I hate having anxiety disorder.

[thatguyakira123]

I have been stuggling to sleep for years because of it and really have a hard time during the day becuase I'm always overthinkng about something it makes up and then I spend a shit ton of time telling myself about reality and calming myself down. Trying cognitive behavioral therapy, helps sometimes but it's more of like putting a towel ontop of a huge leak.

I just can't. I tried getting help online and the various articles and that one forum is bullshit. (Exercise) I'm a skateboarder, (Eat Healthy) I do and have been for almost a decade, (Don't use technology) Literally screens is the only thing that makes me tired enough to go back to sleep. I do not snore so it's not sleep apnea. Nights like this really makes me regret staying alive. I made a promise to kill myself at 30. I am now 31 and I am gong to be 32 next year. I just wish I could just strangle myself to sleep eveynight. If I could make myself uncouncious I would.

I just kept myself alive becuase it seemed that things were getting better. But I should've known things would've turned out this way. Always have. I was never ment to be happy. I'm a good person, get shit from life. My brother is a horrible person and he gets everything handed to him.

Man fuck this world and my stupid brain.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive really is horrible. I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless and you are exhausted. Life is just so unfair. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.