in preparation of your suicide, are you changing your personality for the better, in order to be remembered as something good?

[xXSufferingXx]

i was never a straight up bad person. i had and have my flaws.
which sometimes, when not knowing the context, can make me seem rude or whatever.
i've never been a confrontational person, thank god, so it's more about avoiding people rather than the opposite.
i just wanna be left alone most of the time.

but anyway...
i have been changing a lot in the recent year or so.
not about the introvertism, but there's other personality traits i have been working on improving.
... in order to not be remembered as a jerk or a useless burden.

what about you?

 

[_wishforwings]

That's an interesting way to look at it.. I've unfortunately done more of the opposite, and become more of a bad person. More easily irritable and less likely to respond to people and such, maybe deep down it's so people will miss me less or something.. Even though I don't think it necessarily makes a different either way. Either way I think people will ultimately feel like they missed the 'signs' that you were going to CTB.

 

[bittersweetly]

I'm not sure, I want to change for the better so they won't remember or talk about me badly, and as a sort of apology for any negative impact my death might have on them but at the same time I want to be worse so they'll hate me and won't care or be sad when I'm gone. I want to be selfish and do everything i want and take revenge on the people who hurt me.
I'm not sure what i want but I think isolating myself without doing any good or bad is the decision I will stick to in the end

 

[violetforever]

i've been too kind and docile all of my life, i should behave the complete opposite and finally get it all out if anything.

 

[nitrogenous]

I don't think I care about that anymore… I've tried my whole life being the perfect person, the one everyone looked up to. Lately, it's all the opposite, I've been a failure and when I end it all, rather than keeping that kind image, I just want everyone to know that I've been super transparent and serious this whole time about how I feel. I just want them to regret for not taking me seriously, for not helping me and carry that guilt with them.

 

[livingdeaddyke]

to be honest, i wanna be known for my art, so im trying to post as much as possible and leave a mark somewhere before i can ctb.

 

[Forveleth]

No, if anything, it is the opposite, in my case. I am more angry, more sad, less responsive, the closer to killing myself that I am. I also do not care how I am remembered, though.

 

[ellisdisappeared]

I definitely agree since most of the reason I'm in this position is because of my habit to distance myself from people and act cold, which led to misunderstandings with the people I loved. I hope to go out and be seen as the complete opposite.

 

[Melancholys]

I've always been the "good girl" people expect to be good and friendly always but honestly I feel closer and closer to just cutting off the world before I CTB, and letting myself be even more at peace. I get overwhelmed easily by people but I try to keep it in, and I've been kind of mentally distancing myself from people unintentionally due to my plans, but I want to hopefully keep what people remember me by as something positive, if anything, I want to continue a legacy and have my friends and people I care about continue it, to always help others when they can. Lord knows I always did my best to help everyone, I hope maybe the people around me can learn to help each other.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm more or less the same really in terms of my actions. Maybe slightly worse if anything- because I'm so tired of holding on. So- receiving a lecture now over how I need to be earning more or doing this or that- I have far less patience to tolerate. Really, any criticism over how I'm living or even other people are living- if they are not complying in some way- is triggering me far more now.

Depending on what I'm dealing with at that moment- I can sometimes brush it off and revert to small talk. Other times though- when I'm already stressed- I tend to snap now.

I've mostly let relationships/ friendships drift in life though. That seems the kinder approach to me- if I do end up suiciding. There will simply be less to remember to grieve about that way.

 

[kk13]

Ive stopped talking to people unless they talk to me first. Even tho i have to go to college regularly i try my best to avoid everyone. I dont want to talk to anyone.