I sank back down

[Lux]

I don't know where I screwed up. I was doing kind of okay for the past ~3 months and then I just stalled.

I haven't done anything productive in the last 3 weeks, I've just been here, sitting and listening to music. It feels wrong, but I can't/don't want to do anything. I don't know how to describe it. Everything feels heavy or I feel powerless. Something like that.

I kind of didn't want to log back onto here but, here I am. I'm just kind of lost.

This might sound crazy, but I have never actually been to therapy... It's just that the idea of talking to someone face-to-face about this doesn't feel right. I just overall don't like talking to people. And I thought that was fine because I was able to get back on my feet last year, but as you know, I managed to screw that up somehow. Aand yeah to get to that conclusion, I avoided therapy for 4 years... That sounds so dumb when I read it out loud, but I can't fix that anymore. I know that the best thing to do here would probably be just going to therapy, but I just can't.

I don't know what to do. Like, do I just ride it out and hope for the best?

 

[timf]

You may wish to give yourself credit for having achieved the success you have already had. This more than anything else points to the possibility of a brighter future. If things are dark now, you have the knowledge that you have made them better in the past and will almost certainly make them bright again.

You may wish to both ride it out as well as experiment while you are waiting with things that you can try.

 

[Makko]

This might sound crazy, but I have never actually been to therapy...

I understand this well. I'd never be comfortable with anything of the sort, no matter the promised benefits.

 

[sadworld]

Therapy isn't something someone needs to do. Therapy can even make things worse for some people and definitely doesn't work for many of us. If things don't get better it would make sense to maybe consider going to therapy.

You've already made things better in the past and I believe you can do it again! Hugs!

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Yep. Ups and downs. If a down lasts very long, I force myself to do something. It's difficult but I know it will help, maybe just a little bit but I'll take whatever I can get.

As for therapy, I have been a couple of times, three visits each time. It was to discuss a very particular problem. The first time was a great success, the second time not so much.

As for the current situation, I will not go for therapy. I am getting better, day by day, with the help from people here and some very astute observations they have posted, along with time passing and trying to stay busy.

Don't give up! You have done this before so you can do it again. Hang in there!