I'm so tired/venting

[suffering]

I'm so f**ing tired, I just want to die. I hate my job, I work in an industry that needs to keep an optimistic display, which goes against my philosophical views, it's like I work for the devil... I try to hustle after work and I see no results... I come at home late, exhausted and afraid, I can barely afford a taxi (I mean I can afford it, but I am trying to save) so I walk quite a bit, shady people on the streets make me afraid...
I wanted to commit suicide a while back and my struggle with my SI left me traumatized and feeling like a prisoner.
Why am I here? Why was I born? If god exists, I want to meet him so I can spit into his face.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I had to wrote to you because I think you wrote something exactly like I did. I said if there is a God I want to meet him so I can beat the shit out of him. I may have even said spit in his face, I don't remember. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better but I know there isn't. No one can say or do anything for me. I wish I had enough money to hire a hit man who could just get a gun with a silencer on it because I don't want to hear the noise and just put three bullets in the back of my head so I don't have to do it.

 

[pole]

sorry you feel such a way. it pains me to see those who work, not enjoy what they do, but do so for the purposes of making a living. i cant imagine working somewhere i genuinly dont like; it would just break me. work for me has been a place to escape to, and an environment to be comfortable and happy within.

And if you feel the complete opposite, you shouldn't force yourself to be in such an environment. You dont deserve that imo, no one does. Have you ever i guess thought heavily on a job change? You probably have and its probably just hard to change fields or just find another one, but ultimately you will if you want to. it just seems even outside of work, the environment around you including where you live is just negatively affecting you. Id try and move, somewhere id wanna be, just a change in environments you know? both with a new job, and living situation as a whole. You should feel comfortable wherever you are, at all times, whether its at work or in you're own environment and area.

Work just seems like its draining any energy thats left in you outside of you're mental state already, and thats terrible. hopefully you find a way out and something better comes along that you can actually enjoy. hope things turn around and wish you find peace.

 

[suffering]

I had to wrote to you because I think you wrote something exactly like I did. I said if there is a God I want to meet him so I can beat the shit out of him. I may have even said spit in his face, I don't remember. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better but I know there isn't. No one can say or do anything for me. I wish I had enough money to hire a hit man who could just get a gun with a silencer on it because I don't want to hear the noise and just put three bullets in the back of my head so I don't have to do it.

I dream abut a hitman as well..