I just can't take this situation anymore.

[SadGirl]

I've been dating for almost four years. In the beginning, everything was fine. We didn't fight; she was more affectionate, attentive, and kind. During these years together, I needed her financial help, and I'm currently unemployed and can't afford it. This really irritates her, which is the reason for all our fights. She's changed a lot with me, and I've changed too. I'm trying to improve too. But she goes out every night to hang out with friends and doesn't even talk to me properly. We live a little far from each other, but she always comes to see me every weekend. She really seems to love me, but it seems like something, maybe the spark, has faded. I feel alone in this relationship. She doesn't talk to me, only superficial conversations and things like that. Like me, she also says she's worn out by my constant need for her money. She doesn't mean any harm, of course, but that doesn't justify her rudeness, sarcasm, and aggression toward me. I really don't know what to do and I want the honest opinion of anyone willing to talk and help me. I'm very emotionally dependent on her. The other day, for the first time, she said she was going to break up with me. I panicked, felt so bad, and almost went to the emergency room.

 

[hippiedeath]

Relationships are like that. The longer you're together, the harder it gets. I wish I had something comforting to say. It always starts well. I can't say avoid relationships, I'd be a hypocrite. Just watch your own ass above all else.

 

[Ashu]

Well, the most obvious suggestion is that your getting a job would be the best thing for your relationship. Is that impossible? I ask without judgment, having myself been too fucked up to work for much of my life.

 

[The Morningstar]

I'm torn between saying "It sounds like it has gone toxic, so end it" and giving you advice on how to mend it.
Torn because I don't know the whole story, and it's possible that you are only sharing the worst parts here.

Take some quizzes like, "Is my relationship toxic?" just to get some clarity while you consider it from all angles.

If you do decide to rekindle the spark, try looking up resources on how to re-enter/reignite the honeymoon phase of the relationship. "Re-enter the honeymoon phase" as a search term will help sift through the dross, as most "rekindle" articles tend to be for older folk.

And hey, pick her some flowers, ok? Or make her favorite food. Some simple, thoughtful, cheap gesture to get the ball rolling; gain some momentum.

Best of luck to you.

 

[SadGirl]

Well, the most obvious suggestion is that your getting a job would be the best thing for your relationship. Is that impossible? I ask without judgment, having myself been too fucked up to work for much of my life.

Yes, maybe it would be better. And I need a job.