Venting if a parent loved their child surely they would spare them from the certain of death

[Darkover]

Bringing someone into existence guarantees they will experience suffering and eventually die. If a parent truly prioritized sparing their child from harm, they might conclude that the only way to do so is to never have them in the first place. This is a core argument of antinatalism—the idea that it is better never to be born than to suffer and die.

Most parents, however, don't think this way. They either don't consider the inevitability of death when deciding to have children, or they believe that life is worth it despite suffering. Many see joy, love, and meaningful experiences as justifications for existence, even though suffering is guaranteed.

From my perspective, though, the certainty of suffering and death outweighs any potential positives, making non-existence the more compassionate choice.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I agree. No matter how much a parent loves their child and no matter how much they provide for them and try to give them the best life possible and everything they want and need, terrible accidents can happen leaving the child permanently suffering or alone, illnesses can develop, and more. Suffering is certain. It's never worth the risk to put someone through living when it's certain they will suffer and die.

 

[MidnightCat]

I wanna start with: I don't want to have kids for this particular reason.

But, I understand there's people out there with lifes where the happiness and joy vastly outnumbers their desperation or suffering.

So, if they're mainly happy, they might think their son will follow that path. Of course the possibility of the path changing is there... But they mainly think it may not.

Also, remember that the animal inside of us is programmed to do certain task, like surviving (and we all now SI is powerful even among us) and reproducing.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I tend to hold with this idea too. I sort of feel like the childless amoung us are the most awesome parents of all. Look at what we've protected our children from! I'd hope that, were I a Mum, I'd be a mother bear of one so, I like to think of them all safely non- existing far away from this world.

It's actually a very difficult thing I try to square in my mind. It isn't just our death. It's witnessing theirs and others. Which, in some cases, people dread more. If we actually got the choice to die ourselves or, watch a loved one suffer and die, how many of us would choose the first? We only have to do that once. Mourning someone's death can last years, decades, sometimes the whole rest of our lives. Parents certainly don't want to witness us dying before them but, we're expected to just accept it when they and others die as a natural part of life (we didn't choose to participate in.)

It's something I struggle with in particular, seeing as my Mum was diagnosed with cancer at the same time she found out she was pregnant. She died 3 years later. She in paticular, really wanted children. I suppose also, it's maybe emotionally difficult to abort when you really want a child. She avoided chemo because of this.

Really though, I do wonder. Did my parents even consider the scenario that she may die young? How did they think that would impact my life and, everyone elses? It was pretty catastrophic in the short run. It's been fairly catastrophic for me in long run. It set my life on a totally different path with a step family that caused my ideation to begin with.

But yeah, it's hard for me to wrestle with that thought now. Especially because everything I've heard about my Mum suggests she was a very gentle and kind person. Who knows though? Maybe she was just a total optimist too. Maybe she thought she'd beat the cancer and, we'd all live happily ever after. Lol. Who lives happily ever after?