Venting I have thoughts of ending my life

[iwishtoturnbacktime]

I have recently lost my girlfriend to suicide, I never left pain like this ever. This isn't the first time I've lost a loved one to suicide. I lost my cousin roughly 6 years ago. It was painful but I was able to overcome that pain but this pain is too much to bare. She didn't want to alone but I couldn't take my own life with her. I wanted her with me but I didn't want to suffer in this world. I don't blame her and I'm glad she is free but I still feel alone. My thoughts of suicide are slowing increasing and I don't know if I have the guts to die the same way she did. I rather speed down the highway and crash into a tree but I don't want my parents to suffer as well. I'm I selfish or am I weak? I really wish I can turn back time or have the power to change this disgusting world. I'm weak, a loser and I'm not good enough anymore!

 

[L'absent]

What you are going through is a profound pain that feels boundless and inescapable. It's natural to feel overwhelmed, even broken, when you lose someone you loved so deeply. Your grief is a testament to the connection you shared with her, and there is nothing weak or selfish about what you're feeling.
Grief is chaotic and unpredictable, and there is no roadmap for navigating it. You don't need to 'move on' or fix it right away. You just need to allow yourself to exist with what you're feeling, even if it's unbearable. It's not weakness to feel lost; it's a natural response to something that has shaken the foundation of your life.
Allowing yourself to feel this pain also means recognizing that you don't have to face it alone. There will be moments when the weight feels unbearable, and in those moments, finding a safe space or someone to help you carry it can make a difference, even if only for a little while.
What you are feeling does not define your worth. You are not a failure. You are someone who is enduring something unspeakably hard and, despite everything, is still searching for a way forward. And that, in itself, is an act of immense courage.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss. What you have to go through is so awful but it's not your fault!

You're neither weak nor a loser in any case!

 

[Depressive_Thoughts]

What you are going through is a profound pain that feels boundless and inescapable. It's natural to feel overwhelmed, even broken, when you lose someone you loved so deeply. Your grief is a testament to the connection you shared with her, and there is nothing weak or selfish about what you're feeling.
Grief is chaotic and unpredictable, and there is no roadmap for navigating it. You don't need to 'move on' or fix it right away. You just need to allow yourself to exist with what you're feeling, even if it's unbearable. It's not weakness to feel lost; it's a natural response to something that has shaken the foundation of your life.
Allowing yourself to feel this pain also means recognizing that you don't have to face it alone. There will be moments when the weight feels unbearable, and in those moments, finding a safe space or someone to help you carry it can make a difference, even if only for a little while.
What you are feeling does not define your worth. You are not a failure. You are someone who is enduring something unspeakably hard and, despite everything, is still searching for a way forward. And that, in itself, is an act of immense courage.

holy crap, bro... you could be a psychologyst, you know? That's some fine writting there. Such warm and sensitive response. I'm sure @wishtoturnbacktime is going to feel better after such beautiful human demonstration of empathy.

 

[L'absent]

holy crap, bro... you could be a psychologyst, you know? That's some fine writting there. Such warm and sensitive response. I'm sure @wishtoturnbacktime is going to feel better after such beautiful human demonstration of empathy.

Thank you so much for your words. I don't think I have any particularly special qualities, but I try to respond with authenticity and understanding. Sometimes, what we need most isn't a solution, but simply someone who truly sees us and acknowledges what we're going through. If these words can bring even a small amount of comfort or connection, then I'm deeply grateful.

 

[iwishtoturnbacktime]

The only pain I can give myself is destroying my muscles but even so I want to scream!! I hate myself!