i think it's time to finally end it

[bed]

I've been on and off here for many years and despite trying to get better mentally as well as seek treatment for my physical health/chronic pain, things for the most part have just got worse and worse as the years progressed. my mental health is arguably the worst it's been, my chronic pain despite treatment, medication and physical therapy still dominates my life. i've tried to accept it but i can't or don't want to, i'm not really sure which one it is.. probably the latter. without health you don't have much and the pain is very unforgiving most days. i cancel things i want to do last minute a lot because the pain is too bad to go and it just sucks the life out of me knowing this most likely will be like this for as long as i live.

so.. I'd like for this to be the end of mine. I have enough time alone for no one to interfere with me. i really wish my life was different. if i could have just been physically healthy i think i could have managed to deal with the depression and anxiety. life is not fair though and is unforgiving and is going to go on with or without me.

Idk how many ppl on here even know me or are really even around anymore. thank you though to those that were my friends and made things a bit brighter in the darkest of times. i love you all <3

 

[Macedonian1987]

My life story is very similar like yours. I too suffer from chronic pain and its getting worse as i age. I have been in chronic pain for more than a decade and my mental health is wrecked because of it. I too intend to ctb soon. Probably in the summer of 2026.

 

[avalokitesvara]

We don't know each other, but I'm really sad to hear about your pain having driven you to the brink. Life is brutal. Take care

 

[katara]

I'm contemplating the same right bc I've been here for years and tried talking to ppl. The difference between me and them is they all had ppl interfere and help and I feel like the loneliest person here sometimes bc of those experiences. I have nobody in my life who will ever offer help, I am just wasting time.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this and life is so unfair. I hope you find peace.