I feel like I’m forced to kill myself

[Aiyuxiao]

I'm killing myself so I will no longer live in physical chronic pain 24/7 and chronic illnesses.

I'm in no rush and hurry to kill myself. And I'm currently looking for locations to do it (I don't have money for a hotel and don't have a car so I can't drive myself to the mountains like I wanted to).

But, I feel like I'm being forced to kill myself because my body is too painful to just exist and survive in. Everyday is really hard for me.

And I honestly feel like a bad person because of the few people I will hurt. And I know they won't understand because they're not feeling what I'm feeling in my body.

I'm sorry, I'm crying typing this.

 

[whywere]

My heart and soul go out to you, as I also have 24/7 chronic pain and truly know the darn nightmare that it is.

I REALLY want you to know that I care about you deeply, as we are together in this always.

I go to a pain clinic, and I am on 2 different types of opioids, and if I may ask if you have had the opportunity to seek out medical help. It has helped me so much.

I NEVER EVER want you to feel like you are a bad person NEVER! You are a wonderfully kind and ever so caring soul who has chronic pain that zaps so much out of a person, it does to me each and every day.

My wish for you is hopefully you can find some medical care and to remember that YOU are VERY important to me as a good friend.

HUGS and caring thoughts to/for you always.

Walter

 

[Aiyuxiao]

My heart and soul go out to you, as I also have 24/7 chronic pain and truly know the darn nightmare that it is.

I REALLY want you to know that I care about you deeply, as we are together in this always.

I go to a pain clinic, and I am on 2 different types of opioids, and if I may ask if you have had the opportunity to seek out medical help. It has helped me so much.

I NEVER EVER want you to feel like you are a bad person NEVER! You are a wonderfully kind and ever so caring soul who has chronic pain that zaps so much out of a person, it does to me each and every day.

My wish for you is hopefully you can find some medical care and to remember that YOU are VERY important to me as a good friend.

HUGS and caring thoughts to/for you always.

Walter

Thank you for your kindness Walter. I appreciate your comment. I go to a pain clinic and have been quite a couple of them. They all refuse to give me opioid medication to help. I have tried procedures and other medications they have prescribed and they do nothing for my pains. I've also tried PT, OT, exercise, diet, vitamins/supplements, topical, THC, CBD, injections, surgery, therapy, etc. Nothing is working. I'm only in my early 30's. I don't want to live like this for the next 10 -50+ years for the rest of my life. :(

 

[overload]

i feel you man, same situation for me

 

[Alexandra0]

I understand your feelings. And I am very sorry that you have to suffer like this every day. My body is tormenting me very much. I want to commit suicide too. And I am determined to do it. May luck be with us

 

[Aiyuxiao]

I understand your feelings. And I am very sorry that you have to suffer like this every day. My body is tormenting me very much. I want to commit suicide too. And I am determined to do it. May luck be with us

Sending you love and peace Alex. I'm sorry you have to suffer like this everyday too because of your body :( Nobody understands this torment unless they go through it.

i feel you man, same situation for me

I'm sorry you're going through the same man :( it sucks

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer so unbearably, it's all just so cruel and dreadful to me, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, I wish you the best.

 

[polm]

My heart breaks for you I truly understand what you're going through and the feelings that go with. Unrelenting untreatable pain. I wish I could hug you right now. We need a break and the opportunity to go out on our own terms. Society is cruel. I'm hugging you and all those trapped. For now we have each other

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Thank you for your kindness Walter. I appreciate your comment. I go to a pain clinic and have been quite a couple of them. They all refuse to give me opioid medication to help. I have tried procedures and other medications they have prescribed and they do nothing for my pains. I've also tried PT, OT, exercise, diet, vitamins/supplements, topical, THC, CBD, injections, surgery, therapy, etc. Nothing is working. I'm only in my early 30's. I don't want to live like this for the next 10 -50+ years for the rest of my life. :(

I don't know where you are located but in the US, there is currently a war on drugs and a war on chronic pain patients. You, unfortunately, are a drafted warrior, and guess what, I don't believe in the draft. I hope you stay and fight a battle that's worth fighting, and win, because it is possible. But none of us can fight the system alone and we eventually fall. We don't shame those who fall in battle. We carry on for them.

 

[openBottomJeans]

I relate to you. Nobody deserves to go through constant suffering, especially when it comes to physical pain. I'm sorry it feels forced. That is how my ctb feels. But I know in my heart this is the only way. Eventually, those we leave behind will understand and be at peace, knowing we no longer are suffering.

 

[eupdplishlp]

I'm sorry you've had to bear so much tourmeant and pain. You deserve comfort, peace and love. I pray contentment comes to you through your decision.no words can describe how inhumane what you've had to bear is I truly am sorry for what life has made you go through.

 

[overload]

I relate to you. Nobody deserves to go through constant suffering, especially when it comes to physical pain. I'm sorry it feels forced. That is how my ctb feels. But I know in my heart this is the only way. Eventually, those we leave behind will understand and be at peace, knowing we no longer are suffering.

same exact thing for me, totally agree