I'm surprised to hear some of the reasons for wanting to ctb here

[DanLip22]

Not judging or downplaying or anything but I've noticed there's a lot of people on here who don't have any particular issue with their life but just don't have any desire to live. I find it kind of fascinating because my reason has always been that I absolutely detest the circumstances I was born into and the effects it had on the rest of my life. The thing that fascinates me is how you guys find the motivation to ctb.

 

[LastNite]

I mean...is it really without reason? Depression can make you feel like wanting to kill yourself even if you have a great life, no problems, and youre surrounded by great people. It's in the brain. The same way someone is angry all the time despite having no reason to be angry in the first place.

 

[Katam]

Atleast for me its just the point where it is more of a necessity than anything else, sure I could do this or that instead and I would probably be fine, but I am just at the point where I think its going to be like this even if there is no real inherent reason for it.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

I've been wanting to write a thread about this. How it seems to me that most are really young and impressionable with no distinct issue to push a person to want to kill themselves then they'll label it as depression. I don't even know if they're clinically diagnosed or not. They just decide that "fuck it, can't change, won't change shit" and just go the deep end.

It made me so mad I had to close this site and only go back days after. Wtf is wrong with ppl these days bro

 

[Apathy79]

It's an interesting query. I came here after my best friend ctb. A fairly rich guy. Married with kids. Seemingly loving family, both his childhood family and his current one. Physically healthy. No diagnosed mental issues. No abuse we knew about. Stable job. Few close friends. How does someone like that ctb?

I was friends with him since early childhood and had no clue he was suicidal until after he had already failed a serious attempt. The only reason he survived was because his mother came home unexpectedly and saved him. He was almost 40 then. And his only regret about that night was that she came home and he had to keep living. He ultimately went through with it a few years later.

So what drives someone like that? Or anyone who seems like they have it all? The endless stream of rich people, famous people, celebrities, beautiful people, whatever, who all catch the bus despite seemingly amazing circumstances? For him I think it was some combination of deep self loathing that had been with him basically forever for reasons I never understood and misdiagnosed as extreme humility most of his life, and this deep sense of meaningless of life that no circumstances could shift.

I think there is an assumption out there that suicide is almost always driven by life circumstances that just doesn't turn out to be true. I think sometimes life circumstances have no impact on the decision at all. If anything they just add guilt about having it all to an internal state that's drowning.

 

[itsgone2]

But something has changed. The world changed. It's so many different things

And yet we want to leave it and can't

Sorry if not making sense. But this world, it changed too much too fast. Not worth it. Suicides will spike. Are spiking
Birth rates declining

It's over

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

The thing that fascinates me is how you guys find the motivation to ctb.

I don't think a simple dislike of or disclination towards life is generally enough to drive someone over. People generally have to be in serious pain if it's not something completely impulsive.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes, I wonder which is worse really. Having everything you could need/ want- but, still being unhappy- where do you go from there? Or, having things you desperately want but feeling you'll never achieve them.

It doesn't really seem so strange to me though. Why would a person want to live if they have nothing they want to live for and are (possibly) unable to value what they do have? How do we go about 'fixing' that?

I'm not even sure that it's the case that all that many people here are living 'easy' lives. I suppose I have noticed a number of posts that say they have no reason to feel unhappy but, still do. I wonder if that's the purest sign of depression there is though. If it has no apparent cause.

In a way, it's weirder to call it 'depression' when a person is understandably struggling in a genuinely difficult or bad situation. Who wouldn't be unhappy in their place? But, to struggle with no apparent reason maybe does suggest their perspective has become skewed.

 

[Cyc]

I've been wanting to write a thread about this. How it seems to me that most are really young and impressionable with no distinct issue to push a person to want to kill themselves then they'll label it as depression. I don't even know if they're clinically diagnosed or not. They just decide that "fuck it, can't change, won't change shit" and just go the deep end.

I understand how you feel but at the end of the day no matter how much somebody posts on here we shouldn't be judgemental about someone's reasons for ctbing as we never truly know the whole story. Everyone has the right to die

 

[astroproto]

I understand how you feel but at the end of the day no matter how much somebody posts on here we shouldn't be judgemental about someone's reasons for ctbing as we never truly know the whole story. Everyone has the right to die

Yeah, as much as it's true that young people are often inexperienced, it feels unfair to just consider their feelings invalid based on their posts. This is kind of in the same line of reasoning most people go with to argue against suicide.

 

[Cyc]

Yeah, as much as it's true that young people are often inexperienced, it feels unfair to just consider their feelings invalid based on their posts. This is kind of in the same line of reasoning most people go with to argue against suicide.

Exactly, and a lot of young people on this site have very severe trauma or chronic illnesses that most people, especially pro-lifers, fail to understand or empathise with. Age shouldn't be an excuse to invalidate others suffering.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I find it kind of fascinating because my reason has always been that I absolutely detest the circumstances I was born into and the effects it had on the rest of my life.

If I may ask, at what age did you become suicidal, OP? Only if you want to share, I'm sorry about the circumstances.

I'm not here because of no desire to live. Something happened which destroyed my world and mind, and then the desire was buried.

 

[default]

sometimes, even when it seems everything in a person's life is ok, theres always hidden factors behind their desire to die. it could be trauma. it could be no more desire to live. no more motivation. depression. it could be feeling useless. it might seem like theres no point for someone to ctb if they have a "good life" but you never know whats happening behind that curtain. even though my life is alright, i want to go because my past still weighs on me, and my cognitive functions are slowly starting to decline. i'm basically becoming a shell of a person. every day i lose motivation and i don't want to keep going on like this.

 

[lpdsvm]

They might not realize why. It could be a bunch of small and not harmful things that are around for too long. It's never one issue. It's a lot one by one or a few at the same time for a long period of time.

 

[DanLip22]

If I may ask, at what age did you become suicidal, OP? Only if you want to share, I'm sorry about the circumstances.

I'm not here because of no desire to live. Something happened which destroyed my world and mind, and then the desire was buried.

Honestly, became passively suicidal at 12 and actively suicidal around 14. I was sexually and emotionally abused as a child and still live in an abusive situation (though it's not as bad as it was, but I'm still suffering). The abuse turned me into a hollow shell of a person that grew up depressed, socially awkward and friendless. I don't have the motivation to try anymore at this point. I want either a new life or to sleep forever

 

[lpdsvm]

If I get intimidated, disrespected, undervalued, scammed every day I might CTB in a few weeks/ months. If I can't support myself financially - CTB right now. If I get annoying things like bad weather, getting things done badly, no relationships, basic stuff and just intimidated a few times - I will never CTB but will be irritated and angry a lot (at least from how I see it today).
And the only reason I don't care is because I see nothing in the future. So I am just patient but that day will come I think.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Honestly, became passively suicidal at 12 and actively suicidal around 14. I was sexually and emotionally abused as a child and still live in an abusive situation (though it's not as bad as it was, but I'm still suffering). The abuse turned me into a hollow shell of a person that grew up depressed, socially awkward and friendless. I don't have the motivation to try anymore at this point. I want either a new life or to sleep forever

I'm sorry for the complete wrongness of this world, and that you are a victim to this abuse. I truly wish that you could get a new life

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Not judging or downplaying or anything but I've noticed there's a lot of people on here who don't have any particular issue with their life but just don't have any desire to live. I find it kind of fascinating because my reason has always been that I absolutely detest the circumstances I was born into and the effects it had on the rest of my life. The thing that fascinates me is how you guys find the motivation to ctb.

Not judging or downplaying or anything but I've noticed there's a lot of people on here who don't have any particular issue with their life but just don't have any desire to live. I find it kind of fascinating because my reason has always been that I absolutely detest the circumstances I was born into and the effects it had on the rest of my life. The thing that fascinates me is how you guys find the motivation to ctb.

For me, this is now a conscious decision.

I've been depressed for a very, very long time. It often got to this point.
But now it's not even depression anymore. I'm living a normal life.
However, I've taken stock of things. What was good, what was bad.
How my journey through life will unfold from here. What lies ahead for me.
I've come to the conclusion that both aspects are negative.
So the decision is clear. It's pointless for others to count on me—like my wife, for example—and for me to give them hope that ultimately won't be fulfilled.
And if they do, they'll be living alongside someone who hates life.
I can't keep pretending to be a happy and satisfied husband forever.
If a mortgage and children were added to the mix (both planned for the next two years), it would be a betrayal on my part to give her hope and then become nothing but a burden.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Sometimes, I wonder which is worse really. Having everything you could need/ want- but, still being unhappy- where do you go from there? Or, having things you desperately want but feeling you'll never achieve them.

It doesn't really seem so strange to me though. Why would a person want to live if they have nothing they want to live for and are (possibly) unable to value what they do have? How do we go about 'fixing' that?

I'm not even sure that it's the case that all that many people here are living 'easy' lives. I suppose I have noticed a number of posts that say they have no reason to feel unhappy but, still do. I wonder if that's the purest sign of depression there is though. If it has no apparent cause.

In a way, it's weirder to call it 'depression' when a person is understandably struggling in a genuinely difficult or bad situation. Who wouldn't be unhappy in their place? But, to struggle with no apparent reason maybe does suggest their perspective has become skewed.

This!

 

[fishperson]

u werent born with chronic depression and it shows, educate urself on mental illness

 

[bananaolympus]

I can relate to you i also thought that many reasons for ctb were ridiculous like a romantic breakup for example, but i talked with many suicidal people, ppl who seriously attempted back when i was on therapy and was going for group therapies also ppl with fucked up lives and diseases that wish to live i learned that the pain that people carry should not be viewed as lesser because other people went through that or are experiencing worse, i highly respect people who struggles are incredible hard but they keep going but also i would never belittle someone reason to ctb

 

[pinapellicer]

I've been wanting to write a thread about this. How it seems to me that most are really young and impressionable with no distinct issue to push a person to want to kill themselves then they'll label it as depression. I don't even know if they're clinically diagnosed or not. They just decide that "fuck it, can't change, won't change shit" and just go the deep end.

It made me so mad I had to close this site and only go back days after. Wtf is wrong with ppl these days bro

I'm 23 years old and i want to ctb because i have no friends, no hope of making friends in the future and disillusionment and fear about my job prospects. Basically i believe in my future i will be lonely and struggling. I could be taking actions to change the course of this right now, yet i'm trying to get everything i need to ctb instead.
Do you think I'm acting stupidly? You can be as honest as you want.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

I'm 23 years old and i want to ctb because i have no friends, no hope of making friends in the future and disillusionment and fear about my job prospects. Basically i believe in my future i will be lonely and struggling. I could be taking actions to change the course of this right now, yet i'm trying to get everything i need to ctb instead.
Do you think I'm acting stupidly? You can be as honest as you want.

Honestly? It's a choice that I cannot agree with and only defend because it pertains to your right over your own life. I don't want to get flamed by the people here. Same case went for my ex who could've asked us for financial help so she can graduate (she had another semester left) and I was so mad at her for ctb.

I guess it's cool because she left 40+mill of saving money for her family. Could've thrown that 40+mill for the tuition fee instead and actually get that food science degree. That's a very distinct set of skills, she wouldn't have gone jobless for long.

 

[squiddedoutt]

I've come to feel suicide is seen by others as an impulsive and rash decision or as a means of escaping extreme pain from my experience outside of this site. It's just a lot different here-not in any good or bad way. It's nice to see how diverse the reasons for the same decision can be.

 

[GremlinCan56]

Not judging or downplaying or anything but I've noticed there's a lot of people on here who don't have any particular issue with their life but just don't have any desire to live. I find it kind of fascinating because my reason has always been that I absolutely detest the circumstances I was born into and the effects it had on the rest of my life. The thing that fascinates me is how you guys find the motivation to ctb.

also detest my circumstances.

 

[DanLip22]

also detest my circumstances.

I hope u find peace

 

[GremlinCan56]

I hope u find peace

I hope you do as well. I'm hoping to go asap.

 

[scoba32]

I hope you do as well. I'm hoping to go asap.

what method do you plan?

 

[GremlinCan56]

what method do you plan?

It's a popular method on this site, with tons and tons of posts on it.

That one.