i should be happy

[daleke]

it's getting ridiculous that i always end up back here. i don't know why i can't just shut up and enjoy life and stop sabotaging myself when i've had practically everything handed to me on a silver platter. i'm not depressed because i still go to work, get good grades in university, talk to people, exercise, all that good shit. like i don't even know what my problem is. i committed to not killing myself and the prospect of that just makes me so upset sometimes. i'm angry that i am bound to being alive for the next 50-60 years only because it's too late for me to go without causing massive collateral damage.

 

[timf]

You might consider experimenting with an artistic endeavor like writing, art, music, wood carving, sculpting, etc.

The creative process can provide a level of satisfaction that can be a boost in life. This can be useful especially if you can see your own progress.

 

[derekWest]

it's getting ridiculous that i always end up back here. i don't know why i can't just shut up and enjoy life and stop sabotaging myself when i've had practically everything handed to me on a silver platter. i'm not depressed because i still go to work, get good grades in university, talk to people, exercise, all that good shit. like i don't even know what my problem is. i committed to not killing myself and the prospect of that just makes me so upset sometimes. i'm angry that i am bound to being alive for the next 50-60 years only because it's too late for me to go without causing massive collateral damage.

There is necessarily something. Are you alone? Not loved ? Maybe hormonal problem ?

 

[TekkenPlayer]

it's getting ridiculous that i always end up back here. i don't know why i can't just shut up and enjoy life and stop sabotaging myself when i've had practically everything handed to me on a silver platter. i'm not depressed because i still go to work, get good grades in university, talk to people, exercise, all that good shit. like i don't even know what my problem is. i committed to not killing myself and the prospect of that just makes me so upset sometimes. i'm angry that i am bound to being alive for the next 50-60 years only because it's too late for me to go without causing massive collateral damage.

I feel this too and I hate it. I have so much to live for yet I don't really care and ironically while on my younger years I was socially practically a hermit, nowadays im very social and many people would be saddened to hear about my death
This middle point of not dying but also not living my life properly is extremely frustrating I've been dealing with this for like 2 years 3 years something like that I just want to finally take a decision whether to find peace or just shut up and engage in life properly damnit

 

[Hero Remeer]

Considering that you work and study, you may be under a lot of pressure and not paying attention to it. In that sense, you could add some activities to your routine that you truly enjoy and find fun. Life isn't just about worries, but also moments of joy and calm. The idea is to find a balance with this.
That's what I think. I hope it helps. Best regards, and be well.