Story I hate god for making me this ugly

[deadzombie6]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

 

[pixi]

i'm 20 years old and i met a man who was 22 who had no experiences whatsoever. it's entirely possible for you to be someone's first still, but i wouldn't rule anyone out simply because of past experiences still. my first real relationship was at 18. you'd be surprised how many people are out there who haven't found a chance yet. they're a quiet group, but a large one.

 

[needthebus]

sorry you feel this way and are here at SaSu. also hi

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Unrequited love is as torturous as it gets.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

I've never been with anyone either.

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

We have our own people. Believe it or not there's someone for you somewhere. The world is not only looks. Of course it affects so many things so so many things but once a person is ugly on the inside no relationship will last long. Probably one side only has lust over that person. Not love.

I believe that I'm not attractive at all. Only got sum big boobs thats it. Somehow I got people that wanted to give me a chance. I knew who wanted what from me though. U gotta be careful. I dont reply to those who only lusts over me. I want genuine love believe it or not theres people like that for me and for you.
Dont lose hope!

 

[greebo6]

I have always wished I wasn't so ugly. I have long ago given up because I know I am too ugly for love . I understand that pain. But you are still young . Time , if nothing else , is still on your side. Good luck . I hope it changes for you somehow .

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I mean, you are 19. There is still a pretty good chance of you being someone's first. Along with that, who cares if you aren't someone's first? Most people don't get to be someone's first and that's okay. I'm pretty ugly and I still somehow ended up having someone fall in love with me (my current bf). I'm sure that you probably still have a chance of finding romantic love. And if you don't? Well, that's fine. Romantic love is no more special than any other type of love anyway.

 

[LukaParrot]

You're not ugly and still very young.

I still remember how it hurts to not having a reciprocated love. Believe me that it will pass, with time, you're gonna laugh after few years.

When we're young, I think... we're kinda desperate to find someone, you're going to find someone better.

Love is a very weird thing, I remember telling a friend how much I liked a woman and in my opinion she was beautiful, he look at me like "are you crazy? she is ugly as fuck!". I think i was 30-35yo.... so, what I want to say is, from my experience, you need to keep going and you're going to find someone that trully deserves you.

 

[coffeebeany]

I'm so sorry you feel this way and that it causes you so much pain. Unrequited love is very painful. I don't want to give you the "when I was your age" talk (I'm 30 now) but I agree with the previous commentators. When I was 18/19 I've been through a similar situation (like so many others) and it was so painful. I was very desperate and felt so hopeless. I was super critical about my looks, too, and to some extent I still am because it is difficult in our world to love yourself everyday. Today, with more perspective and fully developed, I think with 19 we usually lack important points of reference and life experiences that may help to put our thoughts and feelings into perspective. Again, what you are feeling is very valid and I sympathize a lot. But you are still very young. Like someone said, love can be complex and paradox at times. I do not think that you are ugly. Besides, looks aren't everything. People have different tastes and features they find attractive. You don't have to meet unrealistic or uniform beauty standards to find romantic love (or any love). You have every chance to find a romantic partner who might love you for all the things you may not like about yourself.

And regarding being someone's first love. Why is this so important to you? EvisceratedJester pointed it out: Most people don't get to be someone's first. I know first love or first sex are often romanticized and idealized in our society. These are common tropes in literature and film. But realistically, this does not determine the quality or depth of your relationship with a partner.

 

[SomethingOriginal]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

Ugliness is a subjective concept. She might have been boring as anything and he'll probably not stick around. Self-confidence therapy was shown to be as effective as plastic surgery by one study. Personality is important. Things like physical fitness (if this concerns you) can be worked on. Focus on what you control, as the stoics say. You can't control your looks (and no, I'm not saying anything is wrong with them - we always think we look worse than we do).

 

[deadzombie6]

Unrequited love is as torturous as it gets.

Ikr i still remember him laughing at my love letter in front of his friends lol ugly women aren't even treated like humans

 

[ClippedWings]

Anything bad that ever happened to you wasn't your fault, and everything good that happened to wasn't to your credit. Every single thing is lucky all the way down.

 

[Oliver]

One of the most brutal realities of this sick and twisted world is the fact, that you can only fall in love with someones looks - it's purely a "biochemical response" (so to speak) to their looks. Think of all the people you have had a crush on. You fell in love with their face and especially their eyes. If you don't have the looks good look to get someone to truly fall in love with you. Sick world. Nature is absolutely brutal and it doesn't give 2 shits about us.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

She might have been boring as anything and he'll probably not stick around.

You know, I feel like you don't need to make rude assumptions about her in order to make the OP feel better. You don't know her so who are you to assume that she must be boring and that he'll grow tired of her?

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I feel u. Im ugly myyself and i wish to be beautiful . I dont even dare to think about love cause i know im already rejected.

 

[deadzombie6]

You know, I feel like you don't need to make rude assumptions about her in order to make the OP feel better. You don't know her so who are you to assume that she must be boring and that he'll grow tired of her?

They eventually broke up a year later because according to him she cheated on him that's what he told me . Being rude to her doesn't makes me feel better just saying tbh I've forgotten this whole situation it was a long time ago

 

[screaming rain]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

One day you will find that special person. I get finding that one person and loving them for a long time only to get hurt in the end by someone else. It happens and it sucks, but one day you will find someone better for you.
Someone that will see you for who you are. No matter how ugly you may view yourself, you have a beauty that you just can't see right now.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Not the beauties are successful in all spheres of life. It is more important to be interesting, self-confident and first of all without self-pity. In my country for example was a lady, who is really ugly in my eyes, the chancellor for 16 years.

 

[Kanashii]

6 years ago when I was like 13 i started liking a boy and he's the only boy i ever loved but he rejected me 3 years ago . Before all this rejection thing he had a girlfriend , that girl was my classmate . When I had a crush on him I saw how he smiled , giggled and blushed at that girl or how he turned back just to catch glances of her . I remember how he smiled when she looked at him , he was really good looking and so was she , she was everything i could never be he chose her over me . She was pretty , thin and beautiful something that I can never be . 2020 feb 14 on valentine's I saw him bringing a rose and choclate and proposing to her in front of my eyes it shattered my heart I've always known i was ugly but this shit killed me . I wish I was pretty I wish I was her I wish God dint make me this ugly . I've moved on yet whenever he messages casually ( once a year or so ) I feel my heart beat I feel my stomach flip i get so many butterflies and idk why . He's the only one I had a crush on still hurts to think that if I was beautiful i would have been his first love and first girlfriend . I'm already 19 and it hurts to know that I will never be anyone's first in anything . I can never be a man's first love and it hurts .

Never put yourself down like that. There is always going to be someone out there. One thing about love is that you have to be patient and Im sure a lot of people on this thread will agree on that.

No one is ugly. Self love and self respect is an important thing. We live in a world where people only put themselves first and think only about themselves. Very self centered. I'm not saying you should be like them, but self love it's important. I used to struggle with it at times in the past, especially regarding relationships or what people knew about me.

Never give up, you'll find someone it just takes it's time, and the more time it does take the better. You were also a very young age when you were rejected and young love can be stupid. A lot of young people don't care about the personality someone might have until it hurts them. You dont need to be hurt like that to find out who really is the one for you. Everything happens for a reason and I trust that you'll find the one who is right and perfect for you, just never give up.

 

[SomethingOriginal]

You know, I feel like you don't need to make rude assumptions about her in order to make the OP feel better. You don't know her so who are you to assume that she must be boring and that he'll grow tired of her?

I think you have misinterpreted what I'm trying to achieve here. It's not a 'rude assumption', it's not even an assumption. I didn't state that they were, I said 'might' be (again being 'boring' is subjective and I mean in the eyes of the man. One person's idea of boring is not another's). Even if I was saying this, which I am not, the person is unlikely to read it and get offended so you don't need to on their behalf.

My comment was simply highlighting that people often look for more than looks like things in common or intellectual conversation. Everyone's looks will fade as they get old anyway, so having things in common, being supportive of each other etc are not important than looks by far.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I think you have misinterpreted what I'm trying to achieve here. It's not a 'rude assumption', it's not even an assumption. I didn't state that they were, I said 'might' be (again being 'boring' is subjective and I mean in the eyes of the man. One person's idea of boring is not another's). Even if I was saying this, which I am not, the person is unlikely to read it and get offended so you don't need to on their behalf.

My comment was simply highlighting that people often look for more than looks like things in common or intellectual conversation. Everyone's looks will fade as they get old anyway, so having things in common, being supportive of each other etc are not important than looks by far.

How do you know that the person wouldn't get offended? You don't know them. The point is, you are making a disparaging comment in order to prop up the OP, which isn't needed. Even the OP stated that being rude to her doesn't make them feel better.

Also, looks do still matter in regards to finding a partner in the first place. It's significantly easier to find someone when you are attractive compared to when you aren't. Everybody knows that looks don't mean everything but many they do mean something, especially when it comes to getting someone to become attracted to you in first place.

 

[SomethingOriginal]

How do you know that the person wouldn't get offended? You don't know them. The point is, you are making a disparaging comment in order to prop up the OP, which isn't needed. Even the OP stated that being rude to her doesn't make them feel better.

Also, looks do still matter in regards to finding a partner in the first place. It's significantly easier to find someone when you are attractive compared to when you aren't. Everybody knows that looks don't mean everything but many they do mean something, especially when it comes to getting someone to become attracted to you in first place.

Looks are subjective and attraction is more complex than just looks for most reasonable people. In the unlikely event the person you mention stumbles across this forum, they would be unlikely to become offended if they read between the lines and form the conclusion that I am trying to provide the OP with an alternative perspective with the aim of making them feel heard/better. If my comments have triggered you, please select the IGNORE BUTTON on my profile page. I'm open to logical debate, but I don't want to make OP's thread a bunch of unrelated arguments about how someone should or shouldn't attempt to make someone else feel better. So please can I ask you to cut down on the friendly fire and maybe contribute to help the OP feel better instead?

Also, if the OP doesn't want my comments up, I'll gladly do my best to take them down if the site allows, but yours is the first reply I have seen, so I assume the OP isn't unhappy with my comment.

 

[ghost-shock]

guys have preferences (eventhough the incels on the internet like to believe most dont) ive been rejected alot throughout my life not being the preference of whatever guys are looking for.