I want to feel like I feel when I'm asleep

[Surai]

It gets to a point where there doesn't seem to be a point at all. And you realize it's true. That there really isn't anything worth it to live for. There are real animals walking with us. And it's us. How can we reconsider. We can't. In a world such as this glad for death to exist. Glad to be able to die. In such a world. What a disappointment. Of all the dreams we had as kids. Of all the imaginative fun realities we could think of turned out to be fake. And not only fake but somehow mock our current existence. Oh how I wish it were like the dreams we had as kids. The heart beats to pump blood through the body. But I can't keep doing this. This iron mallet pounding at our hearts to remind us how brutal this existence can be. How unforgiving and raw this all is. Sorry to the source of it all to forgive how we may act in such a situation. I can't, I can't act any different when all it is walking the tightrope to make it better or worse. When the between in affected by the wind I don't really have a choice do I, until I am forced. And I feel forced to make such a decision. It not like we want to ok. Do you think we really wanted to do this ever?! It's just that we've been pushed and pushed until we are no longer standing on ground. Until we are in the air falling off a cliff. When even the wind seemed to have contributed l, when even nature is against us. What do you expect us to do. If only we could escape easier. If only the dreams we had were real. If only we decide what we would experience. If only we were already gone.

We wouldn't have to write these words. We wouldn't have to try. We wouldn't have to cry or suffer anymore. When I'm asleep I swear it's more peaceful than peace.

 

[violetforever]

Of all the dreams we had as kids. Of all the imaginative fun realities we could think of turned out to be fake. And not only fake but somehow mock our current existence. Oh how I wish it were like the dreams we had as kids

it hurts way too much to think about. i feel like as a kid, i never even wanted much when i grew up. i truly just wanted reasonable, or what seemed reasonable, comfort and happiness. i couldnt even find that. neither could so many others that are here. it makes me ill.

 

[Surai]

it hurts way too much to think about. i feel like as a kid, i never even wanted much when i grew up. i truly just wanted reasonable, or what seemed reasonable, comfort and happiness. i couldnt even find that. neither could so many others that are here. it makes me ill.

I feel like it was such a slap in the face by life. And not only life but the people in it seemed to form according to it. And this feeling seems to get worse the longer we stay. I hope it isn't too hard to leave and in leaving I hope we find what we were really searching for as kids.