I love making people happy but it breaks my heart when people ctb never having found what they wanted

[Suicidebydeath]

I noticed people on here had been missing something their whole lives, but they weren't on the site for long and had just failed a ctb. Maybe they've passed on now without having found any happiness, or maybe they're feeling better. It breaks my heart either way.

Someone that remembered me from my streams asked me for some pre-release cut content from about a decade ago that isn't available anywhere else, and I was happy to help as I was able to find the files on my hard drive. I just wish I could do more... I hate when people disappear before I notice them. I don't spend much time on the site anymore. I should stream again, but it's really hard. I miss being santa on stream.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I wish this site was recovery orientated but I understand since its literally a suicide site. Many people who CTB'ed on here could have been saved if received help and support :(

 

[Adûnâi]

Many people who CTB'ed on here could have been saved if received help and support :(

The words that @FuneralCry would deservedly get triggered by, haha.

Maybe they've passed on now without having found any happiness, or maybe they're feeling better. It breaks my heart either way.

I respect suicide in theory, but in my personal experience, what hurt me the most is the idea that the girl would rope while feeling abandoned or broken. I can only greet suicide as a willful gesture given the cards - "In this situation, a happy ending is too improbable, so I'm making an informed decision" sounds dignified. A part of me wants to draw a pretty picture.

There's probably some literary trope on the topic - after all, Gogol described it in Taras Bulba (1835) when the protagonist Russian cossack is tortured by the Poles, and his father makes himself known in the crowd in his final moments. Something something Protoss khala lmao.

 

[noname223]

I noticed people on here had been missing something their whole lives, but they weren't on the site for long and had just failed a ctb. Maybe they've passed on now without having found any happiness, or maybe they're feeling better. It breaks my heart either way.

Someone that remembered me from my streams asked me for some pre-release cut content from about a decade ago that isn't available anywhere else, and I was happy to help as I was able to find the files on my hard drive. I just wish I could do more... I hate when people disappear before I notice them. I don't spend much time on the site anymore. I should stream again, but it's really hard. I miss being santa on stream.


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This is lovely. I have high respect for people who barely have anything but still care about others. Probably because my fight for survival makes me pretty selfish. I think due to the way I was raised I prioritize myself even in this anecdote. But no honestly this is very sweet you seem be a very good person who deserves a better life!