Venting I'm in limbo state right now

[Chocomel]

I literally don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if I want to ctb or just continue living. I can't see myself in the future, but I also can't see myself ending it all. I just don't know what to feel. Right now I'm just surviving day to day eating all these pains. I don't have anyone to talk to except for my imaginary friends. I mean there is my family right there in the living room, but they are not really my family either. I currently live in my uncle house. My parents aren't near me, and I think if they are, I don't think that would make my situation any better.

 

[Unlucky777]

I hear you and feel you. I'm in the same boat as you.

I'm torn between moments when I want to ctb and moments when I want to live. It's a weird push pull force going on inside and it's emotionally draining. It all feels very confusing. Also my whole family is here but I also feel very lonely. It's such a weird place/state to be in but coming here and posting is helping me cope.

Do you have any coping strategies that you could use when you feeling like this? Me I do crossword puzzles, watch astronomy videos, play chess and work on some music and they all help to forget about my mixed feelings.

 

[Chocomel]

Do you have any coping strategies that you could use when you feeling like this? Me I do crossword puzzles, watch astronomy videos, play chess and work on some music and they all help to forget about my mixed feelings.

My coping strategies is more or less the same like you. I just usually succumb myself with anything really, as long as I get distracted. It works most of the time, except when its not, like today. Today I just feels like I want to notice the feeling I have been in and trying to figure out how to fix this, which I'm failed because the feeling is still there, it is not fixed.

 

[Unlucky777]

My coping strategies is more or less the same like you. I just usually succumb myself with anything really, as long as I get distracted. It works most of the time, except when its not, like today. Today I just feels like I want to notice the feeling I have been in and trying to figure out how to fix this, which I'm failed because the feeling is still there, it is not fixed.

Ah OK yeah so I've been there as well for about the last year when NOTHING in the world got rid of that feeling inside. It's very hard to describe and it sucks to feel that way. The best thing to do? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

It sounds very counter intuitive but put away the phone, put away anything and everything and sit in silence. Just let yourself be and feel whatever you are feeling. Just sit with those thoughts and feelings for a few minutes. Go for a walk if you can. The trick here is to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling without judgment and without having to fix it. Try it for a few minutes.

It takes time to get comfortable but try a few minutes and see how you feel.

 

[Chocomel]

Thank you for the advice, will try it right away

 

[Unlucky777]

Thank you for the advice, will try it right away

Great let me know how it goes.

I live near a mountain area and a woodsy area and I love just going for a walk without any distractions. It's so peaceful

 

[orvreader]

My coping strategies is more or less the same like you. I just usually succumb myself with anything really, as long as I get distracted. It works most of the time, except when its not, like today. Today I just feels like I want to notice the feeling I have been in and trying to figure out how to fix this, which I'm failed because the feeling is still there, it is not fixed.

Spontaneously crying usually works for me; after all, we evolved the ability to cry to decrease stress, right? So we have to put it to good use lol. Although crying and self-pity isn't "solving anything," this case is less of a problem to solve, it's more like a feeling to alleviate; so letting out everything through tears would be helpful, right? That's what I think, at least.

 

[Dejected 55]

I was in a depression spiral for over a year... finally got the nerve and inspiration to make my attempt back in October... I failed, obviously... had some time in a facility as a result... and I've been in limbo ever since. I don't know if I want to kill myself, but I don't want to be here. I can't live like this anymore... but clearly I can't do anything about it. I can't even exit life. I was afraid failure might do this to me.

So, I get you. I thought the depression was bad... Limbo is even worse. Before I thought I had a path out. Now I am just stuck.