I hate the feeling that people doesn't believe that I can't work/study

[FigEnjoyer]

I hate this feeling so much, like the doctors/my mom doesn't believe that my brain is somehow broken.

I can't work, I can't study but the thing is I doesn't look like someone broken. I look like someone happy, I can laugh, I can smile but I'm so tired inside. It's like I'm burned-out and stressed-out every second of my life.

What does this have to do with a suicide forum ? It's the fact that they force me to try going to university or go to work but that makes me so suicidal. I'm so frustrated with all these failures but my mom each time repeat to me "You have to try, or else you will become a homeless man in the future, you will have nothing and be miserable", like what the fuck?? I told her I was depressed, she knows about my stress but she talk to me like I'm sane, like she's ignoring my mental disease. I know that already, that deep inside I'm gonna be homeless if I continue to live long enough... But saying it in my face like that is so heartbreaking, maybe she thought that it would wake me up, that I would be functionnal with fear induced motivation... But that doesn't work like that for me.

And the doctors are worst, saying "You are too young to suffer like that, it's more old person who went through a lot of trauma that are like this, you seem happy looking", "So you really think that there is something broken in your brain ? I don't think so, it's not broken, let's talk and we will fix this" and so many others idiots arguments.

Sorry for bad english.

 

[AnimeSlayersFan]

Why don't you try finding out in what way it is broken? I hate the fact that I didn't start my diagnosis process earlier (getting assessed for autism/adhd at the moment)

Would you like to live if you could work/study without hating yourself? Maybe they are not good enough for you to realize your struggles or diagnose them, but you don't need them.
You need to find the help that YOU need. At least knowing what's up inside your head, then making your choice on what to do next.

 

[CeaseExist]

Yeah, the doctors are the worst in this. I've literally had a doctor tell me that "it doesn't work that way" when I told her about my mental state - like, bitch, mental illness doesn't equal mental retardation, I am fully mentally capable, probably even more than you, but constantly suffering and having gazillion of problems.

So yeah, of course you look happy and of course you don't look like you are broken - do not give in to that shitty and skewed perception society and healthy people have on mental problems, they associate mental problems with totally broken down people who do not function in any way, even if you are doing 10% they will try and tell you that you are just lazy or making things up, just because it makes them uncomfortable since your state looks eerily familiar to their child/cousin/sibling/friend, so yeah, bam and suddenly cognitive dissociation kicks in for them.

When I was 16 I had a psychiatrist tell me I don't have depression and don't have any mental problems because I showered and took care of my appearance XD ???!!!!!???!!! WHAT EVEN IS THAT LOGIC, how did she reach that conclusion while sitting there for an hour, listening to HOW FUCKING TORTURED I AM and with how many problems and challenges I was dealing with just to pull through the day.

Seriously, +1 to @AnimeSlayersFan - you are the only one responsible fully for yourself, you are the only one that can love you fully and take care of you. If you want to see change and to see some progress you will unfortunately have to fight for it, especially with doctors who at least in my country, in my opinion, shouldn't even have licenses. Give yourself a break and space for fucking up and getting criticized and having uncomfortable situations and emotions as you try to take a hold of your own life.

 

[AnimeSlayersFan]

""When I was 16 I had a psychiatrist tell me I don't have depression and don't have any mental problems because I showered and took care of my appearance XD ???!!!!!???!!! WHAT EVEN IS THAT LOGIC, how did she reach that conclusion while sitting there for an hour, listening to HOW FUCKING TORTURED I AM and with how many problems and challenges I was dealing with just to pull through the day.""

Duuuuude when I cut a gash on my arm with a big kitchen knife, my psychologist just said "Dude, you were like inches from losing all of your arm function, you gotta be more careful with those..."

""When I was 16 I had a psychiatrist tell me I don't have depression and don't have any mental problems because I showered and took care of my appearance XD ???!!!!!???!!! WHAT EVEN IS THAT LOGIC, how did she reach that conclusion while sitting there for an hour, listening to HOW FUCKING TORTURED I AM and with how many problems and challenges I was dealing with just to pull through the day.""

Duuuuude when I cut a gash on my arm with a big kitchen knife, my psychologist just said "Dude, you were like inches from losing all of your arm function, you gotta be more careful with those..."

Totally downplayed it. I agreed with him and that was that. Man it sucks that you don't realize what's going on in the moment.

 

[helencry]

They just want us all to be good little sheep who will work till we die and be happy about it.