Help I need advice

[ropeburns&migranes]

I attempted 2-3 years back and was forced into a mental ward for a couple days and therapy after. As far as my parents know I'm "all better". But the last couple months a bunch of things happened that I'm honestly not gonna get into but I'm no longer in university/college nor do I have a job. I'm basically just a neet now. My parents think I'm studying all day to get back into post-secondary school but what I've actually been doing is planning my suicide again. I just got my gun license in the mail a couple days ago and planning on buying a 12 gauge to ctb. I don't know what it is but a part of me tells me I should talk to my parents before doing it. My dad even said if I were ever die before him he would commit suicide too. I think I'm starting to have doubts about ctb because of them. But whenever i try to imagine my future… I just can't and I just don't want to be here anymore. So my question is, should I tell my parents about my thought and plans with a shotgun? Alternatively, what are some good locations to shoot myself because I don't want my parents cleaning up my brains. Anything helps, thanks

 

[ForgottenAgain]

If you tell your parents, and if they are good parents, they'll most likely do anything in their power to stop you from ctb. You may get put in a ward against your will.
The best way to successfully ctb is to not tell anyone, as that prevents people from saving you. Having said that, if you're having second thoughts, that may be a sign that it's not your time yet.

I don't know your age nor your full story, but from this post I'm assuming you're quite young and based on what you said regarding your father ctb if you were to die first, that gives me an idea that he loves you very much.

Based on this, I'd ask: have you exhausted all your options?

 

[2messdup]

I attempted 2-3 years back and was forced into a mental ward for a couple days and therapy after. As far as my parents know I'm "all better". But the last couple months a bunch of things happened that I'm honestly not gonna get into but I'm no longer in university/college nor do I have a job. I'm basically just a neet now. My parents think I'm studying all day to get back into post-secondary school but what I've actually been doing is planning my suicide again. I just got my gun license in the mail a couple days ago and planning on buying a 12 gauge to ctb. I don't know what it is but a part of me tells me I should talk to my parents before doing it. My dad even said if I were ever die before him he would commit suicide too. I think I'm starting to have doubts about ctb because of them. But whenever i try to imagine my future… I just can't and I just don't want to be here anymore. So my question is, should I tell my parents about my thought and plans with a shotgun? Alternatively, what are some good locations to shoot myself because I don't want my parents cleaning up my brains. Anything helps, thanks

How did you get a gun licence when you've been sectioned previously? That's fucked up. Yes you should tell your parents imo. At least give them the chance to help you this time. I'm not a pro-lifer by any means but you can't judge what your future life possibilities are on the basis of a couple of months. I think this time you owe it to your parents to tell them at least that you're having strong suicidal thoughts.

 

[ropeburns&migranes]

How did you get a gun licence when you've been sectioned previously? That's fucked up. Yes you should tell your parents imo. At least give them the chance to help you this time. I'm not a pro-lifer by any means but you can't judge what your future life possibilities are on the basis of a couple of months. I think this time you owe it to your parents to tell them at least that you're having strong suicidal thoughts.

I honestly have no idea how I managed to get approved. I was half expecting to get rejected but still thought it was worth a shot, then boom! (No pun intended). I want to tell them but I don't think there's any way they can help at this point. I feel completely hopeless and everything I do now to get better is futile. Thanks for the input though

 

[coffeebeany]

I honestly have no idea how I managed to get approved. I was half expecting to get rejected but still thought it was worth a shot, then boom! (No pun intended). I want to tell them but I don't think there's any way they can help at this point. I feel completely hopeless and everything I do now to get better is futile. Thanks for the input though

I am no pro lifer. And I also have been in situations that seemed hopeless and the outcome catastrophic. Having said that I also know that, cognitively, we are not capable of predicting or knowing about all possible outcomes when making a choice. You said sth like you don't see how your parents could help you at this point. If you have doubts and are not sure talking to your parents is an option. Maybe they can help and maybe they can't but you ll only know afterwards. From what you say, I can hear that they love you. Ctb will always be an option but you may want to make sure that you have exhausted all other options.

 

[saltytears]

I agree with what the others are saying above...Leaving college or a job does not mean life is over by any means. You are young and people can and do make changes, find new path, or unexpected job or opportunities. Sometimes its a struggle to find what makes you happy and feeling productive. Maybe tell them you are feeling conflicted, lost, unsure. I think sometimes it just takes getting chances to shadow other people at work, see what is out there....find people to help you network and find a direction. You probably have a lot to offer and you have parents that seem to want to support you...maybe they have friends who can help you navigate what is out there.....praying for you to find the right path.....

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

If your father is saying that your death is his death, than you owe it to him to talk to him about it and come clean about everything. He seems like he truly cares, so don't hold back.

If uni isn't for you, then fck it. College is becoming more overrated by the year. You can find something you like and open your own business. You might even have grads working for you.