be better to not feel bad about it, as otherwise you're adding another stressor to the pile of existing stress.

Oh I didn't even think of that, but you could be right. If he does has ADHD,and it's just undiagnosed, then he should get diagnosed and get medication for it. Medication helps you focus more if you have ADHD. But we don't know for sure. Also op said he liked playing piano but couldn't play for more than 15 minutes,but a 5-10 minute piano session still sounds like a good breakaway from the phone to me. Even if it's not that long, it's a good start.

 

[i love yoshi ^-^]

Oh I didn't even think of that, but you could be right. If he does has ADHD,and it's just undiagnosed, then he should get diagnosed and get medication for it. Medication helps you focus more if you have ADHD. But we don't know for sure. Also op said he liked playing piano but couldn't play for more than 15 minutes,but a 5-10 minute piano session sounds like a good breakaway from the phone to me. Even if it's not that long it could help get started, especially since it's something he enjoys.

that's true, ADHD is far from the only cause, and despite me having medication i still struggle with it because of anxiety/stress.

it's hard to analyze why you're doomscrolling when you're in the midst of it, your mind is actually focused. i think it would be helpful to try and sit down to do something, and when you get hit with a distraction of sorts, think about what distracted you. initially i found it was daydreaming for the most part, after i got my ADHD treated, i found that i'm too worried - i still don't know how to deal with this unfortunately.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

hm. have you considered going with a check-up on ADHD? your tiredness may come from being too overwhelmed, i know this is the case for me, i can feel very sleepy but i get in the flow and magically i don't feel so sleepy anymroe.

this used to haunt my life, but to a lesser degree now. i think that the addictive nature of social media is mostly extrinsic. short form content provides you a quick way to divert your attention to something aside from your stressors. with respect to drugs, they are addictive because they're substances that directly control the creation of dopamine, this is intrinsic. but i don't believe this is the case with technology, your brain only uses it as a shortcut to escape.

don't get me wrong - there's some habitual element in it as well, the more you use these apps and the more you doomscroll, the closer the connections in your brain to these habits become.

it can also perpetuate yourself - for example you might feel horrible after watching shorts for an hour, because you could've spent that time better, and yes you could. as contradictory as it might sounds, it might even be better to not feel bad about it, as otherwise you're adding another stressor to the pile of existing stress.

I've considered ADHD, however I never really had ADHD-like symptoms pre-internet use. I've heard internet addiction can sometimes manifest as ADHD-like symptoms while not actually being ADHD, I think that's the case for me.

I already know my biggest culprit; it's severe anxiety. I've had extreme anxiety since I was very young, even before I started using the internet. Sitting with myself and my thoughts means spiraling mentally. For me, internet use is an escape from anxiety. My only official clinical diagnosis is GAD, which I got when I was a teenager, and I feel it's accurate. I was once prescribed anxiety medication because of a panic attack, but didn't fill the prescription because I didn't believe it would help, I'm still skeptical about modern medicine. Why replace one addiction (internet addiction) with another (pills)? One of my older relatives was prescribed anxiety medication, but it doesn't seem to make a huge difference for them.

 

[Username1359751]

What's the point if the damage is already done and irreversible?

It's not going to get better. Spending 5 minutes away from the internet means I'll just stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for five minutes. Spending an hour, a day, or a week away from the internet just means I'll stare at a wall and remember how much I hate myself for an hour, a day, or a week. At that point I might as well just spend the time on the internet and actually half enjoy the time instead of inevitably spiraling into my own self-hatred since it's not like I have anything else in my life.

If you can train yourself to be like this, you can untrain yourself. Js
It's very much reversible, especially because yall are young. Wish I could offer a proper reply analyzing and breaking down habits and addictions in contrast to our emotions and daily lives, but I don't have the mental or physical fortitude. Good luck

 

[i love yoshi ^-^]

I've considered ADHD, however I never really had ADHD-like symptoms pre-internet use. I've heard internet addiction can sometimes manifest as ADHD-like symptoms while not actually being ADHD, I think that's the case for me.

I already know my biggest culprit; it's severe anxiety. I've had extreme anxiety since I was very young, even before I started using the internet. Sitting with myself and my thoughts means spiraling mentally. For me, internet use is an escape from anxiety. My only official clinical diagnosis is GAD, which I got when I was a teenager, and I feel it's accurate. I was once prescribed anxiety medication because of a panic attack, but didn't fill the prescription because I didn't believe it would help, I'm still skeptical about modern medicine. Why replace one addiction (internet addiction) with another (pills)? One of my older relatives was prescribed anxiety medication, but it doesn't seem to make a huge difference for them.

ah ok. i'm not a medical professional - i don't know if ADHD can be developed. this is something i had my whole life.

i think you're right here - the biggest culprit is indeed anxiety. this is a problem for me to this day, and i also use the internet as an escape.

when it comes to medication - when i first got medicated, i was very skeptical. but i'm glad i did. i have to take my meds for the rest of my life as it's just a temporary remedy. when it comes to anxiety, it might be solved eventually, but think about it in a shorter term - would you rather fuel your internet addiction which perpetuates your anxiety, or get dependent on a drug of sorts, where the exit point is getting rid of the drug instead of solving various stressors as is the case with internet addiction?

i'd say try it out more seriously. your brother might need a re-evaluation, either higher dosage or different medication. there's some conditions where people are immune to some medications. you'll never know until you try yourself, and you've got nothing to lose ^^

 

[mango-meridian]

Internet addiction ruined society. I have 18 years of experience with pre-web life and about 25 post. The comparison is night and day. The convenience and knowledge is obviously nice, but we paid the ultimate price.

I have been wondering about how differently people thought before the internet. Am I correct in assuming people were sharper, more focused, and had better attention spans and memories?

 

[Sunset Limited]

You can get rid of internet addiction. Remember, this is a learned and repetitive behavior. Your basic operating system is still there. It has been tested and evolved over millions of years. Your impulses and abilities are only under your addiction. What you need is to go back to your factory settings. Instead of the impossibility of getting rid of your addiction, believe in the power of your basic operating system.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

You can get rid of internet addiction. Remember, this is a learned and repetitive behavior. Your basic operating system is still there. It has been tested and evolved over millions of years. Your impulses and abilities are only under your addiction. What you need is to go back to your factory settings. Instead of the impossibility of getting rid of your addiction, believe in the power of your basic operating system.

Can't factory reset a computer with a corrupted hard drive. It might still function, but never in the same way.

If chronic weed or alcohol use as a teenager can rewire your brain permanently, then I'm sure other dopamine-overloading activities can as well. If you start an addiction / behavior as a teenager or younger then it haunts you for life. You can fight it, but addictions always come back and that's a well known feature of addictions. I will spend my entire life draining all of my energy fighting addiction when it could have been used for real hobbies and interests had I not gotten addicted in the first place. I'm frustrated that I made my own life so much more difficult without even realizing it, and that I had virtually no support systems in place to stop me.

 

[SufferingNSilence]

I have been wondering about how differently people thought before the internet. Am I correct in assuming people were sharper, more focused, and had better attention spans and memories?

Yes, you are correct in your assumptions....people def were all of those things. For example, at this point, I don't have not one phone # memorized in my head! Well we don't need to now bc its all being done for us with cell phones. I'm an early 80s baby, so I recall the times where there were no internet and cell phones for approx half of my life and then having both of them for the other half of my life. I look back and CANNOT BELIEVE how we would have at least, idk, say 25+ (landline only back then) phone numbers just MEMORIZED in our heads!--like without even trying to memorize! lol

There are SO MANY differences. Yeah "Im on the internet bc its kinda just what people do now". ...But I really don't like it so much and wish it would've NEVER came about. I could go on and onnnn with all the things its affected.

**The HUGE way it has affected us as a society is the way that the "internet/social media/etc"...they have in SO MANY WAYS REPLACED how we as humans perceive life and basically in the way that we receive "instant gratifications"(ie how our brain's pleasure zones are stimulated throughout our daily living). Before the internet came along, for sooooo many years, humans got those instant gratifications through more genuine experiences and they just came about in so many diff ways in our everyday lives! We used to meet up with our family/friends pretty much to hang out, we would make jokes, be silly and just genuinely laugh together!..Or we would be on the phone(landline) talking for hours to family members or friends. Or on the otherhand, if you were having a bad day back then, you actually had a friend "in person" to console you...it wasn't being done through a screen of some sort. There were just so many more ways that humans connected on so much more of deeper levels prior to the "internet coming along".

We as humans still "connect", but its just not no where near "as deep" as how it was for so many years prior to the internet. Everything is just so "fast" now also. It's like now these days, everyone has to "make time" or practically make a damn appointment to visit fam/friends!. "We are wired for fellow human connections though"! ....only now, with it not being the way "it used to be" ...there's no wonder people are addicted to the internet. They're 'craving' what we are designed to have since the beginning of time! ...only now, we get it in "smaller bits" via the internet, social media, texting and alike.

For example, I remember reading how say with every "like" that someone gets on their FB post, that 'like' sends a tiny shot of dopamine to the brain. Then that's why you see some people who posted something, but that pic may not have got any likes, then they will turn around and post another pic(hoping its a better one) so they can hopefully receive those "likes" on the next photo/or post!..& hence then receiving the 'likes' they get the shots of dopamine(one of our brains "feel-good" chemicals that require almong other types of feel-good chemicals). These little tiny instant gratifications just do not compare of the relationships we had prior to the internet coming along that were just on so much more of a DEEPER LEVEL with more substance, loyalty, true emotion...All that good stuff!
The ones that DO still keep it going, well I envy them.

I think other folks around my age def can remember the difference. In my family, I must say, my Mother DOES TRY to bring us all together still. But it just seems that all the happy gatherings with so much love, good food and laughter, even the crazy chaos too!....it seems it died when my Grandparents did.

So its no wonder, there's so much depression going on more than EVER & sadly, its not really getting better.

Some people who are aware of this even go as far as living "off the grid type-lives". Like in say, Alaska...where there is "some" technology...but in many parts, you must live like its a no internet world!


I was asked a Q, idk, a couple weeks ago or so. It was: "If you could choose to go back 100 years, or choose to go forward 100 years...Which would you choose?
Yeah, you all prob know my answer was "to go back"(lol).
I don't want to bombard the OP's post.....but I am curious, what would you guys answer would be to that Q....

Internet addiction ruined society. I have 18 years of experience with pre-web life and about 25 post. The comparison is night and day. The convenience and knowledge is obviously nice, but we paid the ultimate price.

I wholeheartedly agree with this

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Yes, you are correct in your assumptions....people def were all of those things. For example, at this point, I don't have not one phone # memorized in my head! Well we don't need to now bc its all being done for us with cell phones. I'm an early 80s baby, so I recall the times where there were no internet and cell phones for approx half of my life and then having both of them for the other half of my life. I look back and CANNOT BELIEVE how we would have at least, idk, say 25+ (landline only back then) phone numbers just MEMORIZED in our heads!--like without even trying to memorize! lol

There are SO MANY differences. Yeah "Im on the internet bc its kinda just what people do now". ...But I really don't like it so much and wish it would've NEVER came about. I could go on and onnnn with all the things its affected.

**The HUGE way it has affected us as a society is the way that the "internet/social media/etc"...they have in SO MANY WAYS REPLACED how we as humans perceive life and basically in the way that we receive "instant gratifications"(ie how our brain's pleasure zones are stimulated throughout our daily living). Before the internet came along, for sooooo many years, humans got those instant gratifications through more genuine experiences and they just came about in so many diff ways in our everyday lives! We used to meet up with our family/friends pretty much to hang out, we would make jokes, be silly and just genuinely laugh together!..Or we would be on the phone(landline) talking for hours to family members or friends. Or on the otherhand, if you were having a bad day back then, you actually had a friend "in person" to console you...it wasn't being done through a screen of some sort. There were just so many more ways that humans connected on so much more of deeper levels prior to the "internet coming along".

We as humans still "connect", but its just not no where near "as deep" as how it was for so many years prior to the internet. Everything is just so "fast" now also. It's like now these days, everyone has to "make time" or practically make a damn appointment to visit fam/friends!. "We are wired for fellow human connections though"! ....only now, with it not being the way "it used to be" ...there's no wonder people are addicted to the internet. They're 'craving' what we are designed to have since the beginning of time! ...only now, we get it in "smaller bits" via the internet, social media, texting and alike.

For example, I remember reading how say with every "like" that someone gets on their FB post, that 'like' sends a tiny shot of dopamine to the brain. Then that's why you see some people who posted something, but that pic may not have got any likes, then they will turn around and post another pic(hoping its a better one) so they can hopefully receive those "likes" on the next photo/or post!..& hence then receiving the 'likes' they get the shots of dopamine(one of our brains "feel-good" chemicals that require almong other types of feel-good chemicals). These little tiny instant gratifications just do not compare of the relationships we had prior to the internet coming along that were just on so much more of a DEEPER LEVEL with more substance, loyalty, true emotion...All that good stuff!
The ones that DO still keep it going, well I envy them.

I think other folks around my age def can remember the difference. In my family, I must say, my Mother DOES TRY to bring us all together still. But it just seems that all the happy gatherings with so much love, good food and laughter, even the crazy chaos too!....it seems it died when my Grandparents did.

So its no wonder, there's so much depression going on more than EVER & sadly, its not really getting better.

Some people who are aware of this even go as far as living "off the grid type-lives". Like in say, Alaska...where there is "some" technology...but in many parts, you must live like its a no internet world!


I was asked a Q, idk, a couple weeks ago or so. It was: "If you could choose to go back 100 years, or choose to go forward 100 years...Which would you choose?
Yeah, you all prob know my answer was "to go back"(lol).
I don't want to bombard the OP's post.....but I am curious, what would you guys answer would be to that Q....

Genuinely, this (and a similar comment above) is the only thing that helped me feel even slightly better. How could I have forgotten that this isn't just a me problem, but a structural issue at large? I still wish I had the willpower to stay away from the internet, but I think what I really don't want to accept is that, in a way that still isn't fully understood, I was failed. My parents didn't keep my away from the internet, society didn't consider the consequences of 24/7 internet access, and all my friends started going on the internet too because it was "the coolest thing" so why wouldn't I follow suit to not risk being left behind by them? And I wasn't even necessarily failed because of malice, but because of pure ignorance about the consequences of this technology. My parents were not abusive, I grew in a stable home, I even had friends in school despite being bullied, but I was still failed because nobody cared about if there were consequences for allowing developing minds to pulverize themselves with an overload of information (including upsetting / distressing shock content).

I'm absolutely miserable now, and I know a big factor (though not the sole factor) is because of the internet. I've tried many times to pull away from it, but I can't because it always draws me back in with flashing lights and promises, but also because it's become as necessary in the modern (western) world as food and shelter. Want a job to make a living? You'd better have an email address and you'd better be checking it regularly. Some places won't even hire you unless you have an active facebook account (or linkedin) as well. I'm fully convinced that an internet addiction is as bad as a hard drug, yet everyone is expected to dedicate their lives to it. It's exhausting living with all this technology. Sure it's paved the way for a lot of good in the world but the implementation was abysmal and has destroyed many lives.

I feel sorry for gen alpha and ipad kids, I can't even imagine having it worse than I have it right now for someone who didn't even have access to the internet until around highschool.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I have been wondering about how differently people thought before the internet. Am I correct in assuming people were sharper, more focused, and had better attention spans and memories?

I actually think the internet has made people sharper. We have to overclock our brains now to keep up with the technology. But we're more closed off, socially awkward and ridden with anxiety than ever.

 

[vitbar]

For what it is worth I find I get similar when I've not engaged with reading or similar for a while. It feels really awkward and unpleasant to get my brain working that way. I have to keep trying bit at a time until I get back into it. When I get the urge to stop (immediate at first) I try and carry on for just another five minutes and see how I feel. It can take multiple stops and starts over multiple days.

 

[SufferingNSilence]

Genuinely, this (and a similar comment above) is the only thing that helped me feel even slightly better. How could I have forgotten that this isn't just a me problem, but a structural issue at large? I still wish I had the willpower to stay away from the internet, but I think what I really don't want to accept is that, in a way that still isn't fully understood, I was failed. My parents didn't keep my away from the internet, society didn't consider the consequences of 24/7 internet access, and all my friends started going on the internet too because it was "the coolest thing" so why wouldn't I follow suit to not risk being left behind by them? And I wasn't even necessarily failed because of malice, but because of pure ignorance about the consequences of this technology. My parents were not abusive, I grew in a stable home, I even had friends in school despite being bullied, but I was still failed because nobody cared about if there were consequences for allowing developing minds to pulverize themselves with an overload of information (including upsetting / distressing shock content).

I'm absolutely miserable now, and I know a big factor (though not the sole factor) is because of the internet. I've tried many times to pull away from it, but I can't because it always draws me back in with flashing lights and promises, but also because it's become as necessary in the modern (western) world as food and shelter. Want a job to make a living? You'd better have an email address and you'd better be checking it regularly. Some places won't even hire you unless you have an active facebook account (or linkedin) as well. I'm fully convinced that an internet addiction is as bad as a hard drug, yet everyone is expected to dedicate their lives to it. It's exhausting living with all this technology. Sure it's paved the way for a lot of good in the world but the implementation was abysmal and has destroyed many lives.

I feel sorry for gen alpha and ipad kids, I can't even imagine having it worse than I have it right now for someone who didn't even have access to the internet until around highschool.

I agree with everything you wrote! ....and yesss, I think about our future generations as well and how bad it may become for them! I just want the simple world back where we had to go school and with books to learn....or like the example you gave with us no longer filling out paper applications+paper resume's and it having to be with the internet now! I miss back in the days where things were just so much more "genuine" as far as human interactions and no internet....buuuut, that's not going to happen like it used to. No time machine or rewind button in 'life' tho. [big sigh]

I'm happy I found this forum via the internet though, I'll say that.

 

[EternalLight]

Sorry that you're experiencing this, @RosebyAnyName.

I agree with @Sunset Limited. If the brain has been negatively shaped by such exposure, I also believe it's possible to reshape it, but that requires will, which itself requires being able to visualize a future state desirable enough to deprive yourself in the present. You've mentioned playing piano and drawing, so perhaps these things can be used in some way to see yourself transcendent over your current situation. As @Ichigo has said, starting with little steps is best. Of course, you know your situation better than any other. I hope you're able to find relief from it all regardless.

Internet addiction ruined society. I have 18 years of experience with pre-web life and about 25 post. The comparison is night and day. The convenience and knowledge is obviously nice, but we paid the ultimate price.

I have about 12 pre-, myself. Entering my teenage years is when I began using it, and honestly it's something I'm very grateful for along with being the last generation to grow up without smartphones. The Internet was a source of comfort and refuge for me in those days, as my life outside of it was hell. Thankfully, in my 20s, I stopped using it almost entirely except for the most essential things, as what it became was something completely different to what I had known, and I wanted no part in it. But here I am again in my final days.

Want a job to make a living? You'd better have an email address and you'd better be checking it regularly. Some places won't even hire you unless you have an active facebook account (or linkedin) as well.

Yeah, it's like that in a lot of places. I've managed to survive and find work without any social media or online presence at all so far, but it's getting much harder to do so as the years go by. Everything is contrived to push you into the virtual world, but at least it's still possible to avoid it.