Im glad i had an abortion

[dust-in-the-wind]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

 

[TBONTB]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant, but you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

Sorry you had to go through that. And yes, it's great to spare a child misery of being in the life of an unstable situation full of mental illness. Take care.

 

[Vivir_O_No]

Sorry you had to go through that. And yes, it's great to spare a child misery of being in the life of an unstable situation full of mental illness. Take care.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

as a depressed person who has been almost entirely unhappy and wishes they hadn't existed, i think it's likely you made the kind choice.

i hope you are doing okay. when you say "death bed confession," I'm not sure if that means you are close to ending things. I hope you are alright. I've always admired you. You seem like a nice rational person who just struggles with severe depression and I've always admired your ability to talk honestly about your experiences and how much you've fought against depression.

 

[Dejected 55]

@dust-in-the-wind this is why I am pro-choice even though I am generally against abortion. As a man I can't have children or abortions, obviously. As a man never being in a relationship I've never been in the position of being able to father a child. I can't 100% say how I would be in a situation with a woman I impregnated and she wanted an abortion VS needing one for medical reasons.

With that context... I know there are a lot of women who had them and regret it. There are also ones like yourself who had one and do not regret it. I am saddened that in the USA we have been creeping backwards with regard to the right-to-choose in recent years. It's a tough choice for a woman to have to make, but I've always felt like she should be able to make that choice. In a perfect world, not only would she be able to make that choice but also not be pressured by others to feel one way or another afterwards.

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story, especially when you did not have to at all. If you felt the need to share as part of lightening the load, I hope that worked. It does read like you are trying to let go of some things before an end that maybe seems closer to you than previously. If that is the case, I wish you well during the process of preparing for the end.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

as a depressed person who has been almost entirely unhappy and wishes they hadn't existed, i think it's likely you made the kind choice.

i hope you are doing okay. when you say "death bed confession," I'm not sure if that means you are close to ending things. I hope you are alright. I've always admired you. You seem like a nice rational person who just struggles with severe depression and I've always admired your ability to talk honestly about your experiences and how much you've fought against depression.

Thank you for your kind words. I am very close to leaving. My suffering is extreme. I can no longer function as a human and I lay in bed crying all day. It's been this bad for 2 years now. I am a shell of who I once was. I am trying one last ditch effort. It is an maoi inhibitor medication called Parnate invented in the 1950's. It's all rhey had back then for depression but it helped people. Drawback is more side effects and certain foods you can't eat. It's rarely prescribed anymore since the invention of newer and safer anti depressants. But my Dr is older and used it in the past and thought it was worth I try.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Thank you for your kind words. I am very close to leaving. My suffering is extreme. I can no longer function as a human and I lay in bed crying all day. It's been this bad for 2 years now. I am a shell of who I once was. I am trying one last ditch effort. It is an maoi inhibitor medication called Parnate invented in the 1950's. It's all rhey had back then for depression but it helped people. Drawback is more side effects and certain foods you can't eat. It's rarely prescribed anymore since the invention of newer and safer anti depressants. But my Dr is older and used it in the past and thought it was worth I try.

at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, also have you tried genesight (The GeneSight
Psychotropic test)? you're so dilligent and sensible regarding trying things. it could possibly show some interesting information. I also hope the MAOI works. That's one of the few classes of medications I haven't tried... or maybe I have? I know I thought about trying a selegiline patch, but I don't think I actually tried it.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

@dust-in-the-wind this is why I am pro-choice even though I am generally against abortion. As a man I can't have children or abortions, obviously. As a man never being in a relationship I've never been in the position of being able to father a child. I can't 100% say how I would be in a situation with a woman I impregnated and she wanted an abortion VS needing one for medical reasons.

With that context... I know there are a lot of women who had them and regret it. There are also ones like yourself who had one and do not regret it. I am saddened that in the USA we have been creeping backwards with regard to the right-to-choose in recent years. It's a tough choice for a woman to have to make, but I've always felt like she should be able to make that choice. In a perfect world, not only would she be able to make that choice but also not be pressured by others to feel one way or another afterwards.

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story, especially when you did not have to at all. If you felt the need to share as part of lightening the load, I hope that worked. It does read like you are trying to let go of some things before an end that maybe seems closer to you than previously. If that is the case, I wish you well during the process of preparing for the end.

I am pro choice to a point myself. In my case I was so early into the pregnancy I didn't really think of being a baby yet. I do think women overuse abortion as a form of birth control and that has to stop. I've been mentally doing a life review of the decades of my life so I can be at peace at the end.

at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, also have you tried genesight (The GeneSight
Psychotropic test)? you're so dilligent and sensible regarding trying things. it could possibly show some interesting information.

Yes I've done it twice. Once last year and once in 2017. Problem with the test is it just shows you which drugs you will metabolize better but that doesn't mean they will work. I think I've tried every single drug on the test, not kidding.

 

[rustcohle4life]

Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us. It looks like you've been depressed for a long time and probably wouldn't of been able to take care of the kid the way you wanted. It might of inherited your depression or had to watch you deal with depression his/her entire life. I honestly think you made a wise choice.

Honestly, with the whole Charlie Kirk thing and the surrounding rhetoric over the past 4 days, i think you spared the kid from a whole lot of bullshit that can't be solved because the human condition is not fixable. The USA is now just a whole bunch of people who hate each others guts, and want to murder each other. One of the first things parents do when buying a house is to look for a good safe neighbor hood to raise their kids, but they don't look beyond the surface level, at the actual world and what it entails before they decide to bring a kid here. The crazy thing is, many of them are not happy themselves and some extremely so.

If happiness eludes you, maybe don't bring another soul here to experience the same.

 

[whywere]

I have had really bad depression from the get-go, and you are such a wonderful person.

I REALLY like @claracatchingthebus post. What she says goes the same for me to you, her thoughts are wonderful.

We are family here and you have such grace about yourself and how you think of others is so wonderful.

From the 1970's till about around 2005, I had a few ladies who wanted to have a kid with me. I always travel for work and that would be hard, and a kid is 24/7 till death in my point of view. After 18, one might not bank roll them anymore, however they are a person's DNA, so forever.

I believe in GOD and also his/her counterpart, the devil, but NOT organized religion. I mention this as I bet Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates wanting a long time from now to welcome you.

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and upcoming week filled with lovely weather, and you are so kind and caring, you are a beautiful soul.

Walter

 

[davidtorez]

as a depressed person who has been almost entirely unhappy and wishes they hadn't existed, i think it's likely you made the kind choice.

i hope you are doing okay. when you say "death bed confession," I'm not sure if that means you are close to ending things. I hope you are alright. I've always admired you. You seem like a nice rational person who just struggles with severe depression and I've always admired your ability to talk honestly about your experiences and how much you've fought against depression.

My sentiments exactly. I dont think I could have said it better myself.

 

[tpboy]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

We are the same age.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I have had really bad depression from the get-go, and you are such a wonderful person.

I REALLY like @claracatchingthebus post. What she says goes the same for me to you, her thoughts are wonderful.

We are family here and you have such grace about yourself and how you think of others is so wonderful.

From the 1970's till about around 2005, I had a few ladies who wanted to have a kid with me. I always travel for work and that would be hard, and a kid is 24/7 till death in my point of view. After 18, one might not bank roll them anymore, however they are a person's DNA, so forever.

I believe in GOD and also his/her counterpart, the devil, but NOT organized religion. I mention this as I bet Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates wanting a long time from now to welcome you.

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and upcoming week filled with lovely weather, and you are so kind and caring, you are a beautiful soul.

Walter

I have had really bad depression from the get-go, and you are such a wonderful person.

I REALLY like @claracatchingthebus post. What she says goes the same for me to you, her thoughts are wonderful.

We are family here and you have such grace about yourself and how you think of others is so wonderful.

From the 1970's till about around 2005, I had a few ladies who wanted to have a kid with me. I always travel for work and that would be hard, and a kid is 24/7 till death in my point of view. After 18, one might not bank roll them anymore, however they are a person's DNA, so forever.

I believe in GOD and also his/her counterpart, the devil, but NOT organized religion. I mention this as I bet Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates wanting a long time from now to welcome you.

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and upcoming week filled with lovely weather, and you are so kind and caring, you are a beautiful soul.

Walter

Hi Walter, Thank you for your kind post. I envy your belief in God

I have had really bad depression from the get-go, and you are such a wonderful person.

I REALLY like @claracatchingthebus post. What she says goes the same for me to you, her thoughts are wonderful.

We are family here and you have such grace about yourself and how you think of others is so wonderful.

From the 1970's till about around 2005, I had a few ladies who wanted to have a kid with me. I always travel for work and that would be hard, and a kid is 24/7 till death in my point of view. After 18, one might not bank roll them anymore, however they are a person's DNA, so forever.

I believe in GOD and also his/her counterpart, the devil, but NOT organized religion. I mention this as I bet Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates wanting a long time from now to welcome you.

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and upcoming week filled with lovely weather, and you are so kind and caring, you are a beautiful soul.

Walter

Hi Walter, thank you for your kind words. I envy your belief in God. I feel I already live in hell and hope there is nothing or at least nothing worse after this life I hope you had a nice day

 

[Ashu]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

Oh, you're exactly my age. A girlfriend of mine got pregnant when we were both twenty-seven. She decided to abort. It was the only reasonable decision, but it haunts me.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Oh, you're exactly my age. A girlfriend of mine got pregnant when we were both twenty-seven. She decided to abort. It was the only reasonable decision, but it haunts me.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better about the decision. You did what you thought was right at the time and that's all any of can do in this life

 

[SoulWantsHome]

If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

"God" (or more precisely, the source), as well as the souls in the spirit-world, will forgive you for having aborted your fetus. And they won't blame/condemn/judge/punish you for having done so. Both "God" (or more precisely, the source) and souls are simply too loving, compassionate, peaceful and reasonable to do that.

And besides, the life-organizers in the spirit-world will obviously already know in advance which fetuses will be born, which fetuses will be aborted, and which fetuses will die from other causes; before they offer up bodies to the souls that wish to incarnate as humans on earth. (And souls usually don't incarnate as humans, until the human fetuses are around 5-6 months old - because the human fetuses need to be developed enough for the souls to be able to incarnate properly/to get a lot out of the incarnation.) So, you didn't "mess anything up" by having an abortion.

But you don't have to believe this stuff, of course. You'll discover it for yourself one day anyway... :)

I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again.

Your decision to abort the fetus, was perfectly reasonable - and you probably did do the fetus a favour by doing so, if you were in fact "a train-wreck at the time, that had no business bringing life into this world". (Besides, the potential for suffering in this world, is quite enormous - so it's safe to say that you did the fetus a favour anyway, even regardless of the personal problems that you had at the time.)

 

[Ashu]

I wish I could say something to make you feel better about the decision. You did what you thought was right at the time and that's all any of can do in this life

Perhaps paradoxically, one thing that consoles me is my present sympathy for my parents, both now gone, whose life together was devastated by their two train-wreck children. I feel so terrible for how their optimistic, generous, goodhearted choice to have children ended up creating four lives of misery, when if the concept of childlessness had only been available to them, they might have been able to at least achieve some happiness for themselves, which would have been difficult enough.

 

[Zardoz]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

Thank you for your openness and honesty.

This is always going to be a difficult subject to face.

I am a man. I have had a termination done swiftly on me by a new girlfriend, who had plenty of notice that we were entering into a sexual relationship, neglected to get her long standing contraception checked but assured me everything was fine. I didn't have much say in the matter. I was naive in life generally and just went along with things. That was all a long time ago, I'm not sure how I would respond now.
I have no other children. I think that is for the best, given my life experience. I wish my parents had never had children (me). I totally get your point about inheriting mental illness, I and my siblings have for sure. I almost see it as my duty to not have children, and I'm at an age now where it's unlikely to happen anyway. But it still haunts me somewhat.

Respect and best wishes to you.

 

[MyShadow]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

I'm a year older than you but during that same year, the girl I was dating became pregnant and had a abortion as soon as she was able. We were both 20 years old and in no way prepared to bring a baby into the world. Plus, looking back I had undiagnosed depression issues that would have certainly complicated things.

Thank you for your openness.