Venting im sorry

[overwhelming]

im so sorry , i just, i want to put something down, my head is racing and i can't get anything straight. everything is going downhill. parents seem like they're hating me more and more with each day, we wont ever have that happy bond we shared when i was a child ever again. they grow more and more disappointed with me each day. why am i wasting this space? i am SO ugly. i go hours staring at myself in the mirror and trying to fix it with makeup or whatever, yet i suck so bad and i still remain hideous. my skin is horrible. i am always reminded of how hideous i am anytime i look at someone. i have such an unhealthy mindset and i know i can never accept my appearance and i have tried EVERYTHING but there's always some sort of contradiction with beauty standards and i just, what can i do? i dont want to be myself. i just want to be pretty. i just want to be beautiful. my boyfriend is becoming more and more distant and i am a paranoid annoying partner to have. i always need reassurance. im so unhealthy. why the fuck

 

[MichaelNomad123]

What's your skin problem? I have about 75% angry eczema coverage all over my torso and back atm. Shit is absolutely horrible and entirely triggered by my living environment which I can't change, so I'm just living in this perpetual cycle of bad skin. This has also been a lifelong thing. So hey, I can relate. Depending on the skin problem, there are lifestyle changes that can be made to improve your condition. It just depends on the problem, y'know?

I can tell you that your boyfriend should be a source of relief for you. If he is supportive and comforting for you, then perhaps you are battling with ghosts? If not, then that can be a place for you to start. Self-esteem sucks. I've found that I'm happiest when I don't live around mirrors. I'm like you in that I stare at them far too often. It becomes obsessive and my day turns into my own personal torment.

Be kind to yourself. It will get better.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Lifestyles don't improve being slightly tan and not white. Better not to have been born at all than not be exactly paper white.

I was talking to OP. There is nothing in the post that indicates that they were talking about skin colour. That is a different matter entirely.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I can relate to pretty much all of this and have no meaningful advice

 

[overwhelming]

What's your skin problem? I have about 75% angry eczema coverage all over my torso and back atm. Shit is absolutely horrible and entirely triggered by my living environment which I can't change, so I'm just living in this perpetual cycle of bad skin. This has also been a lifelong thing. So hey, I can relate. Depending on the skin problem, there are lifestyle changes that can be made to improve your condition. It just depends on the problem, y'know?

I can tell you that your boyfriend should be a source of relief for you. If he is supportive and comforting for you, then perhaps you are battling with ghosts? If not, then that can be a place for you to start. Self-esteem sucks. I've found that I'm happiest when I don't live around mirrors. I'm like you in that I stare at them far too often. It becomes obsessive and my day turns into my own personal torment.

Be kind to yourself. It will get better.

yeah tryna wean off of mirrors, have a terrible acne issue

I can relate to pretty much all of this and have no meaningful advice

hehe