I hate crisis plans

[woofwag]

Idk if anyone else is like me, but when I'm in a crisis and about to attempt to CBT or hurt myself, I don't want anything to do with a crisis plan. They genuinely do nothing for me because why would I care about feeling better in those moments? If I want to die, I'm not going to go for a walk or call a friend or whatever the fuck is recommended to me. I'm going to either hurt myself or try to die. I respect that they can be helpful for others, but personally I don't really get how? Like when I am in a crisis, I am absolutely set on my intentions. There are very few things that will drag me out of a crisis, and none of them have anything to do with me trying to feel better, because why would I care to do that when I can just CBT or hurt myself? Something like not having a reliable method, being too physically disabled to move, being in an area where I don't have access to any of my sh tools, or just pure laziness, those are things that will stop me. But I'm not going to try anything to feel better, because in those moments, I don't want to! So it pisses me off when I get the same tired advice to "call a hotline" or "snap a rubber band on your wrist" or some bs, like no, if I'm in a crisis I'm going to be hurting myself in some way. Is anyone else like this?

 

[Wrath]

I don't have any plans for stuff like this when it happens. I just sit down and freak out silently, hoping I forget about it the next day. I usually try to logically exhaust all options. I have weird stuff going on in my head where I worry about stuff just as likely as a plane falling on my house and killing me. It's stupid, but it makes my chest tense up and it feels real to me. I just try to tell myself all the reasons why it could happen and all the reasons why it wouldn't and that usually works, but takes me hours. I don't really know if this fits into the topic, but it felt relevant. Stuff that involves coping mechanisms that avoids the core problem doesn't really help when it's a constant worry or problem imo. I hope this relates a bit.

 

[traumer]

I think the same so I find destroying objects or screaming my guts out more helpful when I feel like I want to end it all because if im going crazy reading a book won't solve that it will only make me feel more stressed. so i find solutions that are not all positive and whimsy more helpful like idk ripping my clothes off it's still harmful to me because clothes cost money but at the end i didn't kill myself

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

Same. At the end we are monkeys that we are continuosly assessing how much energy for this vs how much benefit I will get. When the balance is too bad, u get petrified, just go to bed and just pray that tomorrow will be better

 

[woofwag]

I don't have any plans for stuff like this when it happens. I just sit down and freak out silently, hoping I forget about it the next day. I usually try to logically exhaust all options. I have weird stuff going on in my head where I worry about stuff just as likely as a plane falling on my house and killing me. It's stupid, but it makes my chest tense up and it feels real to me. I just try to tell myself all the reasons why it could happen and all the reasons why it wouldn't and that usually works, but takes me hours. I don't really know if this fits into the topic, but it felt relevant. Stuff that involves coping mechanisms that avoids the core problem doesn't really help when it's a constant worry or problem imo. I hope this relates a bit.

Yeah, I get that. That sounds like an intrusive thought to me. I it's a lil different for me because in my crisis moments I very much do *not* want the feeling to go away. I want to embrace it and make it hurt as much as possible so that I do end up dying.

But I very much understand that paranoia, as I had a period of time where I believed the government was out to kill me/everyone I knew, that people I knew had been replaced with robots, that cars were following me, etc. And I also didn't want to do those momentary copes people suggest since it was so real to me that I didn't believe there even was anything to cope with. That's just how it was and what was destined to happen to me.

I think crisis plan copes exist for people who aren't in that constant state of distress that we're in, where it feels pointless to do anything since it's never-ending. That or our brains are just wired weird, idk. I hope that makes sense.

I think the same so I find destroying objects or screaming my guts out more helpful when I feel like I want to end it all because if im going crazy reading a book won't solve that it will only make me feel more stressed. so i find solutions that are not all positive and whimsy more helpful like idk ripping my clothes off it's still harmful to me because clothes cost money but at the end i didn't kill myself

Actually that sounds really cathartic. Last time I had a flashback I slammed my head into my doorframe, but I think destroying something might have a similar affect

 

[sinnamonbun]

Exactly what you said. The chances of me thinking through my list of safe people when I'm actively suicidal is slim to none. The emergency plan has never done anything for me.