Venting I hate literally everything about getting a romantic partner

[not yet]

I hate being the guy no girl would ever want to spend time with. I hate the very fact that incels even exist. I hate people who deny the problems incels face. I hate lucky people who don't appreciate having a loved one enough. I hate that they don't even understand how attraction actually works. Yet I also hate all that red and black pill bullshit.

I hate anything that isn't genuine love; I hate the manipulation and all the other ways men use just to get laid. It hate that even the most mentally broken and miserable girls can be loved—and they are loved, based on some threads I've seen. Yet, I hate how unlovable average guys are. It hurts to see lonely guys in the communities I chat in, knowing well that no one even sees them as men. And seeing that one girl I liked in a relationship with another guy. I hate how ignorant and positive they all are.

I hate feeling like we aren't even 'real' males since we aren't capable of being liked by girls. I hate not knowing how to be likable. There's just no answer; I just know that I am unlovable. Why would I be lovable when I see so many lonely guys out there? Of course I'm nothing special; of course I'm just a loser. And I don't even think anything can help me. No amount of self-improvement will change a thing. I hate how unexplainable everything is.

Fuck, I don't even know how to actually talk to girls. How is it not 'cringe' for some guys? How the hell do they manage to be liked?? If you're a woman reading this, tell me at least something about your partner—like, why him exactly? Though why would I even want to know? It's enough to know that I'm definitely not that kind of guy.

I can't even put all my thoughts into text; there are just too many things I hate. I just need to die already. But I can't even do that because it will cause a LOT of problems to my family members. What the hell am I even supposed to do??

Maybe I seem like a complete idiot, you can speak negatively about me if you want to

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

unconditionally loved are the women

If you're pretty enough or in the right circumstances, and even then there's a big distinction between true love and fake love where the guy just wants to get into your pants.
I've known plenty of girls who are forever alone in the same position as OP, with very similar feelings. Heck, I was one of them for a really long time.*
But I will admit that yes, we are girls do generally have it way easier than men.

*I still am alone even though I want someone to call mine, but ignoring online relationships as I don't want those anymore and they don't ever fulfill the physical requirements, I haven't had luck IRL.
The only ones who have tried wooing me IRL have been ppl doing hardcore drugs or literally batshit insane creative people who sexually assaulted me and almost raped me really early on.
Then there's the occasional guy who seems kinda sweet enough, but where I know our lifestyles would clash terribly as I am very active in my life and try to keep a specific lean physique, and if they're the polar opposite that'll cause issues. Even more so as I want to actually exercise with a partner if I ever had one — I really envy seeing couples exercise together in particular.

I have spoken to incels before, and many of them do sadly behave in — let's just say — really bad ways, where they called women bitches and whores and sluts to my face, knowing I was a woman myself.
Not saying that's all of them, maybe just a tiny fraction and I was unlucky, but it did put a sour taste in my mouth after giving those people a chance to change my view on them and trying to hear their stories from their side instead of relying on what other people told me.
Others were seemingly on the neurodiverse spectrum, just being plain unlucky, but I've also had severely autistic friends just find girls after girls somehow, and no they weren't gifted with their looks or anything, just as average as you can get.

As for how to talk to girls, just.... Be natural? Don't try too hard and just be yourself. Let the conversation flow naturally without trying too hard, and most importantly talk to me because you want to get to know me not to sleep with me nor with the objective of having me as your girlfriend before anything else.
I think that's an important aspect at least, no less because it's easy to spot when a guy talks to you because you just hit it off well vs when they want something from you — the latter making me not want to talk with you.

 

[Lady_V]

like the old saying goes, the only people that are unconditionally loved are the women, childen and pets.

Damn this thought process pisses me off. Holy shit. Women (and young girls) are unconditionally lusted after, abused, and raped. Is that love to you?

 

[fruitninjamaster]

I have no partner and probably never will, look for a girl like me with no reason to keep living who is willing to take any form of love
(not saying you are not capable of love, I am sure you are wonderful)

 

[Chocomel]

I hate lucky people who don't appreciate having a loved one enough. I hate that they don't even understand how attraction actually works. Yet I also hate all that red and black pill bullshit.

I hate anything that isn't genuine love; I hate the manipulation and all the other ways men use just to get laid.

I hate lucky people who don't appreciate having a loved one enough. I hate that they don't even understand how attraction actually works. Yet I also hate all that red and black pill bullshit.



I hate anything that isn't genuine love; I hate the manipulation and all the other ways men use just to get laid.

This part really and I mean really resonate with me. My cousin is getting manipulated by her own boyfriend so that said boyfriend can have his way with her, the worst part is that she doesn't even realize it and still think it's genuine love. I also have one other cousin who always fighting with her boyfriend and sometimes just straight up ignoring each other for days, they both don't know how rare it is to be loved. To get asked what lunch you had, to get asked what outift you wear, they all just waste their relationship because they are lucky, they are lucky it's so easy for them to get another partner when they break up. Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my room alone with no one asking how am I doing, while my cousins complaining they are in bad relationship

 

[orvreader]

This part really and I mean really resonate with me. My cousin is getting manipulated by her own boyfriend so that said boyfriend can have his way with her, the worst part is that she doesn't even realize it and still think it's genuine love. I also have one other cousin who always fighting with her boyfriend and sometimes just straight up ignoring each other for days, they both don't know how rare it is to be loved. To get asked what lunch you had, to get asked what outift you wear, they all just waste their relationship because they are lucky, they are lucky it's so easy for them to get another partner when they break up. Meanwhile, here I am sitting in my room alone with no one asking how am I doing, while my cousins complaining they are in bad relationship

People get the love they think they deserve, it's sad, really. But the more relationships you have and the easier it is to get into relationships, the less they hold meaning, right? I don't think it's objectively bad not to easily get into serious relationships, but that's just me. But anyway, how are you doing right now?

 

[ManOfTheYear]

Time will keep marching forward. Will you lead a path of self reflection and change or keep building hate til you lash out and harm the ones you blame? You are not facing anything different than anyone else on either side of the gender spectrum. You face your issues and women face the issues you will never be able to fully understand or empathize with a mind biased by hate. Love always been conditional, love recently became a two-way decision. Looks, personality, etc all been conditions wayyyy long before this. People chose what they want in a partner, no one gets with another without any reasons behind it. Women until recently in history were confined to kitchens, being sah mothers leaving no income in a society were it was so commonplace to just shit on women that there were boomer memes just about hating your wifes. Models thin expectations to the point mothers were starving themselves and their daughters to fit a societal standard while sons got all the icecream and cool racecars they wanted, women still today are brainwashed to love makeup and pink baby doll toys at young ages so when they grow up thats they're hobbies and drives, how you think most these lifes went? What expectations you believe they had then compared to today, cause for me sounds like they didn't really have a choice to search for more options in a partner they actually wanted. Why are you upset at women getting the actually equal choice you do in finding the person you will spend your life with? Husbands only needed to checkbox being good looking enough with a paycheck (since they were the only ones allowed to work), and be well mannered. IS having to be what women were DEMANDED to be for years to much for you? Humans are no different than any other animal on this planet. Both women and men gotta drive to fuck and both have to fluff up their feathers and peacock their way into a relationship.

 

[EmpressDean]

I hate being the guy no girl would ever want to spend time with. I hate the very fact that incels even exist. I hate people who deny the problems incels face. I hate lucky people who don't appreciate having a loved one enough. I hate that they don't even understand how attraction actually works. Yet I also hate all that red and black pill bullshit.

I hate anything that isn't genuine love; I hate the manipulation and all the other ways men use just to get laid. It hate that even the most mentally broken and miserable girls can be loved—and they are loved, based on some threads I've seen. Yet, I hate how unlovable average guys are. It hurts to see lonely guys in the communities I chat in, knowing well that no one even sees them as men. And seeing that one girl I liked in a relationship with another guy. I hate how ignorant and positive they all are.

I hate feeling like we aren't even 'real' males since we aren't capable of being liked by girls. I hate not knowing how to be likable. There's just no answer; I just know that I am unlovable. Why would I be lovable when I see so many lonely guys out there? Of course I'm nothing special; of course I'm just a loser. And I don't even think anything can help me. No amount of self-improvement will change a thing. I hate how unexplainable everything is.

Fuck, I don't even know how to actually talk to girls. How is it not 'cringe' for some guys? How the hell do they manage to be liked?? If you're a woman reading this, tell me at least something about your partner—like, why him exactly? Though why would I even want to know? It's enough to know that I'm definitely not that kind of guy.

I can't even put all my thoughts into text; there are just too many things I hate. I just need to die already. But I can't even do that because it will cause a LOT of problems to my family members. What the hell am I even supposed to do??

Maybe I seem like a complete idiot, you can speak negatively about me if you want to

Can I say something? There is this guy who is really sweet and is a great person overall who, for some weird reason, likes me. I'm 30. I don't even know why he likes me. I told him about how people in my life have rejected me so I have big wounds and idk if I can be with him. I tried to kiss him and I couldn't like it and I hate that. I hate that I can't enjoy kissing or want sex. I want to want that. I want to be that girl that gets married and enjoys sex and kissing and connection and have kids. But it's like my emotional bad witch or something ruins it for me. I'm terrified that I will be this emotionally neglectful mother/wife cuz I shut down so easily. I wish I wasn't autistic or whatever the hell this is. I wanna be a normal girl

 

[Whale_bones]

Fuck, I don't even know how to actually talk to girls. How is it not 'cringe' for some guys? How the hell do they manage to be liked?? If you're a woman reading this, tell me at least something about your partner—like, why him exactly?

Talk to them like they're people. Women aren't a separate species, they don't require a totally different form of communication. Have conversations with women where you're not expecting anything out of them, you're just interacting with them like you would with guys.

Yeah, flirting feels cringe a lot of the time, and most people- men and women both- feel awkward when they're around someone they like. But it's easier when you start by getting to know a woman just like you would anyone else; talk about your interests, hang out and get coffee or a meal, go do fun things together. Make the priority be enjoying each other's company, rather than "when will this turn romantic".

That sets up the chance for it to happen naturally which is, IME, a lot less awkward of a way to go about it. Of course, this only works if you genuinely enjoy the other person's company, so your whole reason for hanging out with her doesn't hinge on whether she'd be romantic with you or not.

 

[snow leopard]

I don't believe unconditional love exist - it is only that kind of love i could call real. Wouldn't call myself ugly, some would probably call me kinda handsome, 6 feet man. I had no problems talking to women or anyone in that regard when i was younger, but as suffer from erectile dysfunction from quite early age i didn't want to get close to women. I guess having money would probably help me in this regard. Being broke eastern european only makes me more useless i guess.

Being on the spectrum and socially awkward doesn't help me either.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

It's a real joke for me to comment on this, because I'm an idiot and my wife hates everything about me... but here goes... the whole relationship thing is miserable. A few sparks here and there, but it's brutal. Every thought you expressed sounds very familiar to me, how I used to feel when I was young and before I gave up on the whole idea. If you do find someone, it likely won't go the way you'd hope, and it will likely end in bitterness eventually. I don't have any advice.

 

[lawlietsph]

meanwhile me, a woman, falling in love with the most mentally broken men, giving my heart and soul to them, loving them to the point of my own destruction, just to be thrown away 3 times in a row because i'm not pretty enough and my love is suffocating ::::::::))))


most women are kind and caring (not all of course). the "we are not real males" belief is coming from other men, not women. we don't judge you nearly as much as you think we do. we are soooooo happy if you show basic kindness, treat us nicely, and you don't even have to look good, just be clean and that's it. I honestly believe 80% of men's insecurities and this insane pressure is coming from other men, not women.
of course I could be wrong, i could be saying dumb shit. that's just my opinion.
and again, i am aware that there are lots of horrible girls out there, of course not everyone is kind unfortunately.

and about unconditional love, it is actually something that i believe only women are capable of. it is the mother-child kinda love, i've felt it towards 2 men before. both of them hurt me in so many ways, they said the most horrible things to me, they did nothing good to me, but i loved them with all my heart. and they were average looking, but to me they were like gods.
both left me with a broken soul, but still to this day, i think about them with love.
idk what i'm saying anymore.

I hate being the guy no girl would ever want to spend time with. I hate the very fact that incels even exist. I hate people who deny the problems incels face. I hate lucky people who don't appreciate having a loved one enough. I hate that they don't even understand how attraction actually works. Yet I also hate all that red and black pill bullshit.

I hate anything that isn't genuine love; I hate the manipulation and all the other ways men use just to get laid. It hate that even the most mentally broken and miserable girls can be loved—and they are loved, based on some threads I've seen. Yet, I hate how unlovable average guys are. It hurts to see lonely guys in the communities I chat in, knowing well that no one even sees them as men. And seeing that one girl I liked in a relationship with another guy. I hate how ignorant and positive they all are.

I hate feeling like we aren't even 'real' males since we aren't capable of being liked by girls. I hate not knowing how to be likable. There's just no answer; I just know that I am unlovable. Why would I be lovable when I see so many lonely guys out there? Of course I'm nothing special; of course I'm just a loser. And I don't even think anything can help me. No amount of self-improvement will change a thing. I hate how unexplainable everything is.

Fuck, I don't even know how to actually talk to girls. How is it not 'cringe' for some guys? How the hell do they manage to be liked?? If you're a woman reading this, tell me at least something about your partner—like, why him exactly? Though why would I even want to know? It's enough to know that I'm definitely not that kind of guy.

I can't even put all my thoughts into text; there are just too many things I hate. I just need to die already. But I can't even do that because it will cause a LOT of problems to my family members. What the hell am I even supposed to do??

Maybe I seem like a

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

we are soooooo happy if you show basic kindness, treat us nicely, and you don't even have to look good, just be clean and that's it

Literally, though. I've had so many guys be literally shocked I talk with them because they're not super models and I am "way above their league" supposedly. Like bish idgaf as long as you're nice.. You're the ones making it weirder than it has to be, lol.

 

[Happy Cat]

No one will ever love a woman who's not attractive. It's all people think about when they see a woman

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

No one will ever love a woman who's not attractive. It's all people think about when they see a woman

Attractive in which ways?

 

[Happy Cat]

Attractive in which ways?

I mean attractive as in not being ugly

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You learn to talk to women by putting yourself in situations where you'll be around them. It's a skill you have to practice.

But yes, dating in 2025 sounds awful.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

I mean attractive as in not being ugly

Well, I've seen disfigured, handicapped, obese women (all in one even) have men loving them.. IRL even..

 

[Chocomel]

People get the love they think they deserve, it's sad, really. But the more relationships you have and the easier it is to get into relationships, the less they hold meaning, right? I don't think it's objectively bad not to easily get into serious relationships, but that's just me. But anyway, how are you doing right now?

Yes that is true with the fact that more relationship partner equal less love. They're not chasing the love anymore, they're into relationship just to fill that gap.

And thank you for asking, Im doing fine right now. In fact today I decided that I want to clean my room :)

 

[trashisland]

I hate this idea that women are just loved no matter what. thats just not the case, and im saying this as a girl. every time I see someone say this it pisses me off because they really have no idea what its like at all. many of the times theyre not even talking about love, just lust. that isnt love at all

 

[SomewhereNew]

I don't see how people trust people in 2025 everyone feels like a snake

 

[sanctionedusage]

...smash

 

[maylurker]

I hate this idea that women are just loved no matter what. thats just not the case, and im saying this as a girl. every time I see someone say this it pisses me off because they really have no idea what its like at all. many of the times theyre not even talking about love, just lust. that isnt love at all

well romantic love isnt the only love out there. women are pretty favoured than men on average for obvious reasons. not downplaying sa and stuff

 

[Bunnymmm]

Literally, though. I've had so many guys be literally shocked I talk with them because they're not super models and I am "way above their league" supposedly. Like bish idgaf as long as you're nice.. You're the ones making it weirder than it has to be, lol.

Damn to be perceived as such! Not all of us women are lucky