Venting i have no right to be suicidal

[uglymisanthr0pe]

i feel so selfish

my life isn't so bad, and I find myself pondering that my life is the worst. nothing feels real and everything's so numb. anything good that happens feels like a temporary happiness even if it is big. im losing empathy for this fucked up world. i hate to sound stereotypical but the world is fucked up. part of my depression is due to what i hear happening around me. it just distresses me even more.

im slowing starting to not care about anyone around me. it is raising my thoughts about homicide and suicide.

im so tired and lazy i dont know why i wont stand up and CTb already.

 

[Daphne]

Don't take on others' misfortune if you're living a comfortable life. Accept the fact that some are lucky and some aren't, its just the way it is.
If I was in the lucky camp, I would make an effort not to watch the news or other depressing stuff. I would be thankful for the life I have and not take it for granted. I would definitely not be on a website with miserable people. And as a miserable person, I wouldn't wish my life on anyone except the people who caused me pain.
If it makes you feel better, donate your time or money to a good cause.

 

[Jadeith]

i feel so selfish

You are tormented. By your own mind. And world around you doesn't make it any easier. Nothing selfish about it.
And when your mind is against you, nearly no amount of happiness will feel enough. Not your fault. You did nothing to bring this curse upon yourself. You didn't ask to feel numb, disconnected and indifferent. It's ok to feel tired, nothing lazy about it. Depression fucks up both your mental and physical abilities.
And you won't stand up and ctb because there's still some of you left in that dull landscape of your mind. That part which refuses to give up.

 

[Jorvak]

i feel so selfish

my life isn't so bad, and I find myself pondering that my life is the worst. nothing feels real and everything's so numb. anything good that happens feels like a temporary happiness even if it is big. im losing empathy for this fucked up world. i hate to sound stereotypical but the world is fucked up. part of my depression is due to what i hear happening around me. it just distresses me even more.

im slowing starting to not care about anyone around me. it is raising my thoughts about homicide and suicide.

im so tired and lazy i dont know why i wont stand up and CBT already.

Everyone's suffering is valid. Your distress and despair is perfectly valid, and you aren't selfish for it.

Even if your life may not "appear" bad on the surface, there is more to a persons need that having their most basic needs met. People want to feel like they live in an environment where they are safe, where they exist in dignity, and especially for reasonably empathetic people, where other people around them aren't suffering.

If i'm reading you correctly, If you're like me, you feel truly disturbed that we have societies that not only do not enable people to live in dignity with their suffering minimized, but where its perpetuated, and where so many people are marginalized and discriminated against. You are in distress over this and it brings you down.

It just goes to show that a fucked up society that marginalizes people and prevents human dignity for all, brings down everyone. It feels meaningless to participate in a society that exist to make a group of people wealthy at the expense of everyone else and marginalizes other people in their existence. I know i find it pointless because of this.

 

[U. A.]

im slowing starting to not care about anyone around me. it is raising my thoughts about homicide

...you know what the name of this website is, right?

 

[gunmetalblue]

...you know what the name of this website is, right?

Apparently homicide-hotline

 

[Cauliflour]

Neither do I and yet here I am. Don't think about it too much, the human brain is fucking weird and can want to kill itself over a multitude of reasons. You could be living in the height of luxury and it can still figure out a way to be suicidal.

 

[uglymisanthr0pe]

...you know what the name of this website is, right?

yeah a little ironic

 

[A_Spartan_Dead]

i feel so selfish

my life isn't so bad, and I find myself pondering that my life is the worst. nothing feels real and everything's so numb. anything good that happens feels like a temporary happiness even if it is big. im losing empathy for this fucked up world. i hate to sound stereotypical but the world is fucked up. part of my depression is due to what i hear happening around me. it just distresses me even more.

im slowing starting to not care about anyone around me. it is raising my thoughts about homicide and suicide.

im so tired and lazy i dont know why i wont stand up and CTb already.

Go on, explain what your life is like.
The homicide thoughts I'd be worried about, ctb is normal.