itsamadworld
i wanna die somewhere like up there
- Mar 15, 2020
- 410
It's a feeling i can't shake. Like when I sit down, after the masters strong arm me to go pick cotton....or something like that! My body just buzzes, like my nerves...I mean when I go to work, scurrying through their metropolitan hellscapes to get to their prisons where I am forced to comply or it's poverty! Okay, you can't just go live anywhere, you gotta pay your taxes to live in this prison planet!!! ANd I don't even want to be here!! But even death is hell!!...I got All hot and bothered, boy, was hurried and worried moving their heavy cargo around, and for what? I am minimalist! ....Or When I have to partake in the care of our elderly- so they are forced to comply with standard live to be 84 or older! It makes the handlers look good! Look how long we can keep our lab-rats alive.
Story of my life.....Maybe give them some serum, inject into them, until they pass out on the hard floor, and convulse around, shimmy and shake, like a fish out of water! Let's make them suffer before we send them to their stations....Oh, that's not the voices in my head telling me this! This was my experience in childhood modern medicine, before I work in hospitals, and before I deployed and in the evangelical church!...Yeah, these handlers, they love to pump and dump you full of their juice! teehee I'm sure that did my already defective brain a world of good...
Anyways, I gotta make up some excuse to get a week off of work or to quit or get some medical family emergency leave! I'm not sure which I'll do. I already had people offer me their advice on how to get unemployment bennies, no matter how well meaning. I didn't even get unemployment money for my knee injury, which was really intense injury, swollen AF>>>>> Yet somehow I am supposed to be able to lift 50 to 100 pounds repetitively ?....I quit the cargo job, but i still got the other...fuck them!!! I don't know, I am just soooooooo sick of the system, and I am about to throw the baby out with the bathwater!....so-to-say....teehee.. why should I be their slave until the day I die??.....I don't plan to do another 25 to life, and i don't want to live to be 84 years old, or whatever the age of forced compliance is!!! ANd I don't know what to do? SO you can just say whatever cuz I got nothing better to say. ....Pardon that, no optimism in this tank at the moment, well i have a limited source of optimism. Like when i die.....I am so lost, my stomach is in knots nauseous, anxiety of letting go, but i have to...... I dread having to call my boss and tell her I am done....and I'm high....so disregard my cuss words, if you need....Anyway, thanks for listening. Peace.
Here's my battle hymn of my republic:
Story of my life.....Maybe give them some serum, inject into them, until they pass out on the hard floor, and convulse around, shimmy and shake, like a fish out of water! Let's make them suffer before we send them to their stations....Oh, that's not the voices in my head telling me this! This was my experience in childhood modern medicine, before I work in hospitals, and before I deployed and in the evangelical church!...Yeah, these handlers, they love to pump and dump you full of their juice! teehee I'm sure that did my already defective brain a world of good...
Anyways, I gotta make up some excuse to get a week off of work or to quit or get some medical family emergency leave! I'm not sure which I'll do. I already had people offer me their advice on how to get unemployment bennies, no matter how well meaning. I didn't even get unemployment money for my knee injury, which was really intense injury, swollen AF>>>>> Yet somehow I am supposed to be able to lift 50 to 100 pounds repetitively ?....I quit the cargo job, but i still got the other...fuck them!!! I don't know, I am just soooooooo sick of the system, and I am about to throw the baby out with the bathwater!....so-to-say....teehee.. why should I be their slave until the day I die??.....I don't plan to do another 25 to life, and i don't want to live to be 84 years old, or whatever the age of forced compliance is!!! ANd I don't know what to do? SO you can just say whatever cuz I got nothing better to say. ....Pardon that, no optimism in this tank at the moment, well i have a limited source of optimism. Like when i die.....I am so lost, my stomach is in knots nauseous, anxiety of letting go, but i have to...... I dread having to call my boss and tell her I am done....and I'm high....so disregard my cuss words, if you need....Anyway, thanks for listening. Peace.
Here's my battle hymn of my republic:
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