I just want this to stop

[SadGirl]

Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.

 

[uiop]

I can relate. I don't want to die: I want a way out. The only problem is I don't see any options to escape other than death.

 

[Jodes]

I wish I could understand why her condition makes you feel like that, but you described your pain incredibly well, I've had moments feeling like that. Definitely crying spells. Hard to admit for a bloke. My mum was an alcoholic tho.

 

[Elek]

Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.

It's horrible when you realize that you can't really trust your parents even thought you can neither blame them.

Hugs.

 

[SadGirl]

I wish I could understand why her condition makes you feel like that, but you described your pain incredibly well, I've had moments feeling like that. Definitely crying spells. Hard to admit for a bloke. My mum was an alcoholic tho.

because I love my mother, and I care about her, I wanted my life to be different
[QUOTE = "Elek, post: 273941, membro: 5422"]
É horrível quando você percebe que não pode realmente confiar em seus pais, mesmo achando que não pode culpá-los.

Abraços : aw:
[/CITAR]
Thank you very much :c

 

[Jodes]

Thanks for explaining - I think I do understand now. Similar with my father, I hate to say it but he is getting older. I'm older. Time's disappeared. And it's disappearing. I've made nothing of it yet, how can anything come of the rest. I can't handle conscious moments anymore. I'm going to hurt my gf and father so much, I cry every time I think about things I have written or might write in my notes. It's the worst part, writing the notes. I have to do it in stages so I can see what I'm doing lol

 

[Mort]

It's horrible when you realize that you can't really trust your parents even thought you can neither blame them.

Hugs.

Are parents the ultimate betrayal its my father that did it for me . Went around tell people i new private stuff about me . Then ejen je ran out of those he started to make suff up. Never had a ho at him a my mother would get court up in the middle. But i learned sum very important you can never really trust any one especially those that are close to you. Thats way i ended up alone for ten years or so odd thing is i having to live with my parents but dont chat or share much these days. Know going to sound odd but i get the felling that the human race was one BIG mistake . Any how i best stop my ramblings LOL :)

 

[Ruffian]

Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.

I'm sorry you have to live like that. This is the exact reason I never had kids - I've struggled with addiction my entire life and would never want to drag a child into it. Of course you question your existence SadGirl, you have to take care of her when it's supposed to be the other way around.

 

[SadGirl]

Are parents the ultimate betrayal its my father that did it for me . Went around tell people i new private stuff about me . Then ejen je ran out of those he started to make suff up. Never had a ho at him a my mother would get court up in the middle. But i learned sum very important you can never really trust any one especially those that are close to you. Thats way i ended up alone for ten years or so odd thing is i having to live with my parents but dont chat or share much these days. Know going to sound odd but i get the felling that the human race was one BIG mistake . Any how i best stop my ramblings LOL :)

Yes, humans are the worst thing that could exist