Kadaver
Maybe death is like falling asleep
- Aug 11, 2023
- 158
Its as if every time I think things are going to stop getting bad they get worse. I just got my bill for the initial hospital that held me overnight before they transferred me to the actual mental health facility. So now, on top of the $1,500+ that I owe the mental facility, I owe the hospital that kept me for less than a day $831 dollars. I don't have that money! I barely have the money for the mental health hospital and that's only if I wipe out all my savings. All because my roommate 5150'ed me.
I'm financially fucked because my roommate was worried about me. I owe this money because I was forced into the hospital by police! This is so fucking bullshit. And what makes it even worse is that when I got out of the mental hospital my roommate claimed that I was "stressing him out." I guess my suicidality and intense mental anguish were inconvenient for him. Then he refused to be around me for nearly any amount of time. He repeatedly brought his stupid ass girlfriend over not even a fucking week after I got out and didn't even ask me if I was ok with essentially being forced to interact with her! Then after a few weeks he randomly sprung on me that he was buying me a plane ticket back to my dads house in two weeks because me just existing in his house was apparently to much for him and told me it was my responsibility to prep my cat for flying and schedule his checkup to get approved to fly within this time period.
When I couldn't he essentially told me that I should have insisted the vet see me sooner and that it was too bad because I was leaving on the day he decided and that he would get some kind of pet transport for my cat to be flown out after I left. I refused to leave without my cat and while I ended up finding a vet who could see him in time, my roommate made me feel like shit about the whole thing.
And on top of the financial bs my mental health is so poor that I can't work a job. I can barely leave my house because of how bad my dysphoria and depression are. Working a job sounds impossible while my mental health is like this and I planned on going on disability and finding some low-incomee housing but I've heard that getting on disability for things like anxiety/depression can be extremely hard and fuck, it just feels so daunting that I haven't even started the process.
I was a little harsh about how I worded some things regarding my roommate and his girlfriend but fuck, this is the only place I can do that. I'm paranoid that he can see my imessages and discord messages so I haven't been able to be this candid with anyone. (the reason is his iPad is logged into my Apple account and his laptop was logged into my discord so I've been super careful because I'm worried about him seeing my honest thoughts and getting offended or mad at me for them.
I'm financially fucked because my roommate was worried about me. I owe this money because I was forced into the hospital by police! This is so fucking bullshit. And what makes it even worse is that when I got out of the mental hospital my roommate claimed that I was "stressing him out." I guess my suicidality and intense mental anguish were inconvenient for him. Then he refused to be around me for nearly any amount of time. He repeatedly brought his stupid ass girlfriend over not even a fucking week after I got out and didn't even ask me if I was ok with essentially being forced to interact with her! Then after a few weeks he randomly sprung on me that he was buying me a plane ticket back to my dads house in two weeks because me just existing in his house was apparently to much for him and told me it was my responsibility to prep my cat for flying and schedule his checkup to get approved to fly within this time period.
When I couldn't he essentially told me that I should have insisted the vet see me sooner and that it was too bad because I was leaving on the day he decided and that he would get some kind of pet transport for my cat to be flown out after I left. I refused to leave without my cat and while I ended up finding a vet who could see him in time, my roommate made me feel like shit about the whole thing.
And on top of the financial bs my mental health is so poor that I can't work a job. I can barely leave my house because of how bad my dysphoria and depression are. Working a job sounds impossible while my mental health is like this and I planned on going on disability and finding some low-incomee housing but I've heard that getting on disability for things like anxiety/depression can be extremely hard and fuck, it just feels so daunting that I haven't even started the process.
I was a little harsh about how I worded some things regarding my roommate and his girlfriend but fuck, this is the only place I can do that. I'm paranoid that he can see my imessages and discord messages so I haven't been able to be this candid with anyone. (the reason is his iPad is logged into my Apple account and his laptop was logged into my discord so I've been super careful because I'm worried about him seeing my honest thoughts and getting offended or mad at me for them.
