So for the last 11 months I have been slowly replanning my suicide as I survived my last attempt which was IV fentanyl. Total nightmare... I was found 3.5 hours after administration and unconscious and had a total of 27 narcan doses per my report.
That suicide I had planned for TWO MONTHS, complete with suicide binder (xtra long note), will and giving away all my possessions and quitting my job.
This time I don't have access to IV fent sadly (which is a fabulous way to go btw). I had a bucket of sn and meto by the bed in case I woke up, but that was gone when I returned home after forced psychiatric care.
I had to repurchase SN once I could find enough money without a job while living at my parents. by this time the meto supplier was out of stock, but good news! The forced psychiatric care prescribed seroquel (quetiapine) that acts as an antinausea (proven and recommended in the latest pph).
So now I am waiting for the right time. Last time I was SO READY but this time I'm not, but I want to so bad.
The thing is, I met my future husband in the hospital and we recently married and I have extra guilt now because I am more suicidal than ever but have to fight this guilt off because I know I am going to do it inevitably.
Anyway I am just waiting
That suicide I had planned for TWO MONTHS, complete with suicide binder (xtra long note), will and giving away all my possessions and quitting my job.
This time I don't have access to IV fent sadly (which is a fabulous way to go btw). I had a bucket of sn and meto by the bed in case I woke up, but that was gone when I returned home after forced psychiatric care.
I had to repurchase SN once I could find enough money without a job while living at my parents. by this time the meto supplier was out of stock, but good news! The forced psychiatric care prescribed seroquel (quetiapine) that acts as an antinausea (proven and recommended in the latest pph).
So now I am waiting for the right time. Last time I was SO READY but this time I'm not, but I want to so bad.
The thing is, I met my future husband in the hospital and we recently married and I have extra guilt now because I am more suicidal than ever but have to fight this guilt off because I know I am going to do it inevitably.
Anyway I am just waiting
