I hate coming home

[cemeteryismyhome]

I dread coming home after being out at work or somewhere. I've tried to talk about it to work out an agreeable solution and get shot down hard every time. There's no negotiation, no compromise, not even a discussion. It's "how can you be so hateful" and "what about me" and "you're so stupid". I have no where to go to be alone, to have anything the way I would like to have it arranged. No peace and quiet. At best, it's constant irritation. Feels like a life sentence in prison. I think one of these days I'm not going to go home.

 

[Angel999]

i dont have a job or a room or a square of space of my own and for 30 years all i hear is my inbred 80 iq mother and father and siblings talk about nothing or insult me.

 

[Redacted24]

I'm with you on this.
I can't even say the phrase "going home" personally - after work I go back to the house.

It's ironic you choose to say it feels like prison.
For years now I've referred to my married partner of 20+ years as my warden. She's effectively placed me in solitary confinement for about 5 years - neither she nor 2 of our 3 young adult children talk to me or acknowledge that I'm physically there. They all hide when I'm in one part of the house or don't look at me of they have to walk past.

Nobody eats with me. Ever.

It's hard to be ostracized by people you've lived with for all or most of their lives. It takes a toll.

I've been slowly demoted from family member to roommate to boarder to prisoner and equivalent to vermin.

And the only place I can feel at peace there is outside, but that's not possible all the time.
But on those rare occasions when they're all out, it's peaceful and relaxing and I'm not afraid.

Wishing you the best... could you start finding ways to be out more? Take up hiking? Do volunteer work? Sign up for a class and learn how to weld?

Just a thought!

 

[Paizen]

I'm with you on this.
I can't even say the phrase "going home" personally - after work I go back to the house.

It's ironic you choose to say it feels like prison.
For years now I've referred to my married partner of 20+ years as my warden. She's effectively placed me in solitary confinement for about 5 years - neither she nor 2 of our 3 young adult children talk to me or acknowledge that I'm physically there. They all hide when I'm in one part of the house or don't look at me of they have to walk past.

Nobody eats with me. Ever.

It's hard to be ostracized by people you've lived with for all or most of their lives. It takes a toll.

I've been slowly demoted from family member to roommate to boarder to prisoner and equivalent to vermin.

And the only place I can feel at peace there is outside, but that's not possible all the time.
But on those rare occasions when they're all out, it's peaceful and relaxing and I'm not afraid.

Wishing you the best... could you start finding ways to be out more? Take up hiking? Do volunteer work? Sign up for a class and learn how to weld?

Just a thought!

Your life is so intriguing to me. I would like to know more...

How did you meet your warden wife and when did the relationship turn sour? What do you think made your kids not want to be around you? Why is divorce not an option and ditching the ungrateful family?

 

[Redacted24]

I feel badly sharing much on this thread, but people can be very cruel when they are afraid or jealous or for many other reasons.

She started the abuse when I couldn't give her something she wanted, even though I explained why and when I could.

She then slowly started ramping the punishment to me over time. A couple of years ago she started monopolizing going to kid activities and not supporting me when they needed to do homework or chores. So they preferred to go to her, and I was cut out of their lives. Divorce is in process. But living in a house with people that are basically abusing you, regardless of what you do or don't do, is very unhealthy. It's messed up my sense of reality, caused me to self isolate, doubt myself, think of myself as a horrible human being, and to find my way here... in search of anonymous oblivion.

Hope that helps.