I have SN but I still don't have the courage to do CTB

[Versailles]

Almost a week ago I tried CTB with SN but the SI stopped me, I still have my SN stored in a backpack and so far I haven't had the real courage to do it

The only thing that keeps me here are 2 friendships I have and the expectation of achieving something significant for me in November or December

 

[divinemistress36]

I have SN and dont have the courage yet either

 

[LostSoul1965]

Not uncommon. Me as well.

 

[JustAnx]

I would say wait until that thing you're waiting to happen. And see how the results make you feel.

 

[Passersby]

Same. I've had SN but haven't been able to do it yet either. I hope it doesn't go bad eventually. If so then there are other methods or maybe I could acquire it again.

 

[Lost Magic]

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear that despite having a reliable means of exit that the pesky SI still gets in the way (everyone's SI is different due to individual circumstances and more). I'm glad that you still have some left for the future if you ever choose to go later down the road. Nevertheless, for now, I hope things will work out for you in whatever endeavor you set out to go for. I myself also have to worry about SI possibly interfering or making me hesitate if/when I get to the moment of CTB (hopefully I won't hesitate and it'll be the perfect moment, time and circumstance aligned almost perfectly, then I would go through smoothly and successfully).

 

[Demian]

Me too! The only thing I'm missing is metoclopramide, but I confess I'm scared just thinking about it.

I had the courage to take 21 grams of phenobarbital and 3 grams of morphine last year, and now I'm afraid to take SN

 

[Leyna]

Same. I've had it for almost a week now. I'm in a position where I have plenty of opportunities to do it, but I'm waiting for...something, I guess

I know it's not necessary but I would also like to wait and see if I can get ahold of benzos too

 

[TimetoGo!]

I have SN and dont have the courage yet either

Same here

 

[NeoN0va]

Same here. I was to ctb the last day of august, but everything failed. Now, I have practically everything besides nitrite test strips and metoclopramide.

 

[TimetoGo!]

Same. I've had it for almost a week now. I'm in a position where I have plenty of opportunities to do it, but I'm waiting for...something, I guess

I know it's not necessary but I would also like to wait and see if I can get ahold of benzos too

 

[Lost21]

I am in the same position

 

[willow115]

The sn isn't going anywhere. I would put it aside and walk towards the coming months in peace knowing that.

 

[DeadAgain]

I feel the same way.
I had everything prepared and then I lost my courage.
Luckily I had ordered 2 kilograms(!) of SN. So I still have enough to try again.

 

[maniac116]

Then maybe it's just not the right time yet

 

[Just_Another_Person]

As it was said in some topic, there is no shame in backing out. You said yourself, you still have 2 friends and are expecting something in November/December.

 

[KudzuTrailblazer]

I feel the same way, I don't have SN yet (I'm not sure why weird emotions IG), but don't do anything you think you'll regret.

 

[radar311]

Same here.. I'd really want to go and I have everything planned, but just doesn't have courage.

 

[justwannadip]

Almost a week ago I tried CTB with SN but the SI stopped me, I still have my SN stored in a backpack and so far I haven't had the real courage to do it

The only thing that keeps me here are 2 friendships I have and the expectation of achieving something significant for me in November or December

This is what I know will happen to me too. I have SN and all the necessary antiemetics and benzos, but I know that 15 minutes of vomiting, fast heart rate, and anxiety is too much for me to not call for help. I'm thinking about the nitrogen method but the setup requires a lot of time and energy, not to mention the cost of sourcing all the materials.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

One day we will all have to face death, regardless if we have the courage to face it or not.