I was going to CTB tomorrow but there is something in me saying I need to get help. Everything else in me no longer wants to try. I am not a good person and I don't want to keep living. Why am I breaking down when it's time to get things rolling? Should I try to get help and get better? I have given up on so much because I have been planning to go. My life is in shambles. Please help me not feel so alone right now as I debate spilling it all to my family.
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BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,359
Hey, maybe you're breaking down becuase it's not your time yet. It's OK if it's not, it's OK to want to seek help and try again. There is no hurry to ctb. I'm sure you're not a bad person, we've all made mistakes and done things we aren't proud of, it's part of being human. You're really not alone, sending love 
Broken Chimera
The abyss also gazes into you
- May 27, 2019
- 972
You're having doubts and there's nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't go through with it until you're absolutely sure you're done with life. Take things one step at a time and focus on what you want.
TheDevilsAngel
LetMeFree
- Apr 22, 2019
- 827
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
Well, would you like to talk about what the challenges are in your life? Maybe some here on SS could give suggestions.
I say this because folks really do listen and come up with good stuff.
Families, however...they're likely to: 1) want you to do things to make them feel better and not have to worry; 2) freak out; it will be about their reaction, not the supportive response you need; 3) possibly try to push you to do things you want, make promises you don't mean etc.; 4) possibly try to get you put in an institutional setting because they think it would help.
Just be prepared for a shit storm with long-term aftershocks if you reach out to them for help. Maybe ask for suggestions for addressing specific issues, don't mention the motivation for asking is to stop ctb. But I suggest if you're in early adulthood to try to find what you need from other sources.
This is a good opportunity, if you choose to live, to individuate from your family, which will give you more needed self-confidence for managing life if you choose to live.
I say this because folks really do listen and come up with good stuff.
Families, however...they're likely to: 1) want you to do things to make them feel better and not have to worry; 2) freak out; it will be about their reaction, not the supportive response you need; 3) possibly try to push you to do things you want, make promises you don't mean etc.; 4) possibly try to get you put in an institutional setting because they think it would help.
Just be prepared for a shit storm with long-term aftershocks if you reach out to them for help. Maybe ask for suggestions for addressing specific issues, don't mention the motivation for asking is to stop ctb. But I suggest if you're in early adulthood to try to find what you need from other sources.
This is a good opportunity, if you choose to live, to individuate from your family, which will give you more needed self-confidence for managing life if you choose to live.
WhiteEyes
always late
- Jan 20, 2020
- 67
If you honestly believe you can get better and your family can help you out then you should do it.
What's made you feel that you are a bad person? Why is your life a shambles?
Talking to your family may indeed be tough for them and you. But like with any gamble it may be worth taking the risk.
If you do, be honest and try to be calm and expect some potential confusion and upset before they have the chance to help you.
And do you want their actual help or just for them to accept your feelings and listen? It's can be hard to listen but it can also be hard to accept help even when you've asked for it, especially if the help isn't what you were expecting.
Good luck.
Talking to your family may indeed be tough for them and you. But like with any gamble it may be worth taking the risk.
If you do, be honest and try to be calm and expect some potential confusion and upset before they have the chance to help you.
And do you want their actual help or just for them to accept your feelings and listen? It's can be hard to listen but it can also be hard to accept help even when you've asked for it, especially if the help isn't what you were expecting.
Good luck.
Lostandfound7
Just waiting....
- Jan 21, 2020
- 995
Hello friend,
Im new here and this is my first post. The fact that u even recognize u need help,is a sign that u just need to rethink things. Ur life may presently b in shambles, as mine is, n I honestly feel like I'm at the end of my rope.no more strength left.But Ur asking for help can b a signal that u still have even a small glimmer of hope.Find out even one thing that u find hope in n hold on until u see no more.U needed help n that's what we're here for until u finally decide..And in answer to ur ques, u should ABSOLUTELY try to get help n get better.U still sound hopeful.N if u have hope for yourself,so do we.That's all u need..
Im new here and this is my first post. The fact that u even recognize u need help,is a sign that u just need to rethink things. Ur life may presently b in shambles, as mine is, n I honestly feel like I'm at the end of my rope.no more strength left.But Ur asking for help can b a signal that u still have even a small glimmer of hope.Find out even one thing that u find hope in n hold on until u see no more.U needed help n that's what we're here for until u finally decide..And in answer to ur ques, u should ABSOLUTELY try to get help n get better.U still sound hopeful.N if u have hope for yourself,so do we.That's all u need..
Something is telling you to get help, follow that something. Suicide is always an option only after you've exhausted all other options. It sounds like you haven't exhausted all your options yet.
Quarky00
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2019
- 1,956
Was wondering exactly that.. @Unspoken , many here feel broken , "bad person" , or immense guilt (sometimes induced by others) . I understand that . Your situation or the way you may have hurt others is not your fault
You answered yourself. If a 1% inside you feels help possible, yes.
I wouldn't tell family everything. Share your severe distress and pain, ask for help and support, but people react badly to a full-blown ctb.......
I don't know why do want to CTB, unless you're willing to share, but I'm here for you to chat about anything that bothers you.
I am sorry for your suffering, and I want you to know it's not too late to try. You might be glad you did. If not, you have the peace of mind knowing that you tried everything.
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
" there is something in me saying I need to get help. " Well, listen to this inner voice then. It's your soul saying to you you haven't used all your options. We all make mistakes, we all have things we feel guilty about. It's good that you have the self awareness and necessary introspection to admit you've acted in ways that are morally questionable - it's a very good start. You don't want to identify with the "bad person " in you, you're willing to better yourself by getting help .
And if you feel like your family is capable of understanding you, and supporting you, sure, don't be shy to shout for help.
AlreadyGone
Taking it day by day
- Jan 11, 2020
- 917
If a voice inside of you is telling you to get help, then you should get help. It sounds as if you are not ready and you should exhaust all options first.
