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mistymoo

mistymoo

Im going to be apart of the 27 club
May 30, 2024
148
There's a family holiday coming up that I've been holding out for, my last hurray if you will.
Everyone else just gave the go ahead to allowing an incredibly unstable and violent member to this trip. This individual has left bruises and cuts all over me more times than I can count. The worst part tho was every god damn fucking day they would call me awful names (cunt, whore, bitch, reta**, worthless, psycho, slut, etc.) They sent me into a depressive episode that I've never bounce back from. I'm fucking terrified and refuse to be anywhere near them anymore.

The rest of my family will try to push me to go but unless they physically make me then I'll stay behind. I'll have the whole house to myself and I have my method ready to go. Being found out and 'saved' is what's been stopping me.
I'm sad to miss out on this trip but I think this is the universes way of giving me a perfect out. The fomo is strong but the relief of knowing I won't have to feel anything anymore is stronger
 
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UnrulyNightmare

UnrulyNightmare

Wanderer
Jul 3, 2024
298
I'm sorry you won't get to go on the trip you were holding out for!
I don't understand why they would allow such a person to come with.. Sounds horrible 🫂
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,664
That is so horrible and cruel what you went through, I'm sorry you've had to suffer. I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.
 
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Imagined_Euphoria

Imagined_Euphoria

Student
Aug 5, 2024
159
I think about a perfect time constantly, but I'll just do it on some day where I feel really bad. I noticed that weather has a really strong effect on my brain...last week it was so hot on one day that I constantly thought about doing it and cried all the time, but once it rained I calmed down...funny how that works
 
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Evelyn Lane

Evelyn Lane

banned
Aug 2, 2024
330
I think about a perfect time constantly, but I'll just do it on some day where I feel really bad. I noticed that weather has a really strong effect on my brain...last week it was so hot on one day that I constantly thought about doing it and cried all the time, but once it rained I calmed down...funny how that works
Yeah, I'd prefer dying when the weather is nice, but rain also has it's pros. For example, people would be less likely to be around you to save you.

OP, I'm sorry the world hasn't been nice to you. I hope you find peace.
 
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mistymoo

mistymoo

Im going to be apart of the 27 club
May 30, 2024
148
Thank you so much everyone for giving me comfort and replying. It means more than I can express to have all of your support 🤎


Update: I am being pushed into going for at least a day or 2. I've been promised I can go back home after those days 'if I really want too.'

My ctb date is still coming, and it'll be very soon. Whenever I think about it a strong calmness comes over me. It's such a new and welcomed feeling compared to the constant anxiety and depression.

I will continue to update as I can
 

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