Venting I finally thought I had a chance in life

[hatedavoidant]

This was the first time in my life I was truly happy. Ever. I finally had decided that maybe my future is worth living for, even though my whole life, even in my childhood, I prayed that I wouldn't have a future at all. The person I thought I was going to marry, that I spent so much time with, cheated on me. This might sound like a minor problem to most, but as a person with borderline personality disorder, I feel like my life has already ended after finding out about this. I've been through many different types of abuse (sexual, physical, mental), have endured so much and yet this feels worse than anything else that ever happened to me again. I can't think clearly, and I cannot imagine my future anymore. I truly thought it got better, I thought all of the pain had finally come to an end and this was the start of my healing. I feel completely empty now. This is the only place that ever made me feel peace, so I decided to come back here again. I hope this doesn't violate any guidelines, cause I haven't been here in a while.

 

[playalistic]

This was the first time in my life I was truly happy. Ever. I finally had decided that maybe my future is worth living for, even though my whole life, even in my childhood, I prayed that I wouldn't have a future at all. The person I thought I was going to marry, that I spent so much time with, cheated on me. This might sound like a minor problem to most, but as a person with borderline personality disorder, I feel like my life has already ended after finding out about this. I've been through many different types of abuse (sexual, physical, mental), have endured so much and yet this feels worse than anything else that ever happened to me again. I can't think clearly, and I cannot imagine my future anymore. I truly thought it got better, I thought all of the pain had finally come to an end and this was the start of my healing. I feel completely empty now. This is the only place that ever made me feel peace, so I decided to come back here again. I hope this doesn't violate any guidelines, cause I haven't been here in a while.

i understand that pain

i just got out of a 7 year relationship where i was eventually cheated on, I wouldnt say i derived ALL of my happiness and meaning from that relationship but i have always struggled with mental health/ depression and i feel like the relationship was the thread holding everything together pretty much. It was my sense of security, my comfort. Its been a few months but i still feel like i havent really healed at all or know how to live on my own

i feel like (while I'm still alive lol) im going to be celibate for a while, maybe at least a few years. Heartbreak ALWAYS hits me like a truck and wreaks havoc on my mental health. i feel like the pain of heartbreak isn't worth the pleasure of a relationship

anything that can bring you great joy & happiness & positive emotions also has the exact inverse capability to make you completely miserable. Yin and yang

 

[Wolf Girl]

I'm so sorry that you were betrayed in this way. Your feelings are valid and this is *not* a minor problem. Cheating is emotional abuse. You have the right to feel as bad as you feel about the person you trusted most betraying you.