Saki
A failed artist, student and human
- Mar 22, 2021
- 190
I have been trying to recover for a strict i think 3 years now. I had my ups and downs...I am on medication. I have been in psychiatric care. I have been activly out trying to connect with people. Putting myself in situations with complete strangers.
To all in the end still be in pain. I have sleepless night. I feel unheard, unvalidated and boiled down to my fucking age. I am not to fucking young to die. Fuck you. Suicide is all have knewn the last six years. The only thing that was consistant in my life. I had weird glares from people medical wise bc i am on antidepressants just bc of my age. It is already over for me if i have a broken brain. It sometimes really hurts. I cant deal with this shit anymore. I am shifthing towards attempting more and more daily.
I know i may be a shelted naive person. I dont have it as bad as a lot of people here. but i am tired. Fucking tired. Lonliness i a fucking siltent killer. I have become bitter. i hate being like this. But it is how it is.
I have to seriously start to take things into my own fucking hand.
To all in the end still be in pain. I have sleepless night. I feel unheard, unvalidated and boiled down to my fucking age. I am not to fucking young to die. Fuck you. Suicide is all have knewn the last six years. The only thing that was consistant in my life. I had weird glares from people medical wise bc i am on antidepressants just bc of my age. It is already over for me if i have a broken brain. It sometimes really hurts. I cant deal with this shit anymore. I am shifthing towards attempting more and more daily.
I know i may be a shelted naive person. I dont have it as bad as a lot of people here. but i am tired. Fucking tired. Lonliness i a fucking siltent killer. I have become bitter. i hate being like this. But it is how it is.
I have to seriously start to take things into my own fucking hand.
