I have decided to ctb on January 23

[Sphinxi]

I think I will drink a little bit, do public self harm (cutting my face, stabbing myself, hitting myself with a hammer etc), and then throw myself off of a bridge. The view is very nice, and the drop is definitely sufficient. I feel excited and at peace.

Over the next two weeks I will finish up my notes, my personal writings, and figure out what I want to do with my assets

 

[dalemar]

If this is your will, I hope you are able to get peace you deserve, and that everything goes according to your will.
I wish you all the best!

 

[kurgan]

What's the purpose of public self harm for?

 

[sweetdrowning]

If you decide to public self harm, make sure you don't get caught before you can actually jump. I'm sure you know this, though. Sending warmth, I hope you find peace.

 

[Sphinxi]

What's the purpose of public self harm for?

It's the only thing I really enjoy anymore. There's this rush that I get from having someone watch me damage myself that feels exhilarating and fulfilling. It's hard to explain why.

If you decide to public self harm, make sure you don't get caught before you can actually jump. I'm sure you know this, though. Sending warmth, I hope you find peace.

I will almost certainly not get caught, I am typically just gawked at haha. I cut or hit myself in public almost daily these days.

 

[kurgan]

There's this rush that I get from having someone watch me damage myself

Would that be classed as sadistic personality disorder?

 

[Sphinxi]

Would that be classed as sadistic personality disorder?

It's not really taking pleasure in their suffering. Instead, what I like is that I know that they are recognizing that I am a person who is suffering, and I am elated by the feeling of someone having sympathy for me.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

It's not really taking pleasure in their suffering. Instead, what I like is that I know that they are recognizing that I am a person who is suffering, and I am elated by the feeling of someone having sympathy for me.

I understand this feeling. Makes me feel less alone. I wish you well!

 

[kurgan]

It's not really taking pleasure in their suffering. Instead, what I like is that I know that they are recognizing that I am a person who is suffering, and I am elated by the feeling of someone having sympathy for me.

I see, all the best

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you deserve