Leonard_Bangley39
Hate life but scared of death
- Nov 6, 2025
- 175
this isnt a suicide or depression thing, i just fucking hate being sick.
for some reason, i keep getting sick right before important events. i got sick on my first day at my welding job, i got sick right before i was supposed to go to mt fuji, and this monday i got sick a couple days before im supposed to move.
it's like my body can sense when the most inconvenient time for me to get sick is to maximize how pissed off i get. My sister says it might be a stress rhing but idk, i never really feel all that stressed.
The feeling of being sick is just so awful. No temperature feels right, im either freezing to death while soaking my bed in sweat, or im feeling like im about to die of heat stroke while sitting in front of an ac.
my head will be pounding, my eyes will be constantly watering, my nose will be runny no matter how much i fucking blow it.
I hate that part especially. I'll feel my nose running, so I'll blow somewhere around a gallon of snot into a tissue and ill feel such relief. and then approximately 5 seconds later my nose will be running again like i did nothing at all! like, where the fuck did all that fluid come from?!?! why cant my sinuses just calm the fuck down!
and if i only have access to stuff like paper towels and not soft tissues then better get ready for my nostrils to be rubbed raw after blowing and wiping my nose a million times. sometimes ill rub chapstick on my nostrils just to ease the burn.
but worst of all, is the fucking coughing. even after ive recovered from everything else and i feel perfectly fine, my throat will still be fucked up for well over a week afterwards and no matter what i do, no matter how many cough drops i take, no matter how much cough syrup i (safely) drink, no matter how much water i drink, i will still break into intense coughing fits almost ever god damn MINUTE like im a 97 year old nicotine addict!!!
it feels like there's an itch deep in my throat and i just want to deepthroat a toilet scrubber to scratch it. no matter what i do i cant stop the coughing. im just forced to cough nonstop until my throat tears itself raw because my body is fucking stupid and cant handle any minor illness without trying to blow itself up. jeaus fucking christ i just want to go to sleep but i cant because i keep coughing and nothing helps
for some reason, i keep getting sick right before important events. i got sick on my first day at my welding job, i got sick right before i was supposed to go to mt fuji, and this monday i got sick a couple days before im supposed to move.
it's like my body can sense when the most inconvenient time for me to get sick is to maximize how pissed off i get. My sister says it might be a stress rhing but idk, i never really feel all that stressed.
The feeling of being sick is just so awful. No temperature feels right, im either freezing to death while soaking my bed in sweat, or im feeling like im about to die of heat stroke while sitting in front of an ac.
my head will be pounding, my eyes will be constantly watering, my nose will be runny no matter how much i fucking blow it.
I hate that part especially. I'll feel my nose running, so I'll blow somewhere around a gallon of snot into a tissue and ill feel such relief. and then approximately 5 seconds later my nose will be running again like i did nothing at all! like, where the fuck did all that fluid come from?!?! why cant my sinuses just calm the fuck down!
and if i only have access to stuff like paper towels and not soft tissues then better get ready for my nostrils to be rubbed raw after blowing and wiping my nose a million times. sometimes ill rub chapstick on my nostrils just to ease the burn.
but worst of all, is the fucking coughing. even after ive recovered from everything else and i feel perfectly fine, my throat will still be fucked up for well over a week afterwards and no matter what i do, no matter how many cough drops i take, no matter how much cough syrup i (safely) drink, no matter how much water i drink, i will still break into intense coughing fits almost ever god damn MINUTE like im a 97 year old nicotine addict!!!
it feels like there's an itch deep in my throat and i just want to deepthroat a toilet scrubber to scratch it. no matter what i do i cant stop the coughing. im just forced to cough nonstop until my throat tears itself raw because my body is fucking stupid and cant handle any minor illness without trying to blow itself up. jeaus fucking christ i just want to go to sleep but i cant because i keep coughing and nothing helps
