Venting i hate my job

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yeah, everyone hates their job, i'm nothing special.
it's really driving me crazy, just one shitty thing after another. my job isn't even hard, everything is supposed to be pretty easy but it's ruined by the incompetence of others. i can't even complain about other people, it doesn't do anything and it makes things worse.

i work with my brothers, it's horrible. working in the same environment as them was comforting at first, it makes a lot of things easier, but it's wrecked my peace of mind. i think they really do hate me tbh. or i'm just so insignificant in their minds, which is so much worse. so, for the sake of my sanity, i'll say they hate me. i don't think i would've realized this if we didn't work together, so much has happened that has made me realized so many things. they treat me in a way that feels different that i can't really describe.
i've been sexually harassed constantly since i've started, which i've heard isn't that uncommon. both men and women receive a lot of sexual harassment here. it was so bad at one point, there was a new person being weird towards me nearly every single day. aggressively trying to get my number or socials, not stopping no matter how many times i say no, saying pervy shit about me or my body in front of me or to their friend who would eventually relay the message to me. people who i consider acquaintances (i don't consider anyone here a friend) are always telling/warning me about people who say pervy shit about me behind my back. it's so gutting, i don't want to know anyone or be seen by anyone because they most likely don't even see me as a person, let alone a potential friend. when i did trust someone enough to give them my number because i thought they wanted to be friends, they would immediately jump into flirting or worse.
even higher ups have said gross shit about me, there were two big bosses who were saying gross shit about me and even joking about "getting me alone" while my boss (who i was told to go to about sexual harassment, which i did) jsut laughed with them. my brothers are also higher ups and were there when this happened. they seemed pissed or worried or something like that in the moment, probably because they felt obligated to be upset as i was bawling my eyes out. they already hated the two bosses who were making the jokes (for mostly unrelated reasons, they just suck), but they're still friends with my boss, they all play games together. these are the same brothers who wouldn't do anything with me, even if i asked.

i'm so sick of even venting about shit, it almost always gets summed up as me bragging or me being ungrateful or both. no one genuinely cares about me and no one even sees me as anything more than an object, what's there to be happy about? they find my appearance appealing? it's not even one that i align with, i don't care, i just eant to mean something to someone.

if someone even slightly upsets one of their friends, they start seeing the person negatively and even try to get that person fired. idk why this is so different. i feel like i've done something wrong bht idek what.

on top of everything, this week, i made $100 less than i usually do. i was going to buy a bunch of comics, but i have to save my money now.
i'm so tired. friday is one of my off days but i had to come in because of the disaster that happened on tuesday. the weekends are always the worst, i feel like i've barely even made it through this week but i have to keep going.

each day is so miserable, and i feel so overwhelmed from both work and my usual issues that i end up feeling sick very often. i burst into tears for no reason and i can't control it, i have no way and no time to even sort through anything.
whenever i even try to vent to others, they don't even try to say anything useful. it's always just "then find a different job" as if i haven't been trying to do that for months. i'm not looking for life-changing advice, i just want a sign that you care. i've looked at everything else, and unfortunately, this is my best option.

 

[ABadPerson]

Whoever told you to be grateful or that it's bragging should really just fuck off, all I read was someone that only been exploited when at his lowest point; don't even slightly believe whatever they are saying as you did nothing wrong at all, all of the pressure could be what's getting to you in the back of your mind especially with no outlet to vent even if you don't realise, but I'm not sure as I'm drawing from personal experiences as well. You are still extremely vulnerable either way and crying/system shutdown(which can cause sickness easily) is just one outlet your body decided was the quickest means of release, I hope you find some way to vent it all out better soon as I very deeply get how tiresome it all is to have no-one or no place to properly talk about all of this to…

What I've learnt over time was that majority of people are naturally cruel and self-centred, they would rather focus on their own interests than introspectively note down how their actions/lack thereof could affect be affecting others as they see others as a lesser consciousness; only helping just barely enough to fit into societal norms out of obligation, and never stepping beyond that.

What all these people have done to you is genuinely sick and vile, yet they likely viewed it from their perspective as normal, healthy or even complimentary due to their self-centredness. I wish your brothers did far more to help, as this sort of work environment only makes existence seem so much more intolerable; I can't really give advice as I'm in an, albeit different, but similar situation so I just want to let you know that you are heard and genuinely do matter despite how much it seems as though everything else is screaming at you the opposite, it's the world that's so wrong, not you. Please don't mistake that it's your fault in any way or that you are somehow 'overreacting', it's not and you aren't, fuck all of them; you should at least be allowed to cry when all of what you been through absolutely justifies it, there's nothing wrong with releasing it all out when it's human, if any of them were truly mature adults they would understand that.