I wish god would give my life to a kid with cancer who wants to live

[32yroldloser]

or someone else who needs my organs or body parts or even life spirit to save their life. my life isn't fixable it's completely broken.

i'm just praying to god to show me a sign that my life is worth living and im trying my hardest not to off myself.

i'll try to give a few weeks but i know im just going to suffer more.

My life won't get better, ill wait these few weeks and my life will be the same misery slop or worse and then i'll just be another person that offed themselves the end.

question, can i sign up to be a donor and if i kill myself can my body be use to save people? I have a chronic condition that affects my body but i hope at least my death can mean something rather than a fat ugly loser killing themselvs that amounted to nothing.

 

[AltF4Mylife]

I wish the same

 

[indianachrome]

me too.. I wish I could get cancer right now

 

[itsgone2]

Someone I know, their husband died of a heart attack a few years ago. Completely unexpected. Good guy. I think, why him and not me? Take me, bring him back.

 

[depressed_kitten97]

Oh my god I thought I was the only one.

Every night before falling asleep, I « pray » to give my life to any sick kids.

I follow some accounts on social media of families with a sick kid. It breaks my heart how much they want to live.

I am physically fine and I want to die.

It doesn't make any sense.

 

[Nightfoot]

I think it's admirable that you are thinking of others, despite your suffering. As far as life having meaning, maybe it's just as simple as trying to be a good person and, as a result, a good example to others. Not everyone cares beyond the six inches in front of their own faces. As far as "fat, ugly loser who didn't amount to anything," those just opinions and not facts. None of us chose to be born, so why do we have the responsibility to amount to anything? I'm sure you've amounted to something to those who care about you. Life is hard, and those who have empathy for others surely amount to something, even if it doesn't feel that way.

 

[Jan1193]

When I was 16, I had a friend with cancer, and I've fall in love with him without telling him. Really, I never said it, but he knews, and his mother and sisters too. When I readed your post I remembered his sister who had cancer too and I forgot completely till now. I'm a f*kin trash bag, i feel like garbage because In this relapse of my untreated depression since my mother pass away, I even wanted to get cancer or something terminal, agressive and fast just to finally die. My favourite uncle passed away last year from cancer too. And I never trought about anyone like you did, wanting to donate my organs or something, just in my own grief like a crybaby as f*k. And meanwhile the time keeps passing with me alone, I feel less and less human than my youth or anytime I can remember

You're really, really a kind and wonderfull human being. I'm pretty sure you can find some way to sign about a donate. Arround the world are institutions and agreements in hospital for doing that or donate our bodies to science

 

[Off_Switch]

 

[32yroldloser]

When I was 16, I had a friend with cancer, and I've fall in love with him without telling him. Really, I never said it, but he knews, and his mother and sisters too. When I readed your post I remembered his sister who had cancer too and I forgot completely till now. I'm a f*kin trash bag, i feel like garbage because In this relapse of my untreated depression since my mother pass away, I even wanted to get cancer or something terminal, agressive and fast just to finally die. My favourite uncle passed away last year from cancer too. And I never trought about anyone like you did, wanting to donate my organs or something, just in my own grief like a crybaby as f*k. And meanwhile the time keeps passing with me alone, I feel less and less human than my youth or anytime I can remember

You're really, really a kind and wonderfull human being. I'm pretty sure you can find some way to sign about a donate. Arround the world are institutions and agreements in hospital for doing that or donate our bodies to science

Thanks for the kind words but please don't be too hard on yourself, it's ironic me saying that considering what i just said about myself but

If we all got judged for what we did or did not do at 16 i think it wouldnt be fair cause we dont have a lot of life experience until like 30s or 40s and even then we still learn id assume.

I think it's admirable that you are thinking of others, despite your suffering. As far as life having meaning, maybe it's just as simple as trying to be a good person and, as a result, a good example to others. Not everyone cares beyond the six inches in front of their own faces. As far as "fat, ugly loser who didn't amount to anything," those just opinions and not facts. None of us chose to be born, so why do we have the responsibility to amount to anything? I'm sure you've amounted to something to those who care about you. Life is hard, and those who have empathy for others surely amount to something, even if it doesn't feel that way.

Thanks for your kindness. it's just that i've never had any healthy relationships where i can trust someone because eventually my trust gets weaponized against me or when i don't agree with everything i get tossed to the side.

So rationally i know what i say about myself might be too harsh but i feel like it's true because my environment for most of my life has been telling me im worthless so maybe i am worthless.

 

[Jan1193]

Thanks for the kind words but please don't be too hard on yourself, it's ironic me saying that considering what i just said about myself but

If we all got judged for what we did or did not do at 16 i think it wouldnt be fair cause we dont have a lot of life experience until like 30s or 40s and even then we still learn id assume.

Thank you so much, really. I don't blame myself about my decisions in the 16's, or even years later. I even stop (most of the times) for not being with my mother when she passed away, thinking I'd would make a diference. the "I had" doesn't exist and I suposs that it just happens on the way that had to be. I blame myself sometimes for haven rotten so much now, in my 30's. It's a vicious cycle, not being able or not wanting to stand up every day. I barely have energy, I just want to dissapear.

I send you love and feel real peace, no matter what. Thank you again, hommie

 

[daruino]

Yes... when I think about how many people live in extreme poverty, are facing hunger, oppression, or war, I feel so guilty. I don't face these hardships but am doing nothing my life and still wish to die...

And from what I know, in my country at least, organ donation is only possible if the donor dies in the hospital (since there is medical equipment needed to keep giving oxygen to the blood, otherwise organs can't be used). Perhaps you could still donate tissues such as skin, or bones. I suggest researching the policy where you live, but organ donation will not be possible.

 

[KlixxFoxe]

I'm sorry that you experienced bad events in your lives, but God loves you as much as he loves a choke with cancer. So the best way to support them both is to keep living and fighting

 

[astonishedturnip]

I think of this all the time. The wrong people die, all the time. I'd much rather be the one dying instead of a child or a young parent with kids to take care of.

 

[TheHolySword]

I think I was brought into this world to suffer, so that others would suffer less. I think some people are born to live a life of pain, so that others don't have to. I hope my death brings better life to someone new.