SuperioS
all I want is you now
- Jan 16, 2024
- 62
so for a bit of context here i am a male currently 18 years old, and i got a girlfriend (that will be important for later).
In pre-school I always thought I will kill myself when I'm 18 but that obviously did not happend. what happend was I got a girlfriend around december last year and this girl changed everything.
around 3 month in my relationship i tried to kill myself twice because I was really really depressed and around that time she did not bring me any joy like she does now.
Then she changed somehow and then i thought i got a second change. so then we were really close and I wasn't trying to ctb anytime soon i thought. She is till now the joy and everything I have.
A few weeks ago her parents found out we were dating and they were against it so they tried to stop my gf from meeting me but that did not work and after that everything changed. I got death-threaths like crazy from her famaly and we both couldn't take it. she hates her famaly now and we can't see eatch other like we did a few weeks ago and it's makin me crazy. and on top of that i got a crazy famaly too and my famaly hates me. so now i told my gf "If thinks wont get any better i will kill myself" and i think she thought i was sarcastic. I will ctb in like a few weeks i think and i am thinking about telling her. If i don't tell her and my attempt fails somehow i will tell her but i kinda don't want her to have a dead boyfriend like i kinda feel bad for her.
Im sorry but i cant take it. Shes also christian and i hate it and thats the only thing i hate about her. Now i dont want to continue living but i also want to because of her and i have no idea what i should do
In pre-school I always thought I will kill myself when I'm 18 but that obviously did not happend. what happend was I got a girlfriend around december last year and this girl changed everything.
around 3 month in my relationship i tried to kill myself twice because I was really really depressed and around that time she did not bring me any joy like she does now.
Then she changed somehow and then i thought i got a second change. so then we were really close and I wasn't trying to ctb anytime soon i thought. She is till now the joy and everything I have.
A few weeks ago her parents found out we were dating and they were against it so they tried to stop my gf from meeting me but that did not work and after that everything changed. I got death-threaths like crazy from her famaly and we both couldn't take it. she hates her famaly now and we can't see eatch other like we did a few weeks ago and it's makin me crazy. and on top of that i got a crazy famaly too and my famaly hates me. so now i told my gf "If thinks wont get any better i will kill myself" and i think she thought i was sarcastic. I will ctb in like a few weeks i think and i am thinking about telling her. If i don't tell her and my attempt fails somehow i will tell her but i kinda don't want her to have a dead boyfriend like i kinda feel bad for her.
Im sorry but i cant take it. Shes also christian and i hate it and thats the only thing i hate about her. Now i dont want to continue living but i also want to because of her and i have no idea what i should do
