I’m trying my hardest to stay here..

[honestyisallineed26]

25m here in Vegas.. I don't think I've ever reached this level of depression before. My daughter died and found my mom dead and still haven't reached this level depression.. I'm currently stuck with the fakest most not genuine people I've ever met in my existence .. I just want true friendship , family , or whatever the hell.. I am trying my absolute hardest to stay here every single day I'm pushing forward but I'm so exhausted at this point.

It's been 2 years of hell with this lease here.. I have 6 months left .. I need strength.

How can you cope being surrounded by people who don't love you , believe in you , or see you as a human …. I've survived so much death and trauma .. why are a bunch of fake people my last straw?

 

[cosifantutti]

You're trying your hardest. I admire that. I've experienced that and know how exhausting it is. I know it'll return too.
Hoping things improve for you.

 

[timf]

You can find fake people anywhere, even in churches. I understand the desire to get out of a horrible lease. You might have a case to break a lease if the landlord has changed the terms. For example, if he has started to take in subsidized tenants. You might put an ad in a law school paper asking if anyone was interested in representing you to see if you could get out of the lease.

You might be able to meet some different people if you were to take a leisure learning class or do some volunteer work.

 

[mellie5]

hello - idk where you are, what country, what do you have available. In a study, most psychiatrists, when asked "what treatment would you prefer if you had persistent severe depression? answered "electroconvulsive therapy"

it works very well and it's not like in films. You don't feel a thing. An anaesthesis makes you sleep so your muscles don't contract and you have no seizures, a short current passes between the electrodes, synchronised brain waves are recorded in the machine, then you wake up, stay around the ward for a few hours and go home.

And very quickly the depression is gone, even if it lasted 20 years. Nobody knows 100% exactly why.

Hanging on there is hard. By definition it is only people you trust that can disappoint you.

About the lease, sometimes contracts contain clauses that are illegal and therefore null and void. Try to have someone from a tenants' organisation take a look at it.

New friends come spontaneously with time. When depressed you may think you have none, but look, people are replying to you :-)

find an actual professional to talk with, sometimes even just a talk will make you feel better, have a try :-)

 

[honestyisallineed26]

You're trying your hardest. I admire that. I've experienced that and know how exhausting it is. I know it'll return too.
Hoping things improve for you.

Thank you so much! Appreciate you replying

You can find fake people anywhere, even in churches. I understand the desire to get out of a horrible lease. You might have a case to break a lease if the landlord has changed the terms. For example, if he has started to take in subsidized tenants. You might put an ad in a law school paper asking if anyone was interested in representing you to see if you could get out of the lease.

You might be able to meet some different people if you were to take a leisure learning class or do some volunteer work.

Yea I'm trying to find something to keep afloat.. life's been dark but I for some damn reason have a small piece of strength to continue going.

hello - idk where you are, what country, what do you have available. In a study, most psychiatrists, when asked "what treatment would you prefer if you had persistent severe depression? answered "electroconvulsive therapy"

it works very well and it's not like in films. You don't feel a thing. An anaesthesis makes you sleep so your muscles don't contract and you have no seizures, a short current passes between the electrodes, synchronised brain waves are recorded in the machine, then you wake up, stay around the ward for a few hours and go home.

And very quickly the depression is gone, even if it lasted 20 years. Nobody knows 100% exactly why.

Hanging on there is hard. By definition it is only people you trust that can disappoint you.

About the lease, sometimes contracts contain clauses that are illegal and therefore null and void. Try to have someone from a tenants' organisation take a look at it.

New friends come spontaneously with time. When depressed you may think you have none, but look, people are replying to you :-)

find an actual professional to talk with, sometimes even just a talk will make you feel better, have a try :-)

Thank you for the response and the info.. I definitely need to do something. The more I wait without a resolve or proactive approach the more it gets worst for me.