Help I'm scared

[Rustysoupcan]

I'm scared of dying. I'm also scared I won't die. I'm afraid of spending years in hospitals and group homes. I'm afraid of getting brain damage or any damage to my body. I'm scared of boyfriend not being able to handle the grief and dropping out of college.

But I cant live like this. I have tried treatments but they dont work. I'm not getting better. I'm going to spend the rest of my life depressed in some capacity. There is no beating this illness.

I need to go, but I dont have a plan. I'm in a group home and obviously cant do anything here. I also cant leave. I could run away but I have to make sure I have an incredibly thought out and fool proof plan because if I get caught I will be sent to the nightmare hospital and I won't get out. I feel like there is no where for me to go.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate with the pain or permanent damage part.

However, I'm not afraid of death because without a brain, we won't probably be conscious anymore. Just like the time before we were born.

There used to be an epic user here on SS called Dani who posted an amazing thread titled "Don't be afraid of death"

Here's the link so that you check it out. It might give you some peace. It worked for me.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dont-be-afraid-of-death.47413/